home Archive Another Two Bite The Dust – Last Comic Standing 3, Episode 4

Another Two Bite The Dust – Last Comic Standing 3, Episode 4

The competition is heating up on Last Comic Standing, folks. Even host Jay Mohr is trying to compete for laughs. He’s a little rusty, though. When you have to say to the audience, “Hey, I can tell a joke too!” it just begs shit-ass critics like me to well, criticize you.

It was so inspired of him to talk about the weather and to piss off everyone in Indiana by telling them they’re “all fat & white.” and to explain it away by saying, “it’s funny because it’s true.” Of course, he did encourage y’all to post to the message boards to complain. Nice. He has to make a pitch to get ‘time’ on the message boards. I say…don’t do it, folks. Don’t give in to the temptation. You have better things to do with your time…like reading this review.

He brings out the comics. I was very struck by the cans on Tammy Pescatelli. As a woman, I can appreciate real boobs. Way to go, Tammy! She shoulda worn that top last week. (Poor Tammy eventually got eliminated tonight 😥 ) I am gonna miss her. She’s talented and well, she gave my husband an eyeful.

There was a big surprise — yep Season 1 got the $50,000 this week. (Did you believe me at all? If so, call me. I have some swampland in Florida I’m trying to sell. Wanna buy the Brooklyn Bridge?) It has become the running joke that Season 2 is just going to win this week after week after week.

They went into a reel about the whole idea. Some of the interesting comments were:
–“Our team needs some divine intervention.” Tess
–“We could help ourselves if we wrote Season 2’s material. I know I can come up with some crap.” Dave Mordal.
–“We are going for the jugular in a way that is so choreographed.” –Jay London.
–“We got funny we are saving up.” –Alonzo Bodden

The war room of Season 2 let us in on a little tip. Yep, ANT is up to his old tricks and controlling everything. I say, good for you, sister ANT! If it works, don’t fix it.

Sean Kent was up first. My husband and I laughed because we were thinking what if Kent was head to head with John Heffron (who went next!) I love Sean and respect him, but….up against John Heffron. Well, I think it would be a bloodbath (especially with the restrictions the show imposes!)

Sean had a great set, though. He was the funniest I’d seen him on the show yet. Can I get a ‘whoop whoop’ for Sean Kent?

Here were some highlights:
–“My doctor said, I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is you’ve got cancer. I told him the good news better not be, I saved a lot on my car insurance when I switched to Geico.”
–“If you get a goat to say I do, you deserve to marry it. I can just see you getting called at the bar by your goat wife saying, ‘Damn goat, she’s always naagggggging me.'”
–Osama job app at the Gap. That was a hoot.

John Heffron was up next. He was funny as always. I have one comment —I can just imagine Heff as a kid and well, his parents must’ve had a lot of fun with him.

His schtick about his younger brother saying “I can’t breathe”any time John touched him. I can relate as the oldest of five. Then, “remember the twin pop popsicles?” Remember ’em? Whattya mean? I still got a bunch in my fridge —they have a longer life than Cher and cockroaches.

His stuff worked so well because Heffron is not only a likable guy, but you can relate to him. I think the best comedy is comedy done that way.

When he talked about how he keeps his house cold so he his dad will want to turn up the thermostat, you can resonate with him. At least, I can. “No dad rules in MY house!”

Geoff Brown made a pitch for the $50,000 says he needs it for his baby. Admits he and his wife named the child “Bailey Gabrielle” because “that way she’ll at least make it to the job interview.” No “qua” or “ne ne” for his bab-ay.

Todd Glass took the mike in hand ‘cuz Jay had troubles with it after Geoff’s performance. Todd asked the most thought-provoking question of the night, “If the people on Jeopardy are so smart, why can’t they write better?” Maybe ‘cuz we’re too busy typing, Glass. Ever seen a doctor’s handwriting?

He is so right when he says, “every time a guy thinks he’s cool, there’s at least two women in the room who think he’s a jerk.” Probably more than two. How many of the women in the room last night thought Todd was a jerk? Raise hands! C’mon. (Note to Todd: I think you’re a great comic, but haven’t been your best on LCS yet!)

Dat Phan, the Season One winner was next. I am not a “Phan” of Dat. Not at all. He did have some funny moments, however. He talked about Angelina Jolie’s adoption of a Cambodian child and quipped, “she takes the kid out of Cambodia and then brings him back. The kid is like, I wanna see Disney Land.”

Now, Dat, Angelina adopted baby Maddox two years ago…at least and she only returned him while filming a Tomb Raider movie. That joke is several years old. Come up with some new material, puh-lease. Put some effort into the competition.

He talked about how we have hungry kids in America and did a ‘spoof’ of a World Vision or Save the Children type of commercial: “Yes, this girl is so poor she doesn’t even own a cell phone. Okay. She has a cell phone but her calling plan is terrible.”

He also talked about the fact that he’s in love with a ‘white girl’ and she has a kid. He joked about running through the mall with a blond child under his arm, saying, “Be quiet.” What must people think?

I think you need a new act, Dat.

ANT had some new material, as promised. He started off by talking about celebrities who complain about obsessive fans and how they need to remember that those fans make you famous. You go, ANT!

Here are some of the highlights:

–They only drugs I do now are antidepressants. They are the key to happiness in the world. (The thought of Hitler and antidepressants, now…well that should be explored, ANT! I’d love to hear more!)
–I hate generalizations. It’s NOT every man’s fantasy to have sex with two women. Can you imagine me in that fantasy? You hold her down. I’ll paint her nails. (AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE!)
–I’m gay not because of the sex, but the talking afterwards. What are you thinkin’ ’bout now” What are you thinkin’ ’bout now? YOUR BROTHER!

Dave Mordal came out swinging. He had some of the strongest material of the night. I asked him about his hair in our interview. You can read it at the Shack at
Apparently, I haven’t been the only one lately. He quipped, “Never let Season 2 do your hair.”

He talked about home improvement shows.

–‘The damn thing only comes on once a week. Usually it’s a rerun. I’m building a house. I’ve got a couple of porches and 6 bathrooms. If they don’t do roofing soon, I’m screwed.’

He also doesn’t camp like his dad did. He prefers hotels and lets his son watch “National Geographic”. LOL

He talked about family trips with his dad and how after a while when they’d drive for a long time, they’d just be following a ‘blood vessel in his eye.’ Damn, are Dave and I related?

Finally, Kathleen Madigan was up. She talked about being in Vegas recently. She said that she’d pay Celine Dion $450.00 a ticket to “shut up.” Now, that’s money well spent!

She is a Catholic school alum like yours truly. “I liked Catholic schools. They make you think crazy things can happen. I had to make room for my guardian angel at my desk. Apparently, my guardian angel was a lazy fat-ass who couldn’t hover.”

She’s kinder than I would be. All I learned in Catholic school was how to …well, I’ll be quiet. Wouldn’t want to piss off Catholics, now would I?

In the end, Tammy Pescatelli was eliminated as I mentioned earlier as was Rob Cantrell. Sorry, Rob, but I’d rather see you perform live than on Last Comic Standing.

******* Okay, lay it on me. Comments, questions or problems with my review? Wanna yell at me? Cool. TYPE ALL IN CAPS AND SEND YOUR EMAILS TO panndyra@yahoo.com or panndyra@realityshack.com. I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU!


Freelance writer, webmaster of realityshack.com, chief editor at applemagazine.com, contribtor to TechLife News and maketecheasier.com, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.