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Date Night – Surreal Life 3, Episode 2

by LauraBelle

In this early stage of the Surreal Life season, it’s not clear whether tonight’s “Date Night” theme was designed to pair couples up or drive a further wedge between them. One thing is clear though – two are looking for anyone to be a couple with, two have a big wedge between them and everyone else, and two are there purely for the experience.

The first full morning in the Surreal Life house finds Dave Coulier on the treadmill, starting his day off right. Bridgette Nielsen is cooking breakfast, and Flavor Flav is sitting on the counter flirting with her. He tells her that he is going to fall in love with her. He feels they get along because he is the only one that can cut through her crap. This seems mixed up to me; I think Flavor Flav is the only one that doesn’t understand Bridgette for who she really is.

After breakfast Flavor Flav and Bridgette find themselves alone in the pool. As she lays on top of him he tells her he’s “got the present.” She retaliates with, “Yeah, I feel it.” Later, wearing his viking hat and talking about his pool-time with Bridgette, Flavor Flav says he felt his horns growing. Being that he was without the horned viking hat in the pool, I am pretty sure I know the horn he is referring to.

Ryan Starr decides she wants to have some pool-time too, but instead of walking out there, taking her chances swimming with whoever happens to be out there, or asking a housemate to join her, Ryan calls her friend, Hailey, and asks her if she would like to come to the Surreal Life house for a swim.

The first thing Ryan shows her friend, Hailey, in the Surreal Life house is a sleeping Jordan Knight. They talk about jumping on him to wake him, but decide against it. Jordan’s idea from last week of placing stacked boxes in the doorway to keep his housemates out has failed to deter the two girls.

Arriving poolside, Ryan and Hailey are stopped in their tracks to find Flavor Flav and Bridgette quite close in the pool. Ryan decides she would rather give them their privacy as she doesn’t know what they are doing in there. Flavor Flav and Bridgette exit the pool, and he decides to mess with Ryan a little, as he thinks Ryan’s head is too big. He teases her that they aren’t done in the pool, and that when they are, he won’t tell her. Finally he owns up to the truth, that they are in fact done, and Ryan and Hailey get their chance in the pool. They are still a little disgusted, though, not knowing exactly what Flavor Flav and Bridgette had done in there.

Dave and Bridgette find an invitation stating that tonight will be “Date Night.” Charo will be at a table in the living room, Bridgette will be at a table with a nice view, and Ryan will be poolside. The guys will play round-robin and take turns visiting the three women one at a time.

Seeing that the invite says to dress nicely, and noting that he didn’t bring anything nice to wear, Jordan asks Dave, “What are we supposed to do, wear a suit?” Dave, of course, did bring a suit. Somehow Dave seems to have brought his whole house. Last week we found he brought a sound machine, binoculars, flashlight and a harmonica. He appears ready for anything.

Flavor Flav gets ready by brushing his gold teeth, and says he’ll go conservative and not wear any hats tonight. Bridgette doesn’t need to do anything to get ready. This will be so much easier for her than before her first date with Sylvester Stallone. Asking him out for a date, not having ever met him, she sent him a nude picture of herself. She has already paraded naked around the Surreal Life house, so she can skip that step in her date plan.

Jordan arrives at Charo’s table in the Living Room. They exchange a little banter, and she tells him she has met the pope. He seems taken aback at the whole Charo experience. He was either not born yet or a small child during the Love Boat days, so he obviously just doesn’t get the whole Charo thing.

Dave brings Bridgette a flower, and she seems very touched. Dave is upset that she explains all her odd behavior away by saying she is European. He thinks there are quite a few Europeans in this country that don’t spend their days drinking Jack Daniels and walking around naked. Bridgette thinks Dave is spoiled and needs a couple of slaps.

The worst pairing of the night pits Ryan and Flavor Flav together. He says he least connects with her. In a very odd way to connect, he asks her if she is gay, and she replies no. He then follows by asking if she is a virgin. She tells him this is none of his business. I don’t know what Flavor Flav was thinking, but this certainly won’t make him connect with Ryan.

Dave arrives at Ryan’s table next, and brings her a flower as well. She says there is nothing there for her and Dave; she sees him as more of a father figure. As he is talking to her, Ryan yawns and Dave laughs, telling her he knows this must be an engaging conversation for her.

Flavor Flav comes to Charo’s table, and he ends up thinking she is just a nut. It’s not that I don’t see it, but I can’t fathom why he thinks Charo is a nut, and sees Bridgette as normal.

At Bridgette’s table she asks Jordan if he would consider kissing her. He says he could, but can’t because he has a girlfriend. She doesn’t understand why this poses a problem, adding she has a boyfriend.

Jordan moves on to Ryan’s table and is happy because he thinks she is hot. She addresses him as, “Dog” and he is upset at that. He asks if he didn’t have a girlfriend, would Ryan be attracted to him. She tells Jordan probably not. He then asks what if he was twenty-five? She tells him she might. He appears insulted, and trying to make it better, she tells him, “It’s not that you’re ugly.” I think that’s just what every ex-teen idol wants to hear.

Flavor Flav and Bridgette are together, and they seem to only get closer. He tells her he is her true friend, as they snuggle in a blanket.

Charo loves the flower Dave brought her, and says sometimes little things like that mean more than jewelry. Dave is having a hard time understanding her, and says it’s just like a bunch of crazy words all jumbled together.

When all the dates are finished, everyone thanks each other, and Charo adds this was the best night so far in the house. Flavor Flav makes a toast, and says all of them are the best of friends. I’m pretty sure Ryan disagrees.

At eleven o-clock that night everyone is trying to sleep, except for Flavor Flav and Jordan who are playing pool, quite loudly. Ryan goes out to confront Flavor Flav, telling him that her and Charo are trying to sleep, and playing pool at this time just isn’t a good idea. She tells him when he’s sleeping, she’ll be rude and play pool. Not getting it at all, Flavor Flav tells her he’s not trying to sleep. “But we are!” she retorts. Later, she says she cannot wait to get him out of her life. Yeah, the best of friends.

The game over, Jordan realizes he’ll never have a chance with Ryan if he keeps her up all night, and tells Flavor Flav he’s done. Flavor Flav gives up as well, and climbs into bed. Bridgette gets tired of sleeping in the Living Room bed with its plastic, sticky sheets and climbs into Flavor Flav’s twin bed with him. He is overjoyed when she undresses under the covers, and asks, “What am I going to do with this?” Apparently he finds something to do, as she tells him, “Don’t do that with the teeth.”

I think Flavor Flav and Bridgette would have hooked up with anyone that was willing. They seem an unlikely pair, yet also seem to be made for each other. Ryan and Jordan don’t seem to want to be friendly with anyone, except when Jordan wants to feed his ex-teen idol ego, and it makes me wonder what they thought they would find here in a house of six celebrity strangers. Dave and Charo seem to understand all the houseguests the most, and seem most willing just to enjoy the experience of the house.

I welcome all questions and comments at LB53064@yahoo.com

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