The Real Really Real Reality TV Network, in an effort to show the public that not all stupid reality TV concepts make it on the air, has released its list of the five worst Reality TV pitches ever.
1) [b]Who wants to be molested by my dad?[/b] Blanket, Paris and Prince Michael want to find someone for their daddy to love. Watch as the chocolate milk and candy flows like the beer on the Bachelor. See stunts performed by chimpanzees. Celebrity guest stars include: Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and much, much more.
2) [b]Surviving Antartica.[/b] A group of ugly, overweight people go to Antartica. They face challenges like extreme cold, foraging for food and building igloos for shelter. Even the host didn’t want to go to this less than exotic locale.
3) [b]King, or Queen Richard[/b] Viewers are enthralled as Richard Hatch and Richard Simmon move into a house together with eighteen other Richards. Each week, a different Richard is voted off until only one Richard is left standing. Watch the hilarity ensue as these “Dicks” go through different challenges. You’ve never seen Sweating To the Oldies like this! (Hint: Mr. Hatch hasn’t lost his penchant for nudity!)
4)[b]I Married Jennifer Lopez[/b] A group of hot, young men share a house together. They are not allowed to watch TV, listen to music or read any magazines containing information about Jennifer Lopez. Each week, a new man is added as Jennifer gets married and divorced again. Watch for celebrity appearances by P. Diddy and Ben Affleck.
5) [b]Extreme Makeover: Rock N’ Roll Edition[/b]. If you’ve watched VH-1’s long running series [b]Behind the Music[/b], then you understand the need for a show like this. Members of 80s hair bands, the 90s grunge scene and disco divas from the 70s all sign on to get a new face and a new lease on life by singing in Casino revues, mostly in Branson, Missouri. Each week two oldies but goodies will compete. The winners will have a talent/beauty pageant at the end of the season. The winner will get a critique by Simon Cowell, elocution lessons from Randy Jackson and style tips from Christina Aguilera.
“Satire is as satire does…” Forrest Chump
——–Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos. (Yes, I really am this insane!)