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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race 16, Apr. 11 – Ladies Get Their Way; Bitches Don't


Brent and Caite eventually find Alan Whu outside and get the clue, determined to get out of there before Crandy. They also decide to do the Drums and are hoping they can get to the U-Turn once again before Crandy. Carol and Brandy finally find Alan Whu and go after Pounding the Drums, realizing they’re in dead last.

The Cowboys get to Speakers’ Corner first, with the Detectives shortly after, and Brent and Caite just after them. The Cowboys find a kid playing the drums and start learning from him. The Detectives and Brent/Caite do the same. Caite is trying to dance along while she plays, saying it helps her get the rhythm of it, nothing she can’t sing worth crap, but she’s really good with rhythm. Crandy arrive and realize everyone is already there working on this. Michael says he can’t dance and has no rhythm, being as white as white can be. As Crandy’s young teacher tries to instruct them, Brandy remarks he’s smoking crack. They appreciate what he’s doing, but go to a different teacher, wanting one that will count while he goes.

Michael realizes no one has gotten it yet and they’re a ways away from getting it, so if they’re going to try the Fast Forward, they need to try it now. And this is why they’d be a perfect team to U-turn, as everyone knows they don’t want to do this one, meaning they can’t. They don’t know why they don’t see Dan/Jordan so think they might be selling the ice cream.

No, here’s the brothers. They’re at the Singapore Flyer getting strapped in, looking really scared. Jordan says he’d never do this in a million years, and he absolutely hates it. Dan thinks it’s kind of cool. Jordan wonders if now is a good time to tell his brother he has an intense fear of heights.

The Detectives show up at the Singapore Flyer as Dan and Jordan are getting ready to go up in their capsule. They don’t have any idea what the task is, but see a sign that says, “Flash Forward in progress,” and use that info to realize they just need to go back to the Detour. They go back to their cab and find it locked up, as their cab driver “took a potty break.” Louie says, “we’re so screwed.” Once the driver comes back, Michael says he looks like he wants a lot of ice cream sandwiches.

Dan and Jordan reach the top of the Flyer in their capsule, and hug it out, telling each other “I love you.” Jordan heads out to do the climb first, and Dan can see him shaking while he does it. Jordan just keeps repeating “A million dollars. You’re in a race for a million dollars.” Brent and Caite are working on their drums, as he says he doesn’t know if he can get it, but she thinks he can. The Cowboys lose their rhythm again, as Jet says some things just come naturally to certain people, and music doesn’t come naturally to them. Carol tells Brandy she doesn’t think she’ll get it and thinks they should go.

Jordan makes it across to the other capsule, saying it was the scariest thing he’s done in his life, and he’s surprised he didn’t pee himself. Dan just wants to do it very fast, and Jordan says his brother never ceases to amaze him. He could have done this Race with anyone, but would have never had the experience he’s having with Dan. They finish it and win the Fast Forward, and can now skip ahead to the pit stop, Marina Barrage. They can see it from where they are, and Jordan calls out, “Phil, we’ll be right there.”

The Detectives get their cart supplies and start setting up shop. They sell an ice cream sandwich right away to a local woman. Honestly, the big slab of chocolate ice cream in between two pieces of Texas Toast does not look appetizing. The Cowboys think they’ve learned the routine sufficiently and hop up onstage to try their luck at it. Cord loses right away. Brent and Caite see them up there and try their luck at it as the Cowboys go back to learn. Brent and Caite get it right and get a clue telling them it’s time to fill in the blank. They need to figure out that they’re looking for Istana Park located at the intersection of Penang Road and Orchard Road. Caite’s only worried where the U-Turn is.

Jordan calls himself “the man” as they get to the pit stop and jump on Phil’s mat. They’re welcomed to Singapore and are named team number one. They’ve each one a motorbike. Dan says there is no chance either of them will even step on it, and Jordan explains their mother would kill them. The Detectives are still selling their ice cream, and when someone buys two sandwiches, Michael tells him that’s okay, as he has a big belly and eats a lot too.

Brent and Caite get to the park, and I think she’s about to hyperventilate as she looks for the U-Turn. They find it, but this time they can’t stay anonymous if they use it like the Detectives were when they U-turned Joe and Heidi. Still hyperventilating, Caite announces they are U-Turning Carol and Brandy. She uses their negative comments about her as the reason and says they’re the ones that brought it to themselves. Their next clue tells them they’re being put in dry dock and to head to the shipyard.

The Detectives are begging people to buy more ice cream, and their driver comes up to buy ten ice creams, giving them their limit, and I think he just wants to get moving and get back to work. Or felt bad for his potty break. Or thought they were serious when they said he looked like he was hungry for a lot of ice cream. They get their clue and head to the park. Crandy is taking their shot at performing onstage, as Carol is browbeating Brandy, telling her she asked to leave this challenge an hour ago, so let’s just hope they can beat the Cowboys now. They’re successful and take off for the park, happy that the Cowboys are still there.

The Detectives’s driver drops them off, but it’s not exactly in the right place. Maybe all that ice cream is clouding his thinking. Crandy gets to the park before them and sees the U-Turn, and Carol thinks they were U-Turned because Brandy is prettier than Caite. She hits the picture of Brent and Caite, and they head back to do the ice cream. They call it flat out stupid. Brandy wants it known Caite hasn’t built a career on intelligence. Carol notes she’s an idiot and is on YouTube to prove it. To them it doesn’t make a lot of sense, as they say they should be U-Turning stronger teams, not them. Brandy turns to making fun of Brent, saying he probably just stood there saying, “I don’t know what she wants me to do,” and launches into a Forrest Gump impression, saying, “It’s Brent and Caite Gump.”


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