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Expedition: Impossible – Ep 7 – Someone Get No Limits A Show Already!


Before I go into more talk about the clear stars of EI, the men of No Limits, I have to say one thing first. Because I had to rewind it a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

THE COP HAS SPOKEN!!

No worries, Jeff Probst, I am not stealing your catchphrase. Seriously, call off the lawyers. But we finally, FINALLY, now have had a confessional from the female member of the Cops team. It only took seven episodes. Ladies and gentlemen…meet Dani the Cop. Welcome to the show, Dani. Granted, your confessional was really just a description of the team positioning, and if an example of what you have provided the producers, really explains why it took seven episodes to hear from you. Of course, her non-talking head scenes have usually consisted of her solving puzzles and telling her teammates to get their butts in gear. So, not totally useless. Dani. I will not forget your name now, even if we never hear from you again.

Also, before the No Limits discussion, some thoughts on the dominating Gypsies. By the way, I am trademarking Dominating Gypsies as a band name. They are cruising for a bruising. Oooh – first album by Dominating Gypsies – “Cruising for a Bruising.” They are stopping for a view, drinking Moroccan tea with the Berbers, all kinds of signs pointing to overconfidence.

Actually – here is my Dominating Gypsies album:
Cruising for Bruising
Track 1 – the title track. Of course.
Track 2 – Stopping for a View
Track 3 – Tea with the Berbers
Track 4 – Coming Down the Goat Trail
Track 5 – Porn Staches
Track 6 – Not Learning From History (We Never Watched the Guidos in India)
Track 7 – Intense Rock, Paper, Scissors (Shoot)
Track 8 – The Guy Holding the Sunscreen
Track 9 – Six Out of Seven
Track 10 – Hubris Brings Downfall

OK, that’s out of my system.

No Limits continues to be amazing. Incredibly enough, each of the three members have shown moments of incredible awesomeness, and Blind Erik wasn’t even the standout! True, Erik continues to amaze, he scampered up the rope climb and did it better than half of the other contestants. And I am sure he would have done the skydiving if it didn’t also involve reading. But, he was just regular Awesome Erik this week.

Jeff continues to impress me with his ability to be laid back, intense and a hell of a good teammate all at once. But the moment of amazing for Jeff this week was a small one. With Erik out for the skydive, and with Ike injured (more on that in a few), Jeff had to do the skydive. And he did, and that is a great achievement in a vacuum. However, he did one thing that just made me fall off my chair. While skydiving, Jeff whipped out his instructions and read them one last time. WHILE. FRIGGIN. SKYDIVING!!!! He was reading as he plummeted to Earth. So many things come to mind for activities to do while skydiving. Screaming is one. Peeing is likely another. Reading? Not in the top 500!

But Ike is the winner of the Holy Crap Did He Really Do That Award this week. And it started rather pathetically. While stepping off the curb to get in the Product Placement Vehicle (again with the cars, show. Way to be extreme!), Ike turns his ankle. Badly. So badly, that it turns out to likely be fractured. I say likely, because Ike refused to get the x-ray. Why did he turn down such an obvious procedure for a man with a fractured ankle? Because they would be out of the competition. That’s amazing, not only for his tolerance of pain, but for the understanding that there are likely going to be very few Product Placement rides for the rest of the competition. It is mostly going to be walking, if the other episodes have not misled us too much. Last time I checked, walking is the mortal enemy of the fractured ankle.

And yet, there was Ike, finishing the leg. A leg which still had hiking, swimming and climbing. Jeff now has to not only be Erik’s eyes, but he has to be Ike’s nurse. If No Limits survives much longer it will go down as one of the more impressive achievements in the annals of reality competition performances. Ike is an Afghan War vet, with a Purple Heart, and it is only fitting that I sat to write this on National Purple Heart Day.
This made the episode for me, and notice how unlike the show, I am not throwing much to Fab 3. Yes, I give them credit for not giving up. Just a little credit. But their problems, again, were their own doing. They failed to do the challenge properly. They continued to fight among themselves, and the sibling bickering is probably Kari and AJ’s parents’ fault. The fact that they managed to overtake the Country Boys was foreshadowed in the first episode. Chad just can’t hike, and again, I question why they elected to go on this show in the first place.

So, Final Six – Gypsies continue to dominate, No Limits is hobbled, and somewhere in between are the Footballers, Cops, Cali Girls and Fab 3. The final few eps will be to see if anyone can get their act together to beat the Gypsies.


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