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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

Big Brother 13, Aug. 21 – Saddest Girl in a Sombrero


In truth, every Head of Household competition on Big Brother is of major importance, but certain ones are even more pivotal. The lines have been laid out between the alliances. What started out as newbies vs. veterans has now become Jeff/Jordan/Rachel vs. Dani/Kalia, along with their underlings. After Jeff/Jordan/Rachel had control of the house in the beginning weeks, Dani and Kalia have had it the last three. The question we were left with after Thursday’s live show was who would win the HoH, since we only saw the first few minutes.

Jeff explains it’s a must win for him. The target on his back has gotten a little bigger. If his side doesn’t win HoH, he knows he’s in trouble. The houseguests are asked to run up and down a slippery lane and fill up a huge bowl using a tiny cup. Shelly says over and over again, “for Josie,” meaning her daughter. Dani knows she is a big garget, and that her only way of being safe is if Kalia or Porsche win.

After Brendon was evicted 5-1, Rachel doesn’t feel like she has anyone in the house. Shelly tells the diary cam, “Hey Rachel. Sorry you lost your man, but guess what? I’m here to stay.” Jeff says it sucks, because one of their alliance members is gone, but another one would have been gone if Shelly was voted out. “Boo hoo. Dry your tears; we have to move forward from here.”

Rachel admits Brendon coming back for just a week relit her fire. Dani thinks it’s hilarious that Brendon was voted out three times in one year. Rachel makes an odd comment to Dani that it seems like America did like Brendon. Dani tells her she never said they didn’t. She thinks it’s the other half of Brenchel that’s the problem.

Kalia knows the only way she can protect herself and Dani is if she’s holding the key. Porsche mentions the only way she can keep herself, Dani, and Kalia’s alliance intact is to win the HoH. She wants to prove to everyone she can win a comp.

Going through the comp that is supposed to resemble a dishwasher, Shelly mentions she’s probably the only one in the house that knows what a dishwasher is, as the others don’t do a shred of cleaning. As Jordan slips and slides around, she compares it to running on Crisco. Rachel says she loves a foam party as much as the next girl, but she doesn’t know if she can handle this much foam. As Porsche complains that’s it’s not supposed to rain in L.A., Jeff is trying to concentrate on the comp, but has to make note of the “little cutie” right next to him.

Dani is getting upset that Kalia is going way slower than everyone else. She wonders if she’s actually thinking she had to do the wash. She yells at her to pick it up, prompting Kalia to complain that Dani is a horrible cheerleader. She’s trying to zone out and do her best, but Dani is irritating her. Jeff is in the lead, and Porsche and Rachel are running a close second. Jeff, Jordan, and Adam all complain about trying to see with the bubbles in their eyes. Adam falls hard on his butt, but gets up and keeps going.

Dani is saying it would be amazing if Porsche could finally pull out a win to keep their alliance safe. Jeff feels in the zone. He’s slipping and eating bubbles, but just stays on auto pilot trying to win. Rachel knows she’s either spilling too much or dropping her cup too often, and that it’s allowing Jeff to get ahead. She decides to put all her eggs in Jeff’s basket and starts rooting him on so that he’ll see her as being part of Team Jeff. He finally wins at 1-1/2 hours in.

Jeff mentions it feels awesome to win HoH this week. He’s safe, and Jordan’s safe. He couldn’t be happier. She’s ecstatic and says he deserves it. They can relax now and have a good time and not have to worry about drama. Porsche knows she could be going on the block know and wonders how many times a girl has to win second place before she finally wins something. Rachel looks around and knows Porsche, Kalia, and Dani all seems like they want to kick themselves. If they win, she at least pretends she’s happy.

Although Dani might think she’s safe because of whatever conversation she had with Jeff and Jordan earlier in the week, he’s going to do what’s best for him in the game, and if getting her out is the best, he’s going to do it. Rachel knows her man is going to be deciding who wins, being in the jury house. There was a lot of tension before he left, but she’s hoping that’s behind them, and that her alliance won’t turn on her now. She has no one else and really needs them.

Shelly notes she’s convinced she just sucks at competitions. Dani tells her to the look on the bright side that Brendon is gone forever. Shelly can’t stand the attitude on Rachel with Brendon gone and Jeff in control. Kalia tells them they have to realize Rachel is going to be Jeff and Jordan’s best friend again, even thought she was super-pissed at them for voting him out. She despises everything that comes out of Rachel’s mouth. She is the one person that “can really get me to flip my lid.” Meanwhile, Rachel is saying she’s so over Shelly and has had enough of her little attitude.

Dani tells Kalia she’s allowed to be upset. She doesn’t think she’s safe herself either. Even if it’s just as a pawn, she thinks she’s going up, as she did that same thing to Jeff. While Dani isn’t stoked, she feels good that she made the deal with Jeff and Jordan. She’s crossing her fingers, hoping they hold to their end of the deal. To Kalia, though, she just says she has no control over what happens.

Jeff is the first guy to win HoH so far this season. He tells everyone to put on their fake face and come see his HoH room. He feels great to be back in the penthouse with his alliance. In his HoH basket he has a letter from his niece, and someone has corrected her spelling and put the right words. She is giving him “Brown Spots,” but wants him back. It must be a stuffed animal. Jordan explains he thinks the world of his nieces, and they love him just the same. She takes advantage of her position with him to eat all the marshmallows in his box of Lucky Charms.


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