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Meet The Wimpeater – The Amazing Race, Episode 7

[i]by Atarus[/i]

So the show starts out on good ol’ Crocodile Island, the pit stop of the last leg of the race. Colin and Christie are the first to head out, and they open their clue. The teams have to take a flight to Cairo, and then in Cairo they have to find a flight to Nairobi, Kenya, where then they must take a charter flight to a mystery location. That’s a lot of flying in one clue if you ask me. Anyway, Colin and Christie are off, still concerned about keeping their lead over the other teams. Chip and Kim are next, and they talk about how they’re working together now, and that more brainpower than brawn will help them succeed in the race. The twins follow Chip and Kim, and then Brandon and Nicole follow them, spouting off something or other about putting their trust in the Lord.

Next we see Mirna and Schmirna trying desperately to open their clue. It takes them at least a minute just to open the darn thing, and you have to wonder just how they made it this far in the race. Linda and Karen are the last to leave, and both Mirna and Schmirna and the bowling moms think that they may miss the 7 AM flight because both leave around 6:30-6:40ish. But they arrive, and lo and behold, the flight has been delayed. So all teams are now on the same flight to Cairo.

They reach the Old Airport, and then it’s a race to get to the New Airport. Mirna and Schmirna get the crazy driver this time instead of Chip and Kim. Kami and Karli are the first to reach the airport, followed by Christie and Colin and Mirna and Schmirna. While Colin pays the driver, Christie stands in front of the entrance to the terminal to block Mirna and Schmirna from getting in. Words and expletives are exchanged, and then both teams race to the terminal to find that it’s closed.

Colin and Christie get Chip and Kim, Kami and Karli, and Brandon and Nicole together and say that they just want to beat Mirna and Schmirna. Brandon and Nicole say they don’t really feel that way against them, but they’re just going along with the group…thank God they aren’t on Survivor. (Pun intended.) Chip and Kim make the observation that there’s a Colin camp and a Mirna camp, and they’re hoping the groups will end up taking each other out. And while I like the dooflebag that is Colin a bit more than I do Mirna, the bowling moms are absolutely right when they say that the cousins are smarter. Sadly.

Colin almost makes a huge mistake on getting on a Swiss flight to Nairobi which would put them way behind Mirna and Schmirna and Linda and Karen. Mirna and Schmirna make faces at the camera and brag, but eventually Colin scores tickets for the flight too, and all six teams are yet again equal. When they reach the layover stop, Mirna/Schmirna and the bowling moms take a gamble on a flight that would get them a half-hour ahead of the other teams. However, their flight is delayed so they are instead behind the other two teams.

There are three times for the charter flights in Nairobi. Colin and Chip score the first times, and Kami and Brandon score the second flight. Mirna and the moms end up on the third flight. The teams get to see Mt. Kilamanjaro on their flight, which is kinda cool. Brandon and Nicole talk more about God. God, they’re starting to annoy me. The flights land in Tanzania. Colin and Chip grab clues at nearly the same time, and they find they have to take a bus to Mto Wa Mbu. Hurray for African names! Kim and Chip are excited to be in Africa because it’s their heritage and stuff.

Brandon/Nicole and the twins arrive next, and for some reason they end up with the Bus Nazis, who are expecting $200 for their services, while the first two teams only paid $5 for their ride. Eventually they get going, but they aren’t happy with their driver. Colin and Chip both arrive at the next clue at the same time yet again, and they find it’s a Detour. Buzzing or Busy. Buzzing, you have to be covered in bees, but in a beekeeper’s suit, and harvest 2 kilograms (I think? Maybe just grams) of honey. Busy, you have to carry two chairs to an address that could be far away, and then bring the receipt back to the furniture store.

Both teams choose Busy, and while Chip and Kim’s guide gets confused at first, both teams toddle off towards their respective delivery points. The Bus Nazis go on a rampage, and expect full payment before they arrive at their destination. However Brandon stands up to them and says that he wants to get to the destination first, and then they’d pay. The Bus Nazis agree to this and leave Brandon alone. In a contrast, Chip and Kim are treated very nicely, get watermelon and hospitality from the people they delivered the chairs to. Then we go back to Brandon and Nicole and the twins, where the bus has broken down and they’re out of gas. Mirna and Schmirna and the moms pass the bus while it’s out of gas, and Brandon and the twins are frustrated with their drivers. Eventually the bus gets gas, but Brandon has to pay for the gas for some reason. (Extortionist, anyone?) But the bus ends up passing the Mirna bus, so all is well for Brandon.

