After everyone reads the note, Sharon tells Josh she thinks that it must mean someone is coming back, as that’s why it said to gather in the Living Room. She figures this will make it a full season with more people coming in, but Josh is still counting on it all being over by March 25th, and thinks they’ll only be gathered in the Living Room for some type of team task. Wake up, Josh. How often do you receive special notes of warning before a team task? Chelsia joins them and agrees with Josh.
Chelsia thinks Natalie is a sweet girl, but she’s beginning to get a ‘tude. She came to Chelsia asking her why she didn’t offer to put herself on the block, and she replied, why should she, when Sheila already has? Sharon is waiting for her period to start, and when there’s a knock on the door, it’s James, not Aunt Flo. James also doesn’t think anyone will be coming back, and since they don’t know when this bell will sound, Chelsia thinks no one should be sleeping in the buff. Can I ask why you would be doing that in the first place when you’re on camera 24/7? They think it has something to do with the Hudson River Virus (so much for Carrie’s wishes that the note would end this talk), and James suggests if you lose an upcoming comp, you’ll leave the house immediately.
James goes outside with Matt and gets sarcastic with him, as Matt asks if he has it in for him. James replies he’s in a secret alliance with Allison and Ryan. It’s unclear whether Matt picked up on the sarcasm or not. Elsewhere, Sharon and Chelsia are deciding Natalie has the sound and same nose as a ferret.
All sorts of crazy talk ensues after this, as Allison offers James a pack of cigarettes and a week’s pay to keep her there. They shake on it, as she then says she’ll have to sleep with Adam to get the cigs. I ask you, is that really worth it? I mean the sleeping with Adam part, not the week’s salary. It kind of makes you wonder what types of things she did to maintain her gambling habit, doesn’t it? She then goes and tells Sheila she wants to set her up with her dad, but admits her dad isn’t as good as her. And how is that being a good friend? Maybe she figures if she has to sleep with Adam, Sheila has to sleep with her loser dad.
Allison keeps talking crazy. She figures America has three lifelines in this BB Game. Save a couple, evict a couple, and bring a couple back. Why are those “lifelines?” She figures the no washing machine and drinking out of bowls thing was all America’s idea. Has she forgotten participating in the HoH when they decided on those things? She also claims she only watched one season of the show, and thought it was challenge-based, not realizing that much manipulation was necessary. Right. That’s why the gambling addict signed up, to do challenges, instead of using her poker face.
Natalie wants to throw holy water on the boat room after Allison and Ryan are evicted, hoping it will get rid of the curse of whoever’s sleeping in there gets evicted. Allison and Ryan are playing chess, and she tells him it’s better for them If James and Chelsia go up, as they can use the final three thing on Adam to save them. Wait until they find out Adam and Sheila will be up against them. Oops. Almost as if his ears were ringing, Adam walks in.
Natalie and Sheila are discussing that they hope James and Chelsia are put up when they hear Chelsia scream. They go running in only to see her repulsed after seeing Adam’s uncircumcised penis. He sits there after with his hands down his pants, literally playing with it, as she tells him she doesn’t want to pull on his hood. And that there is reason I can only manage to finish one piece of pizza tonight. The site of him and his hands in his sweatpants moving his junk around will stick with me much longer than I’d like it to. He then sticks his hands on Chelsia when she tells him to wash them. Natalie wonders why the guys can’t just take care of themselves in the shower instead of doing that when others are around. Amen!
Allison pesters Josh, wanting to know why he’s so mean to her now and why he won’t talk to her. He replies he made a promise to the house to just ignore her. She persists, and he tells her she’s manipulative and he could call her out right now on all the lies she’s told since day one. He also throws in he doesn’t know why she’s trying to set up Sheila with her dad, as who would want to go out with the “creator of the beast?” She’s kind of unraveling right now like BB8 Jen, and the way she is unfailing in her attempts to deride everything tonight, it almost reminds me of the cigarette hiding night. The whole pester, pester, pester, then ask why you get burned type of thing.
