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The Simple Life 2, Episode 8 – Desperately Seeking Spicewood…

by Stacey

Next stop, Rod and Gun Club Road…..but, first stop, directions! In the middle of hardcore Texas, the girls can make no sense of the directions, the locals, or the city itself. After driving themselves in circles, in sheer oblivion, the girls finally stumble across a nice gentleman, who lets them follow him as he takes them to their missing highway, 35. “Oh…”, the proverbial light bulb almost appears over their heads as they see how simple it was to find…

The Bahm Family, motorcycle mama and papa…plus one. The first thing Paris and Nicole see, the house is currently under construction! After destroying part of the Bahm’s front lawn driving up, the girls meet Mama Bahm and young Tyler. After a quick lemonade with the family, Nicole and Paris take Tyler off to help him with his homework! Nicole manipulates the first project and decides Tyler should ‘rap’ Romeo and Juliet! After a quick rap session, and making a complete fool of Tyler, Boyfriend Bahm (aka Papa Bahm) pulled up on his Harley, and invites the girls out to meet his biker friends! At least a dozen bikers pull up the road, whistling at the ladies in their slutty little outfits.

Out for drinks with the big tough biker men, Nicole somehow once again manipulates poor Tyler, by making him get up on a chair, in the middle of the room, and do his sad little rap! I foresee many therapist sessions in his future!

Paris and Nicole are assigned their next job over breakfast….they have to go meet ‘Jessie’ at ‘Lonny’s’. Boyfriend Bahm (who I guess isn’t a Bahm after all, but I digress…) being a biker and all, is going to set them up with ‘cool’, good-dangerous kinda job, you would think….. Lonny’s is a hair salon, (and Jessie is a woman, much to Nicole’s dismay)! Finally something the girls must have ‘some’ notion about! Position #1, ‘Back Waxer Babes’. In comes a large, hairy, embarrassed man, appearing on TV, having to disrobe, and have 2 selfish, rich, spoilt brats, RIP the hair from his sensitive skin….poor Bama!!

Break for commercial, and have a silent moment for Bama!

Back to the torture….

Screams! Agonizing screams!! Poor, poor Bama! But, Jessie to the rescue, as she yanks Paris and Nicole from this job! No more back waxing for you (what I’m sure started out as funny to Jessie and Bama, may have gone array), instead, they’re going to do a makeover! Very excited, the girls tell some poor, middle-aged woman that they have experience being Stylists…and off they go to get her ready to surprise her boyfriend with a new look for the evening! Bleach blonde streaks…as Jessie calls it as she gives them toner to try to repair the hair, ‘calico hair’.

Next reprimand, no negativity around the customers as the girls bitched and complained about how the toner ‘ruined’ her hair by making it more uniform. Next step, CUTTING?!?! Sure enough, they actually cut this woman’s hair. They applied make-up, much like a true hooker does, teased out her hair, and actually PRESENTED her to her boyfriend. Oh, that poor little couple! (she kinda looked like Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, just with a little less hair)

When Denny, aka Boyfriend Bahm, comes to pick them up, they tell him they’re going to fix the gray in his moustache, since they are such pros now….they’re method of fixing it? They bleach it!

$100, for a day of torturing, and ruining!

What do you do when you finally have money in your pocket…you go buy a clapper because you’re too lazy to get out of bed over and over again (and you’re getting out of bed, over and over again, because you are so high maintenance!)!

1431 miles to go….

Stacey
:shock:

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