The results are in for the first judging this season. And I’m still filling in for Laura.
Cat Deeley appears in a tartan, fun, swing dress with her hair down to announce that the results are in. She does so in a much more dramatic way than I did above. Maybe I should try wearing Scottish-themed attire.
The dancers wear white outfits accented with gold vests, garters, or skirts as they flinge themselves and each other across the stage in what seems to be a contemporary jazz routine (I’m not an expert, but that’s what it looks like) to Kelis’s song, “Acapella.” Kelis, for those of you who are not familiar with the name, is the Milkshake Song Girl. You know, “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…” Anyway, the dance is high energy and showcases each of the eleven dancers. I’m willing to bet Sonya choreographed it.
Cat emerges in the center of the dancers and announces that a new choreographer, perhaps named Tasandra Chavez, created that routine. So I was wrong about Sonya. It was an educated guess. Wrong, but still educated. She introduces the judges: Blue Steel Adam Shankman, Mia Michaels, and Nigel Lythgoe, who announces that July 31 is National Dance Day during which everyone needs to get up and dance and we can all follow an easy routine created by Napoleon and Tabitha. He tells Cat to download it so she can dance it next week.
The first four dancers come on stage: Kent, Lauren, Robert, and Alex. Alex, Robert, and Kent are safe. Guess what? Lauren’s safe, too. Kent screams and grabs Lauren and twirls her around in a bear hug. Kent is becoming America’s sweetheart.
The next four are Alexie, Ashley, Billy, and Melinda. Melinda is in the bottom three. Nigel is not surprised; he thinks she has a lack of warmth and honesty in her performance. Billy and Ashley are safe. Alexie is in the bottom three. Mia says that cute will only take you so far, and Alexie’s performance was too held back and the show is about growth so now is the time to download.
The last group is Cristina, Adechike, and Jose. Jose and Adechike are safe. Cristina is in the bottom three.
That means three girls must perform solos tonight, and one of them will go home.
Before we get to the contestants’ dancing, two performers from Come Fly With Me, the Twyla Tharpe choreographed Broadway show, take the stage, dancing to Frank Sinatra’s “That’s Life.” The judges give them a standing ovation. Cat kisses them, awkwardly.
Melinda taps to “I Got The Feelin’” by James Brown.
Alexie dances to “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” by Otis Redding.
Cristina salsas to “La Guarachera” by Celia Cruz and Tito Puente.
While the judges decide who to eliminate, Usher sings “OMG.” At first, it sounds like a recording, but that could be because of the voice effects in the song or the fact that he’s wearing some sort of sheik mask over his face. Then he sounds slightly out of breath, which proves that he’s really singing, but also that he has weak breath control. When he’s done, Cat interviews him quickly, and it’s slightly awkward. That segways into the video of Justin Bieber that Usher worked on and I can’t watch it without feeling like an old lecherous perv, so I take only a few glances. Beat Freaks from Randy Jackson’s America’s Best Dance Crew make a dance appearance. So do some other crews from that show, but they aren’t wearing shirts with their crew name on them, so I can’t tell you who they are. I could look it up, but then again, so could you, and since I’m lazy, well, yeah. This song is also pretty groovin’. Still, I can’t watch the video. Something about this Bieber kid makes me really uncomfortable.
Nigel says that their decision tonight is unanimous.
Melinda needs to put some fire into her routines if she stays.
Cristina brought the fire tonight but not the steps.
Adam: He calls her beautiful and talented and hire-able.
Mia: They support her and she is going to work.
Nigel echoes that they all love her.
Alexie’s got some tears as her package rolls. Kent, meanwhile, is bawling in the audience. That kid? Is gonna be a star.
Next week, Laura will be back. This has been an interesting stint, but I don’t think I can continue to witness and rehash the awkwardness of Cat Deeley, however much I love her.