Colin and Christie finish their errand first, and they have to travel to the town of Kibaoni and find the Kavishe Hotel for their next clue. They trod off, and then the Bus Nazi bus arrives. Brandon and Nicole get into an argument with the Bus Nazis, Bus Nazi hits Nicole, Nicole says some very un-Christian like things, and Brandon is a nice guy, but the Bus Nazi is, well, a Bus Nazi. Eventually they got away from him, though, and headed to the Detour, where both the twins and Brandon and Nicole also choose Busy. (I just have to point out, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Brandon, Nicole, and the twins this entire time…those Bus Nazis were just rude and evil.)

Colin and Christie arrive at the Hotel, where they discover a Road Block! They have to eat a whole ostrich egg, after cooking of course. Colin says he’ll do it since Christie did the caviar, but he has a very sensitive gag reflex for anything other than McDonald’s food. Colin is also egg-breaking-handicapped, because he goes through three eggs before correctly filling the bowl. Meanwhile, Mirna, Schmirna, and the bowling moms arrive and they both also choose Busy for the Detour. Schmirna says that they’ll get stuck in a puddle so they have to go around, and then the bowling moms trudge right through it.

Chip and Kim arrive at the Road Block, and Chip obviously again chooses to do the eating. He breaks his egg and fills the bowl in one try, and you can see the fuses in Colin’s brain exploding as he watches Chip. Chip says he was the “Michael Jordan of eating caviar” but the eggs are harder because you can’t just swallow them. Chip and Colin are having an eat-off, but Chip is a champion, while Colin is the wimpiest eater I’ve ever seen. He decides that cooking the eggs more will make it easier on him, so Chip gets a major lead on him, and finishes first.

The next clue is that they have to travel to the valley’s edge, and use a Flying Fox to travel down to the gorge, where then they must go by foot to the Lake Manyara Lookout, which is the next Pit Stop of the race. While Colin the Wimpeater is struggling with eggs, everyone catches up to him. As Mirna and Schmirna arrive, Christie whispers “Charla and Mirna are here” and Colin looks up with fire in his eyes. At this point I expect the Rocky theme to start playing, and Colin to tear through the eggs, but instead, he just chokes and vomits some more. Le sigh.

Chip and Kim tear off down the zipline, excited as always. They get first place, and win a trip to Latin America! Go Chip and Kim! Colin finishes his eggs first out of the group, and Colin and Christie get a respectable second place. Linda and Karen are the third to finish the eggs and end up third (way to come from behind, bowling moms!). Brandon finishes the eggs next, and he and Nicole wind up fourth place for this leg.

So it’s down to the twins and Mirna and Schmirna as to who’s going to be last. Neither are heavyweight eaters, but they’re both trudging through the egg. However, the twins finish theirs first, and they’re off to the zipline, where they fly in and finish fifth.

So Mirna and Schmirna are the last team to arrive. Through tricky editing, we think that it’s going to be a non-elimination leg, but unfortunately for the cousins, it is not, and Mirna and Schmirna are eliminated. And now a word from my heart on their elimination.

GLORY BE HALLELUJAH!

Ahem. Charla (yes, I called her by her real name, I’m a nice guy, really.) gives a heartfelt speech on how she was just out to prove that she could do things, and that it’s much harder for her, but she still does them. Honestly, I could stand her the entire time…she should have picked a less whiny and annoying partner for the race though.

Again, my tape cut off before the preview for next week’s episode (I need to get my VCR timer fixed) but I’m sure we’ll be treated to an exciting non-elimination leg next episode! As for my predictions on who the final 3 will be, I say Colin/Christie, Chip/Kim, and Brandon/Nicole. I’ve thought those three would be the final three since Bob and Joyce were eliminated, and I still hold fast to that. If you are a fellow Chip and Kim fan, and want them to beat the other teams horribly, my e-mail is atarus33@yahoo.com, feel free to drop me a line. Otherwise, I don’t want to hear from you. Just kidding, all e-mails are welcome. Seriously. Well, until next time!

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