We start off in New Zealand, at the last Pit Stop. Colin and Christie are the first team out of the blocks again. The teams have to go to Auckland and find a yacht called the Hydroflow in the harbor to get the next clue. CC remark that “it’s not JUST that the other teams suck, we’re pretty decent at the race.” Linda and Karen are second place, but they’re exhausted. They begin arguing over the map, a very uncharacteristic move from the moms. Chip and Kim state it’s now “Me first me first me first” and they can make friends later.
Colin and Christie pull down the clue using a pulley, and it’s a Roadblock! They have to take a boat out to the Auckland Harbor Bridge, climb a 75 ft. ladder, walk across a girder and grab a clue, then jump off the bridge. This is the point in the race where, if I were a part of it, I would pee in my pants. Colin, characteristically, kicks major butt and basically runs through the Roadblock without any trouble. The teams now have to fly to Manila, in the Phillipines, and find the Malguena Motors.
Brandon and Nicole are the second team to arrive at the harbor, and Chip and Kim are third, while the moms are just plain lost. CC get to the airport and try to get a major lead on the other teams by catching a quick flight to Manila. Brandon is intimidated by heights, and has a little trouble, but does it very very well. CC find that they are getting lucky and have a 10:45 flight to Manila, laying over somewhere, so they’re off. As Brandon comes down from the bridge, Nicole remarks “Don’t hurt my boyfriend!” (At this point, I have to wonder what she would have said if they’d chosen the rapids last episode.) Chip and Kim pass BN as they are returning from the bridge. Chip invokes the power of Jesus as he climbs, and conquers his fear of heights and grabs the clue. As Chip sees the moms pass him, he states “If the moms can do this, they’re going to win the race.” (You know how people look for the million-dollar quotes in Survivor to determine logically who might win? I’m saying the moms win this entire shindig, right here and now, because of Chip’s quote.) Brandon registers another great quote while in the taxi to the airport, saying “I don’t know much about the Phillipines, I know it’s an island.” …….
Linda does the climb, she says that she’s spaghetti and she’s not sure she can do it. Once she’s asked to just step off, she gets wide-eyed and flustered, and after a brief whine and some cheesy commercial breaking, she jumps off. The three teams of CK, BN, and LK end up at the airport at the same time and end up on the same flight to Hong Kong. CC, on the other hand, miss their connecting flight to Manila and have to go to Hong Kong themselves. The three teams and CC sleep separately, and there’s a joyous reunion at the terminal in the morning. CC are glad to see the other teams, and the other teams are glad to see CC. And we’re even again.
In Manila, Chip and Kim are out of the gate first, followed by Brandon and Nicole, Linda and Karen, and CC are bringing up the rear. Everyone is talking about using the Yield on CC. Brandon actually rolls down the window to yell at Chip, “Use the Yield!” All three teams get to the Motor Shop at the same time, but Chip gets to the Yield sign at the first moment, and CC is yielded, courtesy of Chip and Kim. (Hey…hey…hey, look at my column last week! Huh? Huh? Who called it? Hopefully my masterful editing skill nuance picking up technique will happen on Survivor too, so I can do good in that durn pool. Er, anyway.)
There’s another Roadblock, they have to decorate a Jeepney? Something like that? They put together and decorate something to receive their next clue. CC get to the Yield station and see that they’ve been yielded by their former partners in crime, Chip and Kim, and Colin is mad as Hellspawn. (Some may argue he IS Hellspawn, but that’s not for me to decide.) Colin is standing at that Yield sign, staring down Chip in an “unnerving” manner. You have to give credit to CC though, they’re smart, they watch everyone put together their Jeeps while they are being yielded. Moms can fix anything, moms can do anything, and the moms are out first! They have to take their newly-decorated whatever and find the field behind a giant DUCK. A GIANT DUCK. What a landmark, CBS. I congratulate you.
Brandon and Nicole are out second, and Chip and Kim are out third. The fifteen minutes was enough to put CC back behind everyone. However, nothing stops Super CC and they are out of the garage in a jiffy (Jeepy). Chip comments that CC are strong players, and he had to do what he had to do.
The moms reach the next clue first, and it’s a Detour, Plow or Fowl. In plow, they have to lead an ox around and snag a clue tied to a rope in the mud. In Fowl, they have to herd a thousand ducks from one cage to another, and while it would make for interesting TV watching people running after squawking ducks, it’s not very practical, almost impossible. The moms, and Brandon and Nicole soon after them, choose Plow. Chip and Kim, meanwhile, are in their Jeepy still, and comment that CC are in “kill mode.” And I don’t think Chip’s kidding, if Colin had gotten a hold of Chip’s neck at this point, I think Kim would need a new part, and some money for a funeral.
Brandon and Nic find the rope uber-quickly, and discover they have to travel 120 miles to the Coconut Palace for the next Pit Stop. CC are still fuming about how Chip and Kim backstabbed them. The moms find the rope, and BN and the moms discover that there aren’t any taxis to get to the Palace, so they have to grab a bus together. Chip and Kim get in, get the rope, and get out, only hoping that they can get on a bus without CC, and they do.
And now, the most entertaining portion of the show. Colin and Christie decide to plow. And Colin starts trying to lead the ox around. Christie, instead of helping lead like everyone else’s partners did, she decides to whine to Colin how he’s not doing it right. Colin gets irritated at his ox, stating “My ox is broken!” It was kinda funny watching Colin being dragged around in the mud by the big hulking ox. After a lot of annoyed yelling by Colin, Christie *finally* gets her feet dirty and finds the rope. And it’s a race to the Coconut Palace by all the teams. All four are on buses, and one by one each team gets off their bus and hails a taxi. Chip and Kim and CC are smart, and get off somewhere where they can easily get a taxi. Meanwhile, the moms and BN get off IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. Sheesh. BN hail a taxi first, and the moms get one after them, worried they’re going to be last.
It’s now an insane race to the Pit Stop in taxis. Who’s going to be first? Why, none other than CHIP AND KIM. *throws a party* They win their second leg and get a second vacation. The plucky moms get second place, and Brandon and Nicole come in in third! CC come in in last….but wait….didn’t Phil say there were FOUR non-elimination legs? ….Yes, yes he did. And so CC are still in the game. (In my personal opinion, I think they should have spread the non-elimination legs more towards the front than the end of the race.)
Next week is the finale, and the first four team finale in the history of AR!!! It looks to be exciting, as we see Nicole break down instead of Christie, there’s rock-climbing involved, and an exciting, pulse-racing finish! My predictions are the moms come in 1st, Chip and Kim grab second, CC get third, and the models come in fourth. We’ll see what happens, and I’ll see you next week! Oh, and my e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org, if you have any comments.