Okay, let’s hope we’re through with the uncomfortableness of the first half of the day. I just want to be done talking and arguing about Amanda’s dad. R.I.P.
It only gets more weird, Folks. Dinner is being prepared, and as Amanda comes out of the sauna with huge rollers in her hair, she stands and squeezes her butt for people to notice it, then gets mad at Adam for making a crack, saying the rollers can only make her look better, and for some reason he is being punished, doing pushups.
Here’s shocking news. Natalie used to work at Hooters.
Sheila would like plastic surgery, and thinks Dr. Will is the perfect candidate to do it, and he can then do it on Dr. 90210. James gets on her case about being an actress, and she tells him she knows where he’s going with that. He counters that he left his emotions at the door, as there’s just no room for that here. Allison emerges just then from cleaning the toilet and announces that she cleaned 20 boogers off the back of the toilet. James looks at Sheila and tells her that’s her partner’s doing. She passes by that, for once, and talks about James’ great attitude instead. Is this an all-new Sheila? He asks about her ex, and she says he is in Joan Jett’s band, and is married and living in Jamaica. Apparently it’s not Scott Baio they’re discussing.
Discussing her book, Sheila again says this is only to get publicity for the book and also says her ghostwriter is getting 50%. James talks about knowing a Korean couple that wrote a book on power yoga, and he was helping them shop the book before he went out on the road. Sheila talks about her acting and says no one ever took her seriously with it, because of Penthouse. James admits to doing some acting in the past as well, but says he couldn’t get into it, as he didn’t like messing with people’s emotions. But … you choose to then do BB? He makes a tie-in, saying he’s noticed how people have changed in the house, which has Sheila saying three era a bunch of “batshit crazy” people in the BB house this year. “Hi Pot. This is Kettle. You’re black.”
The talk goes back to BB, as James says what’s good about having HoH is these shower, the power, and escaping the fights. They talk about getting booted, then flying to NYC for The Early Show, then back to L.A. for House Calls and People Magazine. Sheila mentions she didn’t go through the normal audition process, as they were looking for an older woman to shake things up a little. She answered a Craigslist ad, but she didn’t know it was for BB. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it hysterical that BB found some of these people on Craigslist. Sheila also says Evel Dick isn’t her type, but Dr. Will is. To each his own.
Absolutely nothing of major importance goes on for quite some time here, the eating of slop, shaving chests, playing basketball, etc. Allison makes an interesting statement, though, noting that the guys in the house seem to be in charge. I have to say I’ve noticed the same thing. The girls seem to let the guys make the decisions over who to evict, nominate, etc. They’re setting womanhood back fifty years! All they need is a nifty apron and Amanda’s high heels, and we’ll have a house of Mrs. Cleavers. As if to exemplify the point. Natalie thanks Matt for being nice to her today.
Amanda seems to be worried being on the block. She tells Allison she won’t nominate her again, then talks to Ryan with the same, saying she hasn’t been campaigning. He thinks he and Allison are the swing votes this week. It’s not that that has Josh worried, though as he tells her if she were a bird, she’d be a “cock-a-tease.” Then they dance together. Alrighty. Alex is busy with Natalie tossing slop on each other. After, Allison plucks Alex’ eyebrows for him. The fun ends when BB gives the house beer and wine.
It’s happening again. Natalie chugged a beer upon request, but won’t do anymore until Show-time starts. Sigh. Everyone is planning a group bubble bath for that time as well. No more beer pong. This year we have a drinking game that includes stripping. Natalie and Chelsia will strip and the guys will pay them with fake money. Josh will be the host. Whoever gets more money gets a back massage from the guys. I don’t want to know anything about the “Posing Pouch” that Adam brought with him and that Josh is wearing over his regular underwear, claiming a lack of junk is making it not totally filled.
Josh goes to change and comes out wearing a pink shirt and the posing pouch, with just a thong on underneath. The two girls change as well, and are now wearing men’s black shirts and long black socks. Interesting. The girls strip together, with the names Natalia and Gretchen, and it’s a very strong R rating on this one. Josh even gets in on the action a little, I suppose he can’t help himself. Lots of lap dances, including on Ryan (man, will Jen be pissed), and then Natalie and Chelsia kiss, with the guys shouting for them to make out.
