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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

What's Hot On TV Tonight – TV's Funniest Catchphrases

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Tonight on NBC, they have a night planned of TV’s 50 Funniest Catchphrases. I’m going to issue a challenge … just for fun. See if you can name at least one catchphrase from each of the stars mentioned as being on the special. If I get enough people to answer, I’ll publish the answers I get tomorrow. I’ll give you one. “Kiss my grits!”

1. Regis and Kelly. A few weeks ago was Winner’s Week on the show, but today is definitely Winner’s Day, as the guests will be American Idol winner Kris Allen and Indianapolis winner Helio Castroneves. Syndicated, check local listings.

2. Nim’s Island. Jodie Foster does some great comedy, and Abigail Breslin some great adventure. It’s such a good film for young girls to see about being their own hero. 11:00 AM CT HBO Family East

3. Wild Hogs. Four middle-aged men, Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, and William H. Macy, take off on “Hogs” riding across the country trying to prove they’re still young, with hilarious results. 12:50 PM CT Starz West


4. The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Here he is again. Here’s Kris Allen, but he ditched Helio and picked up Mandy Moore throughout the day somewhere. Syndicated, check local listings.

5. A Mighty Wind. It’s another of these Christopher Guest comedies, such as Best In Show and Waiting For Guffman, where he directs, writes, and stars, usually along with Eugene Levy, Catherone O’Hara, and Fred Willard, among others. 3:30 PM CT Comedy Central

6. TV’s 50 Funniest Phrases. The 50 wittiest catchphrases to be uttered on TV are counted down, including clips and interviews from Jeremy Piven, Dana Carvey, Neil Patrick Harris, Jean Stapleton, Ron Howard, Andy Griffith, Jackie Gleason, Regis Philbin, Bob Newhart, Penny Marshall, Polly Holly, and Red Foxx. 7:00 PM CT NBC

7. According to Jim. This show, not renewed for the fall, is dumping it’s unaired episodes. Tonight, Jim wants to bond with Kyle over sports, but finds his son has more in common with Mr. Sci-Fi, Andy. William “Refrigerator” Perry guest stars. 7:00 PM CT ABC

8. Reaper. It’s the season finale with Sam trying to trap the Devil to play a game in order to win back his soul.. 7:00 PM CT CW

9. House. A struggling artist suffers from something that threatens his livelihood and even his life, yet takes part in a three drug trials in order to pay his bills. House asks Lucas to pry into the private lives of the rest of the team, including Taub, who has a troubled marriage. 7:00 PM CT Fox

10. According to Jim. Jim receives a monetary reward unexpectedly, and when Cheryl wants him to return it, he uses it to buy her an expensive gift. 7:30 PM CT ABC

11. NBA Playoff: Game 4: Cavaliers at Magic. Game 4 of the Eastern Conference finals series. 7:30 PM CT TNT

12. Diamonds. In part 2 of 2, a U.S. senator’s daughter is killed at an African diamond mine, setting off a series of events in the gem trade, which includes a power struggle at a South African firm, a boy trying to leave Sierra Leone, and a model making a career move in London. Judy Davis stars. 8:00 PM CT ABC

13. Hitched or Ditched. In this series premiere, longtime unwed couples have to decide within one week whether to end their relationship or get married. Tonight, a Charlotte couple dating for four years are surprised when they get an invite to their own wedding. She isn’t sure she wants to give up her freedom, and he then crashes the bachelorette party. Yikes. Run fast! 8:00 PM CT CW

14. Mental. It’s another series premiere as a psychiatrist arrives at his new job and uses unusual methods to get a patient to trust him. He clashes with the hospital administrator, who just happens to be his ex. 8:00 PM CT Fox

15. The Apprentice: UK. Tonight the contestants are asked to sell the works of new artists in an art gallery. 8:00 PM CT BBC

16. Rescue Me. Tommy is haunted by 9//11 and other ghosts, including his dad, brother, and cousin. Sean’s health gets worse, and black Shawn is still missing. Needles and Lou try to convince Franco to enter a boxing tournament with the FDNY, Mike makes friends with Damien, and a young nervous man goes to the bar just after it closes.. 9:00 PM CT FX

17. Real Housewives of New Jersey. It’s a multitude of drama as Danielle invites the wives to a mom’s night out, but the spa party doesn’t sound as fun when the rumors spread and friendships are tested. 9:00 PM CT Bravo

18. Little Couple. In the series premiere, Little people newlyweds go on a road trip across the country before settling down in Houston. 9:00 PM CT TLC

19. Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. In the season premiere, Tori and Dean work on moving into a new house and selling their old one. 9:00 PM CT Oxygen

20. Little Couple. Bill has a special birthday planned for Jen and gives her a new car specially modified for her size. 9:e0 PM CT TLC

21. The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. It’s more of Jay’s goodbye tour as he welcomes Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dwight Yoakam to be his guests on tonight’s show. 10:35 PM CT NBC

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