Another expanded episode of this new show – presumably to add in some patented Top Chef bus throwing and Stew Room fireworks. Interesting that this season of Just Desserts has already had more fireworks than the entire DC edition of Top Chef: The Original Series. We have Crazy Seth to thank for that as he has been the constant in basically every dispute so far – other than Morgan and Malika’s weird “Don’t Call Me Shaky” exchange. I’m with Malika, there is only one shaky in the world! (NSFW)
So another episode of Just Desserts gets hijacked by Seth’s crazy. Again, we had a couple of nice challenges, some enthusiastic kids and some really delicious looking desserts. But instead we have the whole second half rotating around the giant mass which is Trainwreck Seth. And don’t think you’re off the hook yet Malika, you hijacked the first half with your incompetence. That’s right, even though you’re pretty and have a backstory I truly feel for, I have officially turned on you. And Yigit – I found him smug and condescending this episode too.
OK – first, about Seth. In this one, the crazy is really just residual crazy from the last episode. He doesn’t really get into it with anyone until he’s attacked. However, it is all lingering resentment. At the start he wonders how to get in good graces with people. I have an idea – don’t be an a**hole. That’s always a good first step. What Seth does this episode is fail to actually do either challenge properly. That is the height of arrogance in shows such as this – you go on to show your talents within the parameters of the show. There were no surprises. This isn’t Joe Millionaire where the producers withheld information – Top Chef has been around for a while. Chefs are presented challenges in small amounts of time and must cook well. Very talented chefs have failed these challenges. Who the hell does Seth think he is that he can thumb his nose at the challenge parameters? If you are asked to make a wedding cake, make a friggin wedding cake. Don’t say you don’t know how and make a tiny “engagement cake.” Malika couldn’t make it either, but at least she tried.
At the Elimination Challenge, I think I agree with Danielle on this one. Seth didn’t decide to work the line for everyone out of the kindness of his heart. He was not making a joke about interacting with the kids. This guy has no idea how to interact with society. He’s like a 10-year-old in a 33-year-old man’s body. He’s the kid from “Big.” Someone find him that fortune telling machine before he sleeps with Elizabeth Perkins. And a financier for a bake sale? That’s ridiculous. That’s like making raw fish at a baseball game. Sorry, Amanda from Top Chef: DC – I just can’t let that go. Even worse? Making the inappropriate dessert look like a plate of Fancy Feast. Somehow it was tasty, which saved him. Seth is a talented chef, but he’s also a tool.
Meanwhile, Malika AGAIN failed to plate a Quickfire entry. That’s two out of three where she can’t get it together. Granted, it was her first wedding cake, but still. I felt a little badly for her as she frantically trying to fill a gaping cake hole with frosting – the culinary equivalent of caulking up holes in the wall. And then to have her caked collapse on itself like an imploding building was a bit sad. But again, no crying in the kitchen. Plus, her good brownie in the Elimination Challenge wasn’t even her own recipe. I will also reiterate that when someone wants to quit a reality show…let them. And if you are another contestant…don’t talk them out of it.
Meanwhile, let’s talk about Yigit for a moment. First, if Heather C wanted to make a whoopie pie, let her. The double marshmallow thing that Danielle pointed out? Not a big deal, especially since marshmallows was just an extra to Yigit’s dessert. He could have put something else on top of his hideous pudding and let her make the dish she wanted to make. And nobody crowned him Prince of the Stew Room either. If Heather wanted to defend herself, let her defend herself. You defend YOUR-self. It was not selfish of her…oh wait, it was, and that’s ok because you are competing against each other! The stunned expression on Heather’s face came from how quickly and aggressively her fellow chefs attacked her because she said that making that cookie wasn’t her idea. She should have fought back and not slinked back in stunned silence, but still.
Danielle battled with Seth and is probably a bit too aggressive for her own good, but there it is. And what an exchange it was, prompted by her calling out Seth in front of the judges for his anti-social behavior with the team challenge. She called him a piece of s*** and that his whole story was bulls***. He said his comments about cussing which led him to be afraid of the kids was a joke, and she called him on that. I agree. Not a joke. She said he said it three times. He said it was a funny joke. That’s not a funny joke. Greg Giraldo told funny jokes (nothing Giraldo did was SFW) – damn, I’m still depressed about that. She said he should go home because he’s a dick. HA! He said he is not. She said, “good for you and your creamcicle.” Which I think may be the best lame comeback ever. He closed by saying he’s awesome and her food sucks. And scene.
Meanwhile, Morgan throws around nicknames and really creepily flirts with teen cheerleaders. Heather H is bitching about everyone, so she can’t be cool….wait, I’m bitching about everyone too. Ok, Heather H is awesome.