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Mermaids R Us – The Simple Life 2 – Episode 2

Tampa, Florida – first stop, the side of the road! Paris and Nicole get pulled over by a State Trooper, to the Cops theme song! Paris starts to panic as she tells Nicole she has no license. She mentioned this in the first episode, and I can’t for the life of me understand how she expected to drive cross country, with no license in hand! The officer asks them for their license, registration, etc., which the girls are oblivious to. He then informs them that they have been pulled over for having blue lights on their vehicles (those ones that light up the underside of your car), which is a second degree misdemeanor. Second degree misdemeanor = jail time!

Paris and Nicole can’t believe the officer is serious and that they can get in trouble for the lights under their car, after all, everyone back home has them! Paris is also concerned that this cop doesn’t seem like one of those cops you can flirt your way out of a ticket with (I think they only know how to flirt their way through life!), though does fix her make-up, just to be safe! Mr. Policeman is kind enough to let the girls go with a warning since they are from out of state…got away again Paris proclaims!

Since the girls have no where to live, aside from their motor home, they find a Trailer Park to spend the night in. After flirting with the trailer park owner’s son, who is only 13, they find their spot and are warned of the dangerous ducks!

Before turning in for the night, the girls decide to have dinner…canned soup, though Nicole advises Paris that she doesn’t like canned food. Paris tells her she better get used to it! But, you can’t heat up a can of soup when you have no propane to run the stove (or the heater!). Paris thinks on her feet and decides she’ll heat it up in the microwave….metal pot and all. Fortunately the Trailer Park guy comes to their rescue and tells them they cannot put metal in the microwave…and sure enough, aside from the sparks, Paris has managed to melt the handle.

With pleasant ‘love you bitch’ goodnights, the girls turn in for the night.

The next morning, the girls decide to meet their neighbours in an attempt to get a free breakfast. A kind family finally agree to feed them. After breakfast though, nothing but complaints about the food.

After breakfast and breakfast complaints, the girls are given directions on how to unhook their trailer from their truck. Both girls are completely bored, and not paying attention!

Off to their next job at the Weeki Wachee Springs, who are famous for their ‘mermaid shows’! The girls are going to have to audition for the show, but first they need to watch the show. Many giggles later, they mooch a lunch with the staff of Weeki Wachee Springs. While enjoying their second free meal of the day, the Marketing Manager of WWS asks if they would consider babysitting her daughter while they go out that evening, to help them earn some extra cash. The girls agree!

Mom and Dad show up with little Kayla, and a list of rules; no sweets after 8:00, no cursing around Kayla (NICOLE!), Kayla does not go out unattended, etc., etc. Do I need to tell you that they broke all the rules!?!?

Kayla wants to play ‘dress up’, so the girls get out their kits and do this little girl up (while feeding her sweets at 8:30). After she’s done up, Nicole desperately tries to teach Kayla how to swear! Good little girl, she won’t go along with it at all! So, next on the entertainment for Kayla, a game of hide and seek! Paris and Kayla go outside to hide in the dark trailer park, and Paris suggests they go in 2 different directions, to better their chances on not being found by Nicole – hello, does not go out unattended, remember!?!?

Well, Nicole finds Paris quite easily…but where’s Kayla!?!?! After a large search, the girls seem baffled, and suddenly see Kayla’s parents pulling up! Panic sets in, but mom finds her rather quickly, hiding in the motor home the whole time!

Paris and Nicole are rewarded for their evening’s services with a whopping $10!

The next morning, Paris and Nicole have their mermaid audition; Paris will be a mermaid, and Nicole will be Chester the Sea Turtle!

Paris (or as she’s called by the staff, “Mrs. Fancy Pants”) actually seems to adapt to the poses and swimming rather quickly – must be the modeling career! But Nicole, she’s having more trouble, and finally has to remove her turtle head. In the end, the girls do not make the show, just not good enough!

But, it’s not the end for the mermaids. Paris and Nicole join the mermaids for a night out at Coyote Ugly! Nicole is the first shown on the bar, whipping some poor man on the ass – though I’m sure he loved it! Paris is up next…and the boys are loving it.

How they paid for their Mermaid Outing is beyond me, but they seemed to have a lot of fun!

2473 miles to go…

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