home Archive What's Hot On TV – Oh, ##$ and *#! We're Not Done!

What's Hot On TV – Oh, ##$ and *#! We're Not Done!


The title here is what I am imagining came out of Jaime and Cara’s mouths after they talked the whole way from the pool to Phil’s mat about how they had never come in first on a leg of the race and were about to be final three, only to have Phil hand them another clue and tell them they aren’t done yet. The look on their faces was enough for me last week, but now I want to hear what they have to say.

1. NBA Playoff: Game 7: Heat at Hawks. Game 7 of the Eastern Conference quarterfinal series. 12:00 PM CT ABC

2. Stanley Cup Playoff: Game 2: Ducks at Red Wings. Game 2 of the Western Conference semifinal series. 1:00 PM CT NBC

3. Georgia Rule. Jane Fonda plays Georgia, a grandma to Lindsay Lohan, and she sets the rules that Lohan doesn’t seem to want to obey. Hank Yuloff explains this chick flick in great detail. 2:00 PM CT Cinemax East

4. NBA Playoff: Game 1: Mavericks at Nuggets. Game 1 of the Western Conference semifinal series. 2:30 PM CT ABC

5. Mean Girls. It’s mini Lindsay Lohan film fest, as she stars in this movie as well. What I didn’t know was that Tina Fey wrote the screenplay. 4:00 PM CT ABC Family

6. 60 Minutes. An environmental lawsuit against Chevron because of oil drilling in the Amazon rainforest, efforts in Saudi Arabia to reeducate people that were once loyal to Osama bin Laden, and a profile on a family in Italy that has been in the winemaking business for 600 years. 6:00 PM CT CBS

7. Dateline NBC. Donald Trump makes his first appearance of the evening as he and Tiki Barber inform a family they will be receiving a large sum of unclaimed money. Lottery scams are investigated as well. 6:00 PM CT NBC

8. America’s Funniest Home Videos. No info was given yet again, but suffice it to say there will be clips of babies making a mess, bridal parties falling, and animals doing something out of the ordinary. The clip you think will never win will be the one that does. 6:00 PM CT ABC

9. Sit Down, Shut Up. Larry gives a speech to the school board wanting to get a special designation for the high school, but he really just wants to impress Miracle. Willard wants to conquer his own fear of driving, so offer to teach driver’s ed.. 6:00 PM CT Fox

10. The Amazing Race 14. The remaining teams continue to race in Beijing. Tonight they’ll eat exotic (read gross) Chinese food, including fried scorpion, and come upon the second U-Turn. 7:00 PM CT CBS

11. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.A former army medic gets his rundown double-wide rebuilt to accommodate his wheelchair, and also gets to meet Secretary of State Colin Powell. 7:00 PM CT ABC

12. The Simpsons. In order for Bart and Lisa to attend an exclusive elementary school, Home oves the family into an undesirable apartment. In order for Lisa to fit in, Bart tells the other kids his sister is friends with pop star “Alaska Nebraska.” 7:00 PM CT Fox

13. Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory. Rob gets the opportunity to open his own Las Vegas motel. 8:00 PM CT MTV

14. King of the Hill. Bobby signs up for a new little league and Hank and the new coach experience friction with each other. 7:30 PM CT Fox

15. Cold Case. The first of a two-parter, after the body of the first female cadet at a local military academy is found in a buried foot locker, an investigation shows she was treated cruelly by male cadets, alumni, and administrators of the school. 8:00 PM CT CBS

16. Celebrity Apprentice. The teams create a jingle for a tuna company, as well as a 30-second commercial. Piers Morgan returns again to interview the celebrities that are left before Donald Trump chooses the final two. 8:00 PM CT NBC

17. Desperate Housewives. Bree behaves badly in order to hire a good lawyer, Jackson pops a question to Susan, Tom and Lynette bargain for sex, Dave does his own bargaining, Katherine has to play dirty to get Mike, and Gaby has a deal for Juanita that tests her vanity. 8:00 PM CT ABC

18. Family Guy. Jillian announces she’s engaged to a perfect guy, so Brian gets drunk and gets together with Lauren Conrad. Conrad, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Craig Ferguson, and Audrina Patridge have cameos as themselves, and Drew Barrymore voices Jillian. 8:00 PM CT Fox

19. American Dad. Roger believes he was brought to Earth to be “the decider” of the fate of humanity, and Stan challenges these beliefs. 8:30 PM CT Fox

20. The Unit. WHile Jonas tracks a Russian terrorist cell, Molly is kidnapped and used as bait. 9:00 PM CT CBS

21. Brothers & Sisters. At a critical point in her marriage, Kitty thinks over what’s important while remembering her father’s reckless ways. Ryan finds out something shocking about his mom’s death, then makes a mistake in his relationship with Rebecca. Tom Skerritt guest stars. 9:01 PM CT ABC

22. In Plain Sight. Mary steps in to help a witness who has trouble controlling her three kids. Read my interview with Mary MacCormack. 9:00 PM CT USA

23. River Monsters. In the darkest depths of the Amazon lurks a dinosaur. Legends tell of an evil spirit inhabiting an enormous fish. Taller than a man, it is covered in scales and crushes its prey with a tongue made of bone. Jeremy Wade encounters the legendary Arapaima. 9:00 PM CT Animal Planet

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