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We Will Facilitate That FOR Him – The Amazing Race, Episode 9

[i]by atarus[/i]

We start off this leg of the Amazing Race in the sands of the desert. Colin and Christie are up first, and they rip open their clue. They have to travel back to Dubai and go to Wild Wadi. They take off, and Christie states that Colin has a habit of exploding. I’d like to see Colin explode. For real, I mean. Just like, spontaneously combust. Brandon and Nicole are off next, and Nicole mentions that these mosques are like everywhere! They’re like Starbucks! ……*facepalm* Chip and Kim are next, and state that they are the on the honeymoon they never had. Colin and Christie get to Wild Wadi, and surprise, surprise, the hours of operation start at 8 AM. So Colin and Christie go and get some sleep. Linda and Karen leave, and then Kami and Karli leave minus money. They flirt with two guys in a car and get a bit of money. Chip and Kim beat Brandon and Nicole to Wild Wadi, and Chip uses this opportunity to stroke Colin’s ego (like it could get any bigger.) Colin and Christie feel like they can trust Chip and Kim, but Chip and Kim want to help them self-destruct.

Kami and Karli see a nice-looking guy and turn on the charm. The guy falls for it (women, they flirt with you and then take your money, that’s how it goes) and unloads his wallet into their hands. They give him a grateful hug, and he mouths “Twins!” to the camera. You know, if I was unloading that much money AND showing them somewhere, I would have wanted more than just a hug. The teams wake up in the morning and have to go down the Jameirah Sceirah, a huge slide that looks really cool. Brandon and Nicole get to go first ’cause Chip walks right by the numbers.

Brandon and Nicole find that they have to fly to Calcutta and go to a 170 ft. tall monument to find the next clue. One by one the teams go down the slide. Chip and Kim, though, misread the clue and take a taxi instead of drive themselves, and the bowling moms leave the bag with their passports sitting at the bottom of the slide. Eventually Kim rereads the clue and realizes they have to go back, and the moms realize their bag is lost. The other three teams make it to the airport in good time, and the moms get there in time as well, except they have a small hitch. See, they asked a cab driver to show them to the airport. He expected them to pay him, but they didn’t ride in the cab so they didn’t want to pay. Long story short, airport security gets involved, and the moms are extorted out of their cash, much like Colin was. Personally, I think the locals are getting tipped off about this race, because this season a lot of the teams are getting majorly ripped off because they’re in a hurry. It’s weird, eh?

Chip and Kim end up on a flight that arrives ten minutes later than the one the other four teams are on, and they just hope that a miracle will happen. All the teams arrive before Chip and Kim, and they all get in cabs and head towards their destination. Except there’s traffic. Everyone talks about how rundown the city is, except Colin, who makes a snarky sarcastic remark about the culture, and then says “I didn’t want to talk about how ugly it was.” Brandon and Nicole get a flat tire and have to switch cabs. Colin and Christie reach the marker first, choose not to Yield anybody, and can’t use the Fast Forward since they already did it. The teams now have to go to the Globe Brick Factory to find their next clue.

Chip and Kim get a good driver, and while the others are stuck in traffic, they end up second. They also do not Yield anyone, and think they are behind everybody and say “Somebody’s probably already gotten the Fast Forward.” Phil lets us know about how the people that choose the Fast Forward get to be in a surprise head-shaving. One by one the teams come to the marker, and all three of the teams decide that someone else has probably done the Fast Forward so they don’t choose it.

At the Globe Brick Factory, the teams have to make 20 perfectly bricks in the Roadblock. Chip is a skilled brickmaker, while Colin becomes a skilled whiner. All the teams eventually end up together trying to make the bricks. Brandon and Nicole realize this, and then realize that nobody’s used the Fast Forward then, and so they head out to try the FF. Colin starts churning out the bricks, and they finish first as usual. They have to travel by train to the Sealdah Station, where the next clue is. Linda and Karen barely beat Chip and Kim, and the two teams are hot on the heels of Colin and Christie. Kami and Karli start arguing with each other about the bricks.

All three teams arrive at the train station at the same time, but unfortunately Linda and Karen only have American dollars because of their cab driver experience. So they don’t get on the train with Colin and Chip and co. Someone grabs Christie in the tight train space, and Colin gets irritated with whoever it was. The moms try to go to the bank, but realize the bank is muchos faros awayos, and so they exchange money with their cab driver instead. Kami and Karli finish their bricks and head to the train station.

Brandon and Nicole find out about the head-shaving, and they get a deer-in-the-headlight look. Since both are models, they decide not to cut their hair, Brandon says he’d cut his, but he couldn’t let anyone cut Nicole’s beautiful locks. *sniff* How sweet.

The moms start in-fighting because Linda is being too whiny, but they beat the twins on the train. Chip and Colin work together to find the route marker, and it’s a Detour. Heavy But Short vs. Light But Long. Heavy but Short, they travel 10 miles and have to push a taxi a half-mile to a garage. Light but Long, they carry flowers a long way to drop in a river. Heavy but Short is chosen by both teams. Chip again comments that Colin needs to have his ego stroked, and that he will beat himself, but they will facilitate that for him. At this point Brandon and Nicole are way far behind.

The two teams get people to help push their taxis (side note: I loved the little music thing in this part). Colin and Christie finish ahead of Chip and Kim, and they find the Victoria Memorial is the next pit stop. Linda and Karen and Kami and Karli get to the detour, and both teams both get other people to push the taxi and they both sit in the car.

It’s a foot race to the finish, but Colin and Christie win and get first and yet anoter vacation. Chip and Kim are second, Linda and Karen are third, and Kami and Karli are fourth. The sad, solemn music is playing for Brandon and Nicole, and we watch them arrive after dark at the Pit Stop. The sad music and the sad faces are so sad….and then we find out that it’s another non-elimination. (CBS actually fooled me, I was ready for them to be eliminated.) Brandon and Nicole are truly shocked that they’re still in it, and I smiled and was happy for them.

Next week on TAR, the twins get screwed over, Christie starts talking back to Colin (FINALLY!) and the teams “go on the ride of their life.” This is atarus, drop me a line at atarus33@yahoo.com if you’re rooting for Chip and Kim as much as I am, and I’ll catch ya next week!

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