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Expedition: Impossible – Ep 4 – Fathead to the Rescue


After that, well, it was snooze city again, or just simply bored and tired. Fab 3 bickering, yep, got that. Although, Keri’s huge levels of bitchiness, and AJ’s whining were excessive almost to the point of amusement. Country Boys being dragged down by Chad – check. Gypsies winning in the most boring fashion ever? Four in a row for them. Blind Erik rocking everything – of course. Female Cop still unnamed and unheard from? Still.

The clock is ticking, E:I. Don’t make me break out my AR1 DVDs and relive what a roll-out first season should look like.

Task 1 – Hike along the mountain ridges for a long while until hitting the 10,000 foot checkpoint.
Task 2 – Turn a bracelet into a rope (really) and attach a grappling hook. Throw the hook into a gorge to retrieve a cage containing a key to use to unlock the clue Whew.
Task 3 – Hike down the mountain to an alpine base camp and spend the night.
Task 4 – Hike (sigh) down the mountain to a farming village
Task 5 – Load a farming plow (in pieces) on a mule and hike up the mountain on switchbacks.
Task 6 – Drive(!) the plow in a Ford Explorer to a, well, a farm.
Task 7 – Plow a field to find the clue in a canister.
Task 8 – Hike, hike, hike, and avoid elimination.

Moments of Impossibility
• The Ford drive? Ridiculous. Of course, how else could this extreme challenge show have product placement? A useless drive up a mountain. That’s how.
• How did they get to the top of the mountain to start this episode? I think we have a deleted scene somewhere.
• Hey, the other No Limits guy is named Ike! Now we know that whole team. It’s only episode 4.
• I am going to grow tired very soon of the “Chad can’t keep up” plot line.
• Did AJ suggest he wanted to sh*t himself? And if he did, would anyone care? I mean apart from his teammates, although I think they are used to dealing with his sh*t by now.
• Cali Girls leader Christina – “We are going to capitalize on their lack of energy levels.” Yep. California
• Cali Girls tab Brittany to do the grappliog hook because she’s a golfer. Finding that logic may take a while.
• I would like someone to record the lyrics to Christina’s “I’m In Morocco and I’m Freezing” song.
• Unsurprising star of the hook task…the Fishermen.
• I’d care who arrived first to the midpoint if it really made a lick of difference. First, the Gypsies earned for their victory, the coveted prize of a three-minute head start. Oooooooohh!
• And, the penalty for the Firemen and Cali Girls for really sucking at the challenge…a tie with teams who didn’t suck at the challenge. Weak.
• Brittany’s take on the last three at the challenge – “Kevin (Fathead) was quiet and focused, I was crying and AJ was cursing and screaming.” Of course he was. Way to break ground for gay people, AJ.
• I had a hard time telling of Lindsay was flirting with the Country Boys or talking smack. Is it the same thing in Kansas?
• One great thing about the show – it is effing gorgeous to look at. Amazing shots of mountains this week.
• Kari being a badass/bitch, to sick AJ – “I don’t care if you’re sick, just plug through it.” Awesome and obnoxious at the same time. Double whammy.
• Lindsey – “I have no idea what this plow is for.” My guess…plowing. Call me crazy.
• Chad and Kelsey struggling put Kansas and Country Boys two hours behind, and if anyone thought the boys would lose a plowing challenge, you do not know your stereotypes.
• Not really sure if Chad should have been allowed to ride the mule. Seemed a bit unfair. Especially to the mule.
• Hey, a Gypsy is named Taylor. Another name learned!!

Order of Finish – Gypsies (of course), No Limits, Footballers, Firemen, Fishermen, Cops, Cali Girls, Fab 3, Country Boys, and Team Kansas (ELIMINATED)

Next week – I assume more hiking. Oh, and Fathead curses. Stunning as that may be.

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