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Top Chef: Masters – Season 3 – Ep 5– You Want Fries With That?


The radio guys find George and Mary Sue to be at the bottom thinks to a boring dish and a salty dish respectively. Meanwhile, Alex, Celina and Beast are the top dishes. Alex for his textures, Celina for providing a dish that one dude said “felt like getting hugged on the inside,” and Beast for the richness of her dish. I fully expected a Celina win – I mean, hugged on the inside? Is there a better compliment for food than that? But Beast wins and gets immunity.

Elimination Challenge – The chefs are told they are cooking for 100 people who will not have utensils. They will make a main dish and a side dish. After going to Whole Foods for ingredients, they are driven in the Product Placement Caravan to Farmer Boys, which I presume is a fast food chain in California. Only in California could you find a fast food chain that serves fresh, healthy meals. Four chefs will cook as the other four work the drive thru, cash register and expediting roles. Then they will switch. Judges enter the store and drive to the drive-thru in pairs.

Bottom line – the Masters stink at fast food service. While the food may have been good, the service was terrible. It redefined the word “fast.” At one point Beast has to leave the drive thru to help bring food out to tables. Of course, that was when Stone pulled up to order. Unibrow elected to do stand up comedy at the register rather than help bring out the food. And, as expected, most chefs spent too much time on their plating and not enough time figuring out how they work in a fast food environment.

First Shift
Unibrow – Banh Mi of Pork and Liver Pate, Chili Watermelon with Serrano and Feta – Dany thought it was really messy and Bert thought that the watermelon was a hit.

Mary Sue – Skirt Steak Quesadilla Diablo, Quinoa Fritters, and Sweet Pepper Garlic Mayo – Damn, that looked good. Bert loved the flavored mayo, and Stone found it to be all good, especially the hush puppy, which he affectionately named after his new girlfriend Dany. And may be her new nickname.

Alex – Salmon Fish Taco with Fennel and Apple Slaw, Butternut Squash Fritters – Alex loses the Battle of the Fritters. The judges think the taco was a bit too small, with Bert considering it to be from the kids’ menu. Stone thinks salmon is the worst fish to use in a taco.

Celina – Lamb, Pork and Garbanzo Wrap with Pickled Cauliflower – Ugh. Stone was right, it’s more of an unwrap. Bert goes deeper and considers it to be having an existential dilemma. To be a wrap, or not to be a wrap. Celina loaded her beans and meat on a tiny tortilla, which looked like a pancake. Bert was right – it just needed maple syrup. Except then it would be messy and really gross.

Hush Puppy and Stone go inside and she thinks she’s doing pretty well on their date now. The chefs switch and the service ain’t much better, in fact, it may actually be worse.


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