Because Americans can’t really decide on who to vote for — Bush or Kerry, CBS and Marc SunBurn, have collaborated once again to create the newest and best reality tv show ever. It’s called [b]Who Wants to Be America’s Next President[/b].
The show will air for fifty consecutive days between September and November 2004. Ten carefully selected individuals will live in a white house but not the actual white house. They will undergo challenges and face difficulties the likes which have never been seen before.
For females: getting past Bill Clinton without being fondled.
Males: surviving a nagging attack by Hillary Clinton.
For all contestants: writing speeches for Arnold Schwarzenegger that include the terms ‘girlie men’ and ‘i’ll be back’.
Qualifications for contestants are pretty simple. Contestants must:
1) NOT have run for governor of California. Sorry Gary Colemen and Gallagher.
2) have been born in the US and be at least 35. (Hey, those are the Constitutional rules. If you don’t like it, try out for American Idol or the Apprentice.)
3) know how to vote. (We apologize to the state of Florida, but rules are rules, after all.)
The winner gets to run in the election against George Bush and John Kerry. He or she will have been chosen by the popular vote already and not some silly convention. Ralph Nader and Ross Perot need not apply.
————-Brought to you by Panndyra, Goddess of Chaos. (The opinions expressed in this piece of SPOOF are for satire purposes only! Thank you for understanding, but if you still need to comment, send your inquiry to firstname.lastname@example.org. I promise I won’t delete it!)——