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Bet Your Life – Don't

I watched this movie from beginning to end. I think I deserve combat pay. I’m going to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because of this god-awful movie. It was terrible. The writing was senseless; the plot thin and contrived, and the action sequences were far too predictable. Yuck. I haven’t been this saddened by a film since I rented [b]Legally Blonde 2 – Red, White & Blond[/b].

This movie was the culmination of the Next Action Star reality series. I guess it fits. NBC took a rating stinker of a reality tv show and made a ratings stinker of a movie to match it. UGH! I want my money back for all of the Matrix movies.

The acting was fine. It’s not like Oscar-contenders were needed to carry this crap. However, Billy Zane as the mad-cap, over the top, bad guy was perfect. He was the brightest light in this dim movie.

Corinne and Sean did a commendable job given the material and the situation. I do hope that they show up on other projects in the future because I feel that their talents were NOT utilized in this picture.

I bet you are wondering what the movie was about right about now, huh? Just so you know, I’m stalling until my Prozac kicks in ‘cuz I’m not sure if my weakened emotional state can handle reliving this thing yet.

Okay, here goes. [b]Bet your Life[/b] centers around Sean’s character, Sonny Briggs. Sonny’s an ex-football player turned limo driver and gambling addict. He owes lots of money to a loan shark. The loan shark wants to kill him. So, he sends Carmen, played by Corinne, to kill Sonny. While Sonny’s trying to head her off, he comes into contact with this guy who has a gold card for a nearby private casino. The guy gets killed by some dude in a helicopter.

Sonny freaks and runs into the casino. It’s owned by Joseph, the freak in the helicopter. He’s played by Billy Zane. He is unbalanced but in a very bady way. Sonny catches his eye, so to speak.

Why you may ask? Well, it’s not because Sonny’s cute. Joseph is a hunter. His prey – humans. (Wasn’t that a movie already starring Ice-T called “Surviving the Game”? That had a plot, at least.) Somehow, Joseph gets Sonny to bet his life. All Sonny has to do is avoid being killed by Joseph for the next 24 hours. If he does it, he wins 2.4 million.

Now, Sonny’s being chased by Joseph and Carmen. Great! He gets a fifteen minute head start. He cashes out his winnings at the casino (I told you he was a gambling addict, right?) Then, he goes to the airport. There’s a car chase, of course. He gets on a plane – to Cleveland. The best line of the movie is when Joseph says, “We’re going to Cleveland. That’s just cruel.” (Sorry, Cleveland, but it was FUNNY)

Cleveland jokes aside, the plane ride was predictable with Carmen catching the same plane as Sonny. Once they land, Sonny takes off in a cab driven by Jared Elliott, one of his housemates from [b]Next Action Star[/b]. They get chased and the cab gets destroyed.

Sonny takes off on foot. He ‘rents’ a camper and both Carmen and Joseph catch him on a bridge. He survives and somehow persuades Carmen to help him win this bet and he’ll split the 2.4 mil with her. She agrees to a 50/50 split.

Again, Joseph finds him, but he never kills him. He’s a terrible shot for someone who hunts people for sport. It’s amazing. Anyway, Sonny finally realizes that he’s wearing a tracking device. Two were planted on him at the Casino by some Las Vegas honeys, one of which was played by another housemate, Jeanne Bauer. It took him over an hour to figure this out. Mensa, watch out! There’s another genius in town.

Then, there’s more action sequences. Carmen finally reads the rules of the game. I’m so glad she was there, ‘cuz Sonny had the rules for hours and never once bothered to look at ‘em himself. You know what they say about men and directions!

Anyway, they learn that the final rule is that the hunted have to return to the Casino at the end of the 24-hours or the prize is forfeit. So, Carmen and Sonny hijack Joseph’s jet because he mysteriously shows up. (GPS tracking devices have really improved a stalker’s abilities. Isn’t technology wonderful?)

Back in Vegas, they somehow get away from Joseph’s cronies, but who cares. By this time, I’m ready to shoot Sonny myself because I’m tired of this movie and I’m wishing I hadn’t agreed to review it. Anyway, Sonny wins the cash, and perhaps the girl. He punches Joseph in the face because Joseph records all that goes on during these hunts for his high rollers to bet on. He then offers him a double or nothing opportunity to try this all again.

Hell NO! I don’t want to see a sequel. If you haven’t seen this movie, don’t. I’d rather watch “Gigli”.

Panndyra -
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