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GUG – Episode 1

Victoria Gotti, the daughter of John “Teflon Don” Gotti, is one tough lady. She speaks her mind when she wants to, where she wants to and how she wants to. Hurray!

She’s a strong single mother with three sons – Carmine, Frank and John, from her marriage to her childhood sweetheart, Carmine Agnello. Carmine’s not around. They’re divorced. Victoria talks about how living in the house they shared together is hard. She is ready to get the ‘ghost’ out of her life and feels that she needs to move out to move on.

She hires Mona “Rhymes With Sold” Gold to help her sell the palatial property. Victoria’s sons are NOT happy with this decision. They don’t want to move out.

Too bad, says Victoria and moves forward with her plans to sell the property. She’s got to have some work done to the pool area and the “party room” where the boys threw a kegger a few weeks prior.

The next scene shows Victoria hard at work in the Star Magazine offices. She and her writing partner, Kelli, are pitching an idea about celebrity matchmakers. They offer Victoria up as the ‘guinea pig.’ (Excuse the pun!)

They go and meet with Denise Winston who should NOT be allowed to make matches for anyone. Of course, as a celebrity matchmaker, I guess she doesn’t really put much stock in long-term relationships. She doesn’t listen to what Victoria is looking for in a man because she offers her ED. (More on ED later!)

Victoria invites her brother Peter over for Sunday dinner so that she can break the news of her foray into the dating world with some backup. Too bad, Peter doesn’t back her up. Victoria ends up with her back against the wall and tells the guys to just accept it. End of story.

Well, ED arrives in a limo. Frank goes out to meet him, but he just gives him a once-over. He is NOT impressed. Neither am I.

ED is old, bald and well, he could use some dental work. He’s not the kind of man I could envision with Victoria Gotti (but, hey, I’m no matchmaker, right!)

They go out to dinner. Ed, besides being such a great looker, is well, not exactly diplomatic. He insinuates that Victoria is spoiled. He also tells her that he is intimidated by the Gotti name. (Considering that’s the LAST THING Victoria wanted on her list, I’d say Denise did a bang-up job. I bet her tv credits include “Love Connection.”)

The final straw comes when Ed tells brassy Victoria that’s she’d be really attractive if she softened up her look. Victoria tells him off by saying, “you seem kind of sure of yourself, Ed, but I’m not sure why.” (That is my new favorite line for ending a bad date!)

She heads off in a huff to the limo. She rethinks dating altogether. If that’s what’s out there, I could see why. Anyway, the best had to be when Victoria asks the driver, who has to return to the restaurant to pick up Ed, if he’ll do “her a favor” and drop Ed off near a ditch somewhere and “roll him out.”

Now, that’s good TV.

Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos
–Hey, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried! Reality is better than fiction.


Freelance writer, webmaster of realityshack.com, chief editor at applemagazine.com, contribtor to TechLife News and maketecheasier.com, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.