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And your Dog-gy dresses you funny — Episode 4

Okay! I am not a huge fan of the way Beth dresses. I really thought that she picked out her own clothes. Imagine my shock and surprise at the beginning of Episode 4 when we find out that Ms. Beth allows Duane to pick out her clothes for her. (Now, I understand why she wears what she wears.)

Duane (DOG) is apparently picky about his clothes. I’m so glad that biker-metal-goth is hot again. I can’t wait to pull out my leather bustier with the dog collar. (And it’s only a month to Halloween!) I mean what’s next? Someone like Angelina Jolie will go out and get lots of tattoos and wear dark clothing that shows off her figure. (My husband can only hope, right?)

Sorry. I just OD’d on sarcasm there. Anyhoo, Beth and Duane have a true love story. They enjoy being together. Beth says she enjoys working with Dog. I’d be a widow if I worked with my husband. I would also be in jail for murder one.

The big apprehension this week is Joseph “Maniac” Sampaio. He’s a drug addict hooked on ‘ice’ (Wow! Don’t I sound soooooooooo street!). He’s been in lots of scrapes with the law. His record goes back almost 30 years. He’s hanging with his hooker girlfriend, Robyn, but the crew doesn’t know quite where.

So, they case the neighborhood of where his last known whereabouts were. They ask lots of people lots of questions and get some leads that bring them closer. Tim’s gearing up for a fight because this one’s probably gonna give them a fight ‘cuz he’s so strung out.

Beth & Dog get into an argument because he is picking out her clothes. I have to side with Beth yet again. The woman should be allowed to choose her own trashy duds. C’mon, man. Loosen the leash a little, why don’t ya, Dog?

Tim mentions that Beth likes to control everything and gets mad when she can’t. What’s wrong with a controlling woman? I mean, really. I’m a controlling woman and well, my husband says he likes it. (Sure and if you believe I believe that, can we play a few hands of Texas Hold ‘Em? You bring lots of cash, okay!)

The crew gets a lead that Joe’s been staying at the [b]Island Hostel Hotel[/b]. Hostels in Hawaii are apparently very different from the ones in Europe. They are hotbeds for criminals, hookers and drug addicts. Dog also tells us that drug addicts section off their own spots. They’re territorial — like dogs. Sorry! I couldn’t resist. Joseph’s spot is a local [b]Jack in the Box[/b] where he can see all around him, thinking no one will catch him.

Dog & Beth argue again. This time, about Dog’s smoking. Beth says his blood pressure is through the roof and he needs to quit. Dog won’t because it helps him handle the stress of this job. Oh well! Save it for the after-school specials, people.

The crew is hot on the girlfriend’s trail. They trace her to a cheesy apartment complex. (You know, the one thing I hate about this show is that it’s shattering my misconception that all of Hawaii is gorgeous beaches and white sand. I can see drug addicts and hookers at home, or when I visit my parents back in ‘da hood’.)

I’m sure y’all care so much that I grew up on the mean streets of Boston. Well, it was tragic. I know it’s not all about me, but…Okay! I’m just stalling. I forgot what happened next.

Ahhhh…yes. The owner of the complex argues with Dog because his crew is waiting there. He wants them gone. Dog’s all like…well, we got a warrant. The guy was like…these people don’t live her. Dog’s like…well, they hang here so nananabooboo. We’re staying.

Then, they leave to go hang with the kids for a bit. They try to apprehend Joe at night ‘cuz he likes to come out at night. What – is he a bat?

The crew gets a few more leads, but not much else. They go home after midnight empty handed. The next day is Tim’s birthday. Tim is NOT Dog’s biological brother. They have worked together for 25 years and well, they love each other and fight like flesh and blood brothers. Dog wants to plan a party for Tim because he never had ‘nothin’ growing up. He can’t hire a clown. They’re all booked.

In between the party planning, Dog and crew have to catch Sampaio. Sampaio has heard that Dog’s hunting him. He calls Dog and yells at him. Dog goes toe to toe or cell phone to pay phone with him. Eventually, ‘cuz Sampaio is so out of it and keeps calling to argue with Dog, Dog gets the scoop on where he’s at.

Dog keeps Sampaio on the phone for as long as he can while the crew moves in. They get him pretty easily. He’s just ornery ‘cuz Dog took his beer and made him crush his pipe. Awwwwwwwwww! My heart bleeds. Dog tries to set him straight and tells him to quit this s%%t – the drugs. Then, they’re off to Tim’s party.

They trick Tim by saying that Sampaio’s bro showed up to the office. Tim rushes over, ready to fight and finds balloons, cake and a full-fledged birthday party. As Beth says, “it’s not all work and no play.” This team plays a lot and loves a lot.

That’s so true and part of the appeal of this show, isn’t it?

[b]Hasta la next week![/b]. Panndyra out! Email me at panndyra@yahoo.com if you have questions or just want to argue with someone.

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