Welcome to the episode of Top Chef where people forget that this show is a competition and not one, but two people quit the game. As it turned out, the worst dish did not go packing – and the amusing thing is that the creator of that worst dish was the same person who was sent away last year.
First Quitter – Seth. Now, first things first, good riddance. I really had no desire to see him on my TV screen anymore. The Seth Is Crazy Tour made its final stop at this Quickfire. Seth was quite excited to see an ice cream sundae challenge, and I wholeheartedly agreed. I could happily live my life if a dish of ice cream awaited me each day. This challenge was brought to you by Breyer’s Ice Cream as indicated by the 800 cartons of ice cream displayed for use. It was obvious to everyone except Seth that Breyer’s would only be sponsoring this challenge. Why would they sponsor a challenge where someone used a different ice cream formula?
However, Seth not only thought he would get to make his own, but when he found out he couldn’t he devolved into a symphony of sighs and gestures. Again, this 33-year-old man began behaving like a combination between a mental patient and a four-year-old.
It continued. As a result, we as the loyal viewer got to see something we never do – behind the scenes action. The chefs head to the Stew Room while the production crew sets up the kitchen for the challenge. While there, a never-before-seen producer briefs them. Judging by what we see, chefs are allowed to ask questions, deliver gripes, and prepare in various ways for the challenge, and they are there to help them be best prepared. Also, chefs are allowed to bring some items from home – however, if they toss them of their own volition, they are S*** outta luck.
It seems Seth tossed some paper cups in the trash at a past challenge and is now upset that he can’t retrieve them and use them. The producer pretty much tells him that it was his own fault. HH speaks for us all when she says that this latest outburst was about paper cups. Paper Friggin Cups. Seth decides to walk out of the challenge. Zac describes his tantrum as calling for his passport, his cell phone and demands to leave. Then he says that poof, he was gone.
In actuality, he wasn’t walking off into the crowd, a la Keyser Sose. He was collapsing from anxiety like Verbal Kint. We get a prolonged sequence of Seth lying on the loading dock getting treated. The chefs all raise their hands (and Danielle, her feet) in approval when Elvis tells them that Seth is no more for the show.
Second Quitter – Malika foreshadowed her decision to leave the show a couple of weeks ago when she talked about it back at the house. This week, she whipped up arguably her best dessert so far on the show, and proceeded to stun Elvis, Gail, Theoden and Tru Executive Chef Gale Gund by falling on the sword to allow Heather C to remain in the game. Because clearly Heather C was going home based on the televised criticism.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – if you want to leave a reality show that you chose to go on…then go. I don’t want to listen to you whine for more weeks that you don’t want to be here. Go. It’s not like Bravo producers tracked down Malika, put a gun to her head, and demanded she go on the show. It’s also not as if this is a new show with a formula not yet known. She knew what she was getting into. I get that Survivor, Amazing Race, Top Chef, Project Runway and others are much harder physically and mentally for the contestants than what we see. However, Malika stated that she didn’t like competing with food – and that’s the darn premise of the show! Also, she talked about missing her kids and going home. I get that – and I know that is probably really hard, however, she’s not going back now. She’s going to be sequestered like what happens every season. Might as well stay and try to win the prize money.
Lastly, I want to give a shot over to HH, whose bitchiness has amused me up until this point. After she lost the win to Morgan, she unleashed a whole heaping portion of sour grapes on him. It boils down to this – HH volunteered (we see it on camera) to make the intricate showpiece dessert for the team challenge. By doing that and making her own dessert (all chefs had to do that), she just assumed she was going to win the challenge. Not so. Morgan knocked his out of the park and won despite having immunity. HH was bitter and lashed out at him for having done more work (that she volunteered for) and vowing to not help anyone else again (pity whomever has to team with her from this point on). I have two words for HH here – Shut, and Up.