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Top Chef: Masters 3 – Ep 3 – Bugs? Wait, Am I Still Watching Survivor?


Quickfire Challenge – Well, cook bugs. Yum. Judging with Stone, even though he really doesn’t eat the bugs for the most part, are the creators of “Man, Woman, Wild” – Ruth England and Mykel Hawke. Since we already have a Ruth, they will be Mr. and Mrs. Bug.

Beast – Tempura Fried Nightcrawlers with Elder Flower and Herb Salad – Mrs. Bug hysterically admits to putting “disgusting things” in her mouth while married to Mr. Bug. There is a dirty joke here somewhere. Mr. Bug likes Beast’s bug salad.

Unibrow – Tempura Fried Crickets, Sunchoke and Carrot Puree, Blood Orange Vinaigrette – Mrs. Bug loves the puree, and Mr. Bug loves the taste, if not the presentation. Stone is amazed Unibrow made that puree in such a short amount of time.

Celina – Soy Crickets with Salsify Salad – I loved the Soy Crickets’ debut album “Salsify Salad.” The title track was a revelation, and you can dance to it. Mrs. Bug liked the look, but Mr. Bug wanted Celina to remove the legs.

Suvir – Himalayan Jungle and Market Salad with Live Hornworms – Suvir provided a torch for them to cook the bugs themselves. Mrs. Bug calls it a cop out and she is right to a point. Mr. Bug goes along, breaks the worm in half, torches it and then stabs and jabs it. Um, ew.

John – Grilled Scorpion with Smoked Poached Egg and Oyster Root – It actually looked pretty good. The egg gets some praise.

Mary Sue – Thai Sunchoke Salad with Toasted Beetle Vinaigrette – Stone complimented the crunch, and Mrs. Bug liked it.

Traci – Salad with Chipotle-Dusted Fried Scorpion and Aloe Vinaigrette – Another salad for Traci, she’s turning into Salad Woman. Traci is to salad as Jamie is to liquids. Mr. Bug invents the word “swole.” Or maybe not. Mrs. Bug found the aloe to be bitter.

Floyd – Omelet of Nightcrawlers, Amaranth, Roasted Shiitakes and Bacon – Bacon makes everything taste good.

Alex – Angel Hair with Beetles and Flowers – Mr. Bug likes it, and Mrs. Bug loves the contrast between the crispy beetle and the soft pasta.

George – Hornworm and Coconut Soup with Lime, Lemongrass, Ginger and Arugula Flowers – This looked and sounded so gross, it felt like it belonged in the meal from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Stone tried to eat it and made a grimace that said it all.

Botton TwoSuvir and George – George’s was awful and Suvir’s wasn’t really the challenge.

Top TwoUnibrow and Mary Sue – The strange Unibrow wins for his dish, but I was surprised to see those both in the win. I was expecting Alex to be up there for the immunity win.

Elimination Challenge – Make a 10 course tasting meal as a group for a charity fundraiser. The winners will be decided by whose dishes are purchased at $100 a pop by the most diners. The Critics will select the losers. Along the way, the chefs lose their water, half an hour of cook time, and their entire wait staff. Beast and Unibrow have a ridiculous battle over who will organize the group. Really. I just kind of zoned that crap out. Judges are Bert, Dany, Stone and Alan Sytsma of Grubstreet.com, and Bert’s former intern.


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