Still not backing down, Allison wakes Matt up to tell him Natalie is going around telling everyone what they talk about privately. He then scoops up Sharon and takes her to the HoH for a “nap.” Upstairs, Matt talks about not wanting Natalie’s skin to touch him in bed at night, prompting Sharon to mention that’s the good thing about sharing a bed with a gay guy. Matt thinks they’re the strongest couple in the house, not him and Natalie, but him and Sharon. They were both worried when Allison nearly won the PoV and was shouting “I got it.”
Josh comes to check in on Sharon and Matt, but leaves, and so do the feeds. Maybe they figure we’ve had enough sex to last us for a few days. Josh joins Natalie and James in the sauna, and asks James what he’s going to do after the show. He says he’ll do the Early Show, then go back to L.A. and work in a bar long enough to get a paycheck, then hit the open road again with his bike. Josh says BB came at a perfect time for him, and it did for Natalie as well, as her father was wanting her to join the military to get medical coverage and the cutoff age is 30. Or … she could have gotten a job with medical benefits. Just saying.
We get the feeds back on Matt and Sharon just long enough or him to tell her her arm pit smells good. Boy, he’s got all the lines, doesn’t he? They talk about Natalie, then, and Matt says she can’t just listen to a conversation, she always has to participate. Apparently he must feel women should be seen and not heard. He seems to keep moving closer to Sharon, but doesn’t make any moves, but this is more enjoyable to the sauna conversation as Josh has left the sauna and, and Allison has joined the conversation.
Allison figures she’s had the most airtime of all the HGs, since she’s been in nearly every argument. Ugh. Can’t take any more of this, and neither can James, as he tries to get into the DR, but is denied. Allison tells anyone that will listen not to ever get a gay guy made at them, as they’re very dramatic and will ripe you to shreds. She then moves on to haranguing Sheila again, but it’s really just a rehash of other conversations, the than a discussion of the word asinine.
Matt and Sharon have left the HoH, and Josh is now up there listening to the music and crying. When Sharon enters to check on him, he says he’s just homesick. To perk him up, they start talking about how much of a liar Allison is. Matt has gone outside with Ryan, and is telling him to keep Allison’s mouth shut. He doesn’t let Natalie make any of the decisions. Dutifully, he goes in to talk to Allison, telling her he figures James and Chelsia might be going up, and he thinks he can sway the votes in their favor if she lays low. She whines at him, saying it’s Josh that always starts it. She also claims people in the game are intimidated by her, prompting him to roll his eyes. Y’know you have to feel for the guy. He finally gets some freedom from Jen for awhile and he’s stuck with this.
Ryan then heads back outside to report back in with Matt. He tells him he had his talk with Allison and told her not to talk to anyone and not start shit with people. He blames it on Josh, and Matt wonders why he thinks he can talk to women like that. Right. Josh shouldn’t talk badly to women that are lying to him in a game, but Matt should let women give him blow jobs in a game to get ahead, pardon the pun.
Sheila, Natalie, and Josh gather to discuss Allison, and Sheila says Allison keeps telling her she supports her in the game as she needs the money the most. Josh explains he only has $5 in his bank account, so he needs the money just as much. They talk about Allison now believing her own lies. Natalie calls Allison’s pity party a joke, as she did it to herself with all her lies. Sharon joins the conversation, agreeing, and when Allison’s use of the word “asinine” comes up again, Natalie asks what that means.
Chelsea’s in the hot tub, standing, and as the water splashes around her, Ryan asks her if that’s her vagina making all that noise. This leads to a discussion on how Natalie can do that, and they relate it back to her abortions. Chelsia than admits to three abortions of her own, and says she knows women who have had six or seven, as they use it as a form of birth control. And what do you call it when you have three?