It only gets more wild after this as cucumbers and whip cream come out. Natalie quite enjoys the cucumbers in two different ways, I’ll let you figure it out, and James and Chelsia enjoy the whip cream … off of Natalie, as both girls have their tops off. I’m just reporting it.
After, Natalie is declared the winner, and she adds that she hopes her dad isn’t watching, as she’s never made out with a girl before, and Chelsia is absolutely shocked about that. Natalie seems to be more comfortable topless, not putting her top back on, and everyone begins jumping in the pool. Josh has no clothes on, and the other guys are in their underwear. Natalie and Chelsia go topless and play chicken in the pool. Natalie wins, but BB stops the fun, telling them to knock it off. The two girls apologize to their family and friends and make out again, as Natalie says she’ll try anything once.
This turns into a full out orgy, with everyone making out with each other. Matt and Chelsia, Matt and Natalie, Chelsia and Josh, Natalie and Josh, Chelsia and Natalie and Josh, Sharon and Matt, Chelsia and Alex. Ryan is out in the fun, but refuses to participate. Sheila, calling it porn, is in the kitchen watching, with Allison and Amanda. Adam even gets a little from Chelsia and Natalie. Sharon refuses to kiss the girls, and Matt refuses to kiss Josh. Matt also refuses Natalie, who chases him around trying to catch him, and Josh comments, “That beaver is hungry!”
The party’s over, and everyone showers. Too bad it’s not a cold shower day. Sheila must have felt she was missing out on something, as she tells James she will make out with him sometime before she leaves. Party pooper Amanda starts talking about STDs.
This all leaves everyone a little unsure now about the plans for eviction. They all thought they wanted Matt and Natalie out, but everyone just had entirely too much fun. Chelsia tells Allison she has other concerns. She’s worried James will now think she’s into Matt, but she really likes James, with the talks they have every night. Yet, why was she put with James to begin with? She starts to worry about setups and is just very confused.
The guys are talking outside, and Matt again says he’s trying not to hurt Natalie (apparently that’s why you let a girl give you a blow job … to let her down easy), but he’d really love to “bang” Sharon. James wants Chelsia. They also take over Parker’s job rating the girls. Matt loved Chelsia’s legs tonight. The talk returns to the game as Matt refuses to campaign against Alex, and thinks Amanda is campaigning. He is starting to wonder if Operation Condor is aimed at him. He wants to go remind Allison of all the stuff Amanda has done to her so far, hoping that will help the vote.
The talk goes to next week as well, as Josh worries about not being able to play for HoH next week, and knows that makes him a target, if not even backdoored. He also worries that he’s been left out of the strategizing being holed up in HoH. Everyone is wondering why Josh and Amanda are suddenly close. James says he’ll do anything to stay in the house, even break his hand thinking no one would want to evict someone that’s injured. We know the guy is homeless, but he keeps telling us he wants it that way. Now you have to wonder about the truth behind that.
The guys discuss Alex, and how “by the book” he is, being that he still lives with him mom, and his grandma lives downstairs. Matt says he knows Alex owns his own DJ company, as he promised him a job if he moved out to L.A. He also knows Alex’s father left him money. Adam didn’t know any of this, and that surprises Josh, how out of the loop Adam is. I’m telling you, he’s Zach II.
James still says he’ll do whatever he needs to to stay. He even says he’ll cool it with Chelsia for now, as it seems that their relationship is a worry to others. I don’t think he can, though, as unlike the others in the house, I think he has actually fallen for her, and I think she’s starting to do the same.
The guys come back inside for snacks, and discuss how great it is to be up at this time. They also complain about their mates, with Adam complaining about sleeping next to “Grandma.” I don’t think she’s too thrilled about it either. Matt asks if he wants to switch. Y’know, those wouldn’t be bad couples!
The talk is just random after this about winning the money and cashing the big check at the bank, Parker, and Adam’s booger-wiping. They also talk yet again about wanting HoH next week. They wonder if the season is going to be real short, because of the couples, then guess a couple might be coming back, with the possibility of an all new couple. It’s odd they don’t even guess that maybe it will be individual after this.
Eventually the guys go to bed, and all is quiet except for James who just can’t seem to settle down. What a wild night. I don’t blame him for not being able to settle down.
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