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I Love Myself Sometimes! Big Brother 5, August 3rd

The episode picks up right after Diane made her nominations of Jase and Scott. Scott was completely blind sided by the nomination after being so sure that the nominations would be Marvin and Jase.

Scott takes Diane to the HOH where she tells him that she wants him around, and that she nominated him to make sure Jase was evicted. She didn’t want Scott winning POV and taking Jase off. She assures him that he will be staying, and that Jase is going to be leaving Thursday. Scott then starts trying to convince her to nominate Marvin if the POV is used. He says that he is a really strong player and they need to get rid of him. He also says that Marvin would nominate her if he had the chance.

After this, The Horsemen gather in the cloud room to discuss nominations. Scott tells them “we win veto, Marvin’s gone”. He “convinced her”. They are happy about this, and they plan on getting Adria on their side. They think she owes them after they “saved her” last week.

Diane, Nokomis, and Will are discussing nominations. Saying that “if Marvin is the strongest player, why didn’t they put him up last week?”. They must break up the 4H.

Drew and Scott in the cloud room discussing the upcoming veto competition. Scott says that Drew needs to convince Diane to nominate Marvin if the POV is used.

Cowboy and Will are in the Head of Household room. Cowboy spills his emotions to Will. He wants his future stepson, “Chasen”, to enter to house. His birthday is in 12 days and Cowboy really wants to see him. He is incredibly homesick, and wants to see his fiancé and his son badly.

The HG’s go out back to find that an army of ceramic pigs had invaded the backyard. They were to paint the pigs any way they wanted for tomorrow’s Power of Veto competition. Karen was obviously the most excited, saying that it was “like Karen porn”. Will’s pig is going on a date with Drew’s pig, but Will’s pig is slutty so “she may take advantage of him”. Cowboy’s pig comes to us straight from Chernobyl, whereas Scott’s pig is the spawn of satin. It has the words “sellout” and “freak” painted on it.

Will enters the hot tub.
[i]Will: “Yes, I’m so fat! Honestly, I can’t even stand it anymore.”.[/i]
He then begins making “come hither” sexual gestures behind Cowboy’s back.
[i]Will: “ We find Cowboy to be the most unsexual creature in the house, and maybe that we’ve even ever met.” Too funny![/i]

Next up is the Power of Veto Competiton. Scott chose Drew, Jase chose Cowboy, and Diane chose Will.
The comp. Is called “This Little Piggy Won the Veto”. The House guests were sequestered in different parts of the house. One by one they must place coins into the piggy banks of their fellow competitors. They can put any number of coins in any bank they choose. If you get more that 20 coins in your bank, you are out. In the end, the person closest to 20, without going over, wins the POV.

Will is up first. He logically places 12 coins into Jase’s pig, and one into his own. Next up is Scott.
“I love myself sometimes, I’m like MacGyver.”. That’s right! He’s proud of himself for giving Diane 12 of the coins! Cowboy, Drew, and Diane apparently have no strategy, as they give the coins out equally. After this, they must bust their beloved pigs and count their coins. In the end Jase won with a score of 18. He then proceeds to loose his mind on national tv. He stands on the podium and begins making neighing noises and pretends he’s riding a horse. He begins yelling and screaming about how he’s staying, and that Diane should enjoy her last week here.
[i]Jase: “The only way I wouldn’t use the POV on myself is if I were to fall down doing victory laps around the pool, crack my head on the concrete, and for some reason go insane”[/i]… too late.

They then corner Diane in the Head of Household room. They say that they won’t nominate her next week. Scott says “I guarantee on the angel on my back” that he won’t nominate her… Ah yes, nothing spells honor like a tattoo.

The girl alliance then begin discussing the painting on the Head of Household wall (The spy screen). Diane puts on her robe, stands in front of it, and says: “Open Says-a-me”, with surprising little luck. Nokomis discovers the remote in the drawer and Diane reads the instructions.
[i]Karen: “They would never keep that secret, they’re too stupid!”.[/i]
They then begin watching an enthralling game of chess going on between the guys. They can’t believe the guys have been watching them for the past 4 weeks.

Will and Jase begin scheming in the Head of Household room. Will makes up a complete lie for the reason he gave Jase so many coins. He says that he dropped one in and thought it was empty, so he put the rest of his coins in to help Jase out. Jase actually believes it, and the two make some sort of unholy alliance.
[i]Will: “Is this alliance truth or is it false? If the girls come into power, the alliance is false. But if he comes into power, you better believe I’m going to keep playing him like a fiddle!”[/i]

The girls begin discussing the pros and cons of nominating Marvin and Cowboy.
[i]Adria: “If you put up Marvin and get him out, you’re doing exactly what they want, and now you’re their puppet.”[/i]
They actually think that Scott is secretly smart… Oh the laughs just keep on rolling!

Marvin needs a haircut and he gets Drew to shave the back of his head. Scott did a bad job cutting it before.
[i]Marvin: “His head look like a rooster’s ass.”[/i]
Diane begins shaving too.
[i]Marvin: “Go head and do it girl, I just knock the hell outcha if ya cut me.”[/i]
He looks at himself and proclaims “I look like a black super hero.”
Marvin wants to spend time with Diane to bond with her. He hopes that she may not nominate him if Jase saves himself.

Adria and Natalie then make, what they hope to be, their final switch. They discuss recent events and go on their merry way. Adria is going to prepare herself to go all out for the HOH.

The Power of Veto meeting is next.
Scott and Jase are dressed in Will’s clothing. Jase has devil horns and Scott has blacked out his front teeth.
[i]Will: “This man’s ego will just not stop. He thinks he’s this comical, sexy guy. What he doesn’t realize is that he’s about as sexy as a wet t-shirt contest at a nursing home.[/i]
Scott and Jase make a complete joke out of the meeting. They think they’re funny, but NOBODY shows any sign of amusement. Jase saves himself by saying [i]“I would just like to say to all of those who conspired against me, to vote me out. I’ve got two words- Kiss my ass! And in the spirit of all the ass kissing, maybe some of you should start kiss your own assess goodbye, because I’m coming back next week with a vengeance.” [/i] Diane is forced to put Marvin up in his place. The 4H are very confident that they will all stay this week.
[i]Scott: “Look at me, I’m smiling. I’m stoked. Marvin’s out of this house, and the 4 horsemen are safe.”[/i]

~Wumple~

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