home Archive Big Brother 12, July 8 – Losing Your Dignity On A Slippery Weiner

Big Brother 12, July 8 – Losing Your Dignity On A Slippery Weiner

Enzo is from beautiful Bayonne and is a part time real estate agent, and something else that was unclear as he said it. Annie falls in love with him because of his accent. Ragan is a graduate student in communications and doesn’t admit to being a professor, because he doesn’t want a bigger target on his back. Britney knew they would be best friends as soon as he opened his mouth, as “he’s obvoiusly a flaming homosexual, and those are my people.” They can talk about “boys, shopping, Broadway, shoes, and Sex and the City.” Annie is a bartender from Chicago and has a French Bulldog named Mr. Cubby Bears. She has chosen not to tell people she’s bisexual, as she thinks it could hurt her game.

Julie greets the houseguests and asks everyone to gather in the living room. She points out the motto is expect the unexpected. She asks if all of them want to win, then tells them someone sitting next to them is lying. One of them is actually not there to win, and is the saboteur. Enzo says he hates rats, anything that has to do with rodents. He or she will be eligibile for PoV and HoH, but his or her goal is just to make it to the halfway point. And if they get there, they’ll collect $50,000. If they are evicted before that, they’ll walk out with nothing.

Julie leaves them with a message from the saboteur. Rachel says this changes her strategy, as there’s someone that will try to mess her up. It will hurt her chances at a showmance. Kristen doesn’t want to do any accusing. Andrew mocks the hokey saboteur voice, and Annie is feeling suspicious of anyone mocking the saboteur or talking about it excessively. Kathy notes she’s already paranoid anyway, and the new Miranda warning will be anything you say will be used or misquoted against you.

Julie announces it’s time for the first HoH competition, and she asks them to divide into two groups of 6, meaning one person has to volunteer to be the mascot. Andrew automatically does this, raising the suspicions of Enzo. After this, Julie tells Andrew he should know the mascot isn’t eligible to win HoH. He says he’s okay with it if everyone else is. Hayden is now suspicous as well. Everyone just moves over to one or the other couch, and doesn’t readjust to join a different team.

The mascot wears a weiner costume, and someone jokes that they hope it’s kosher. Everyone else gets to wear red and yellow shorts. Andrew is going to hurt someone if it turns out he has to wear it for a week. Matt likes the evolution from orthodox Jew to kosher weiner. Kathy laughs right in Andrew’s face.

There are weiners in flames all over and a big thing of mustard and kethcup They’re in what looks like a big grill, and Rachel mentions she wants to jump on the big huge weiners that are hanging there. I don’t write this stuff; I just report it. While Andrew can’t be HoH, he will be safe from the first eviction. The team members have to jump off the platform and grab a giant hot dog, with the rest of the team pullng them to the finish line using pulleys. All members have to make it to the other side. The first person to land on the platform of the winning team wins $10,000, the next $100, on down to $1, and finally the last person will win HoH. Certainly that invokes a lot of strategy right there.

Kristen jumps out first, but falls down and has to start over. Annie holds on to her weiner and gets the $10,000 for the yellow team. Monet makes it across for red and gets the other $10,000, then realizes it has just made her a target. Ragan gets $1,000 from the yellow side. Britney doesn’t want to grab the ginormous weiner because they’re covered in mustard and ketchup. She falls. Lane gets $1000 for the red. The other HGs are all falling right off.

The yellow teams use their shirts to wipe it off the weiners, including Rachel who whips off her shirt. Britney does the same. Hayden doesn’t want HoH, but reaizes the others on the red team won’t make it across without his help. He helps boost them up to grab the strap. Kristen makes it across for the red for $100. Britney can’t even hang onto the rope. Brendon tries to grab on and clean it off with his shirt, but instead they start reeling it and take him across. Now only two short girls and one guy are left on yellow.

Kristen falls and seems to hurt herself. Andrew feels bad, wanting to help as a doctor, but can’t blow his cover. Kathy jumps in to help out. Monet thought maybe she was the saboteur after she fell. The medic cmes out as the game is stopped to take a look at Kristen. Matt calls it the best thing happening, as it allows himself and Hayden to strategize over on red. They agree that Hayden will keep Matt safe and win HoH.

The medic suggests Britney leave the competition, so she’ll be switching places with a teammate who has already crossed over. The teammate she sitches with is picked by the yellow team. She feels everone is looking at her as a weak link after losing her “dignity on a slippery weiner.” The yellow team pulls Kristen over as she’s shorter than Monet. The game restarts with three players on each side. Kristen gets across yet again. Kathy is falling again, so Enzo and Rachel try to help her. Matt now makes it across, leaving Hayden to do it by himself. Brendon is realizing Kathy is doing nothing to help herself and hoping she’s not the saboteur. Hayden makes it across for the win for the red team, and getting himself HoH, he calls it bitersweet, as he now has a big target. Annie figures he’ll now be nominating people from yellow.

Later inside, the lights go out to give the saboteur some time to do something and to get things moving. Enzo says he knows the saboteur is doing something, and that you have to get up earlier in the morning to get one past the Jersey kid. Brendan is the first one to leave in the dark, thinking it was BB telling them to get to bed. He grabs his toothpaste and toothbrush and can’t see anything. Andrew wants to be a prankster, so he leaves to push their buttons, and they try to figure out who’s missing. The lights come on and Andrew is hiding behind the couch. The saboteur comes on the video screen and announces if they weren’t so afraid of the dark, they would have caught him. He/she announces he/she locked them out of the storage closet, but there is plenty of slop in the kitchen for them to eat.

Rachel announces she hasn’t eaten anything but a banana and chocolate covered strawberries, so whoever the saboteur is, is going to go down. Hayden asks why Brendon was gong to brush his teeth in the middle of the blackout, and Enzo is suspecting Andrew more for pulling the prank.

As viewers, we’ll find out who the saboteur is soon enough, but isn’t Andrew just a little too obvious? He was the one who opted to be the mascot, then hid behind the couches raising more suspicion. If he is the saboteur, he’s the worst strategizer ever, and this will go down as the lamest twist ever.

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Freelance entertainment and tech writer, editor