Next, they rip on Matt’s weird eye, and Ryan says they can’t call him on being Crooked Eye Matt, or he’ll kill ’em. Ryan seems to enjoy looking at Chelsia a lot. He now notices she has a hickey on her neck, and she then turns to James and tells him she hates him.
While the outside group has a conversation about Rocky Horror Picture Show, Sheila sits inside reading the Bible, while Adam lies next to her. The cameramen are apparently as bored as we are with his BB group, as they go from her reading the Bible, to the quote about “suffering” that is posted, and then to a closeup of Adam’s face. I love it when the cameramen have fun.
James is inside listening to Allison whine about how hard she has it again, and Matt walks in, prompting James to ask him if he wants to be in their alliance. Chelsia comes in and strips down to her underwear, prompting Matt to tell James no wonder he has a woody all the time. Allison then crawls in bed with James and Chelsia when they ask her to come play with them. Covers are pulled over all of their heads, and you can imagine what they’re doing after they ask her to take her retainer out. Ryan strolls through, asks “Menage?” and they tell him to join in, but he passes.
The oddest comment of the night award: Allison hates conflict.
Everyone is being called to the DR separately, and when they come out, they’re totally freaked out. Most people are in bed freaked out about the whole thing, as they think the siren is going off tonight since they were asking about it in the DR. Josh is the most freaked, as he prays to help him lose the evil in the house and stay another week. He’d also like to lose 10 pounds. I ask you the same thing I did last year with Amber. Does God really care if anyone wins BB?
Natalie goes to the HoH to tell Josh that Allison was masturbating James and Chelsia so that she could get their vote. She figures she’ll give Matt a blow job next for the same reason, but it won’t work and she’ll look like the bigger slut. Are there really variances to that term? Natalie also thinks Jen and Parker are coming back when the siren goes off. Josh shares the information with Sharon and grabs her Bible. He’s going to meet Natalie with her Bible, and the plan is to rid the house of evil. Hey, wouldn’t a great twist be for Amber to come in went siren sounds? I haven’t seen enough sweats this season.
Josh and Natalie get water and bless it, then start praying together. They take the water to the doors in the house to stop the evil from coming back into the house. Chelsia comes out and joins them. Josh comes out, too, but he’s completely naked. They go outside and bless the things in the backyard, and Josh announces he’s getting hungry. Natalie and Josh start reading the Bible together, and Matt walks through announcing he just “jacked off.” Only in this house.
I couldn’t make this stuff up. I just couldn’t. Natalie and Josh make tinfoil hats to keep the aliens from getting to their brains. James now decides he should jack off as well, and Natalie and Josh come in to bless his bed while he’s doing this. He gets up and joins them, still with a sock over his penis, as this is what he used, supposedly, to not get it on the sheets. Natalie thinks she lives in a house with a bunch of sick people, and James refuses to wear a foil hat. That has to be either an oxymoron or irony, but I”m not sure which. Chelsia joins in and puts a silver salad bowl on her head.
Everyone awake goes outside, and Adam joins them as well,saying he already jacked off earlier. Think of the lengths past HGs have gone to to do that, and now it’s just being done regularly. I think Howie needs to come back and show them how it’s done. James takes off his sock, but is now hidden in a blanket, and smells it. He’s asked if it smells like asparagus, and it leads to a conversation of whether the guys have “tasted” themselves. James slaps Matt with the sock.
Josh sits in the hot tub alone, praying. Praying to win the game, the money, etc., promising to share it with his friends, family, and boyfriend, and he promises not to piss it all away. At this point they could give him a fiver, and he’d double his money. He also prays for a good night’s rest and a flatter stomach. Hey, if that was all it took, I’d be praying every hour on that one.
After this, Josh goes inside and does some Jedi drilling, sitting by himself, obviously very stressed out. Everyone else is in bed, and eventually he joins them. I’ve said it before; I’ll say it again. It’s not the same as my All Night Dick.
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