| Ninja – Chocolate Mousse with Coriander (again with the coriander?), and Caramel-Peanut Butter Mousse, with Chocolate Crumble. He made the lust aspect manifest through the smoothness of the mousse. Oh, and by making it in the shape of a vagina. He really did that. You can tell they all liked it because there was little chatter as they ate. Actor Damon thinks that everything is a vagina. Of course he does.
At Judges Table, we get the following:
Rick – Gail loved the layers of spice and flavor. Bert found it to be almost raw, which Rick said was actually cooked properly. Which is weird because earlier he admitted to having undercooked. Gail found it to have nice elements, but Bert wanted more punch. I’ve got one right here. NotPadma found his interpretation obvious, and Jay suggests that sometimes obvious is a good thing.
Marcus – Jay asked if he ever wondered if it was too much. Marcus said his visuals were to represent pleasure. Bert thought it needed editing, but the tuna was fantastic. Tuna? Where was there any tuna? Jay wanted a bowl and someone to spread the sauce all over. I think we should keep him and Gail separated.
Obi-Wan – He jokes that his choices were so bad, he basically won the lottery. NotPadma felt bad for him. Jay is a big fan of properly rendered skin, but wonders if the dish was complex enough. Obi-Wan compares it to the sketches from the Groundlings – not very deep and meaningful, but entertaining. Like this dish. Gail thinks Obi-Wan may make the best roasted chicken in the country, but is that enough to be on top of the competition. I’m sorry, I love Gail, but I have to throw a penalty flag on that one. When you use the words “best” and “in country” in the sentence, then yes, it is enough to win a Bravo reality cooking show.
Ninja – He says that sex and food go hand in hand. And I think he is mixing up his body parts. Gail calls it the “pinnacle of going for it.” This is a nice way of saying, “way over the top.” She says it was immature and delicious. This is something I think my first girlfriend called me! Hey-O! Jay wonders if the raspberry puree was overkill, and Ninja describes it as a feminine flavor. NotPadma thinks of all of them, Ninja was most inspired to improv. One rule of improv that I always remembered from back in the day when I did improv (Game On! Shippensburg in the house!) was that sex and fighting were always easy laughs; it was much better to go for laughs in other ways.
Marcus earns the win – with 4.5 from each judge and 4 stars from the actors. He edges out Ninja who got 4.5 from Jay and the actors, and 4 each from Bert and Gail.
Rick finished a distant third with 3.5 from all but Bert, who gave him 3 stars, for 13.5. Obi-Wan continued his downward spiral in judging by getting three from everyone, except Bert’s 2.5. So he goes home, after being called an “admirable, wonderful individual” by longtime buddy Rick.
• Obi-Wan had nice things to say about each of the Top Three on the way out – Rick drives himself too hard, but he adores him. Marcus needs to tone down his plates a bit. And he, the Jedi Master, actually learned things from the Ninja this season.
• Clearly the respect they have for the Ninja is huge. When he complemented Rick’s take on his recipe, Rick was visibly honored and said so. It’s like when a singer gets complemented by Simon on Idol.
• The Groundlings are introduced as being a group with such alumni as Will Ferrell, Kathy Griffin and Conan O’Brien. Is it me, or does Griffin have no business being in that grouping? A group that includes Kristen Wiig, Lisa Kudrow, Jon Lovitz, Phil Hartman, Jimmy Fallon, Paul Reubens and Pat “Mr. Miyagi” Morita, and we go with Kathy Griffin? I’m sure it has nothing to do with the subsequent ad for her Bravo show, right?
• Hey Tony, note how Ninja made a joke about Chinese people eating cats. You can joke about your own stereotypes if you’d like.
Next week – It ends. Ninja destroys things. Rick uses a giant freak whisk. Defending Champ Rick Bayless comes to dinner.
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