|He’s not the loudest. He’s not the tannest. He’s not the buffest, most juiced. He doesn’t have sculpted hair or the most recently laundered clothes.
What he does have is the fist pump. :danceagain: What he does have is an innocence that’s not so innocent.
He’s Vinny. And this is why we love him:
[b]1.[/b] He’s not afraid to get down with anyone on the dance floor. As we’ve seen and I’ve brought up several times, [b][url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/magazine/article.php?articleid=1648 ]Vinny is the guy who crawls through the older, heavier lady’s legs[/url] [/b]on one of the first nights of partying. Sure he gets pink eye the next day, but that’s because he’s fearless. Who else braved pink eye in the name of dance? No one, that’s who.
[b]2.[/b] When the boys go to the barber and rank on RonRon to spill the dirt about Sweetheart Sammi, Vinny lays low. What does he care? He just wants a haircut.
[b]3.[/b] Pauly D and Situation live by the guido formula of GTL— gym, tanning, laundry. Vinny doesn’t get that. He prefers the formula: basketball, play pool, lay on the beach. Yes! Thank you! You guys are on the Jersey SHORE. Why is everyone going to a tanning booth when there’s a beach outside? (yes, I understand that this show was shot during the rainiest summer ever, but still—we see some sunny days so go lay out. Actually, I think everyone should get spray tans if they want to be tan because of skin cancer risk, but I know that’s a hoop dream so I’ll stop right here).
[i]** Sidenote: Everytime one of the guys mentions GTL, I immediately think, Why are they talking about the gay and lesbian alliance?, because I get it confused with GLBT. Who’s with me on that one? Anyone? Okay, moving on.[/i]
[b]4.[/b] Vinny can take a joke. 😆 When Situation puts a cheese pickle consommé under Vinny’s bed (and Vinny doesn’t really investigate the smell other than to check his pits and his clothes lying on top of the bed—come on, Inspector Gadget, you can do better than that), he’s not angry when he “finds” (meaning RonRon and Sammi tell him about it) the bowl. He warns Situation that he’ll get his. Revenge probably won’t happen, but still, it’s nice to see someone allow himself to get got and not try to punch someone in return.
[b]5.[/b] Sure, Vinny’s a mama’s boy, but he says he never takes advantage of it. His mom cooked and cleaned for everyone and she brought him some nice new undershirts and socks. As long as she didn’t bring him tighty-whiteys, that’s a-okay. There’s nothing wrong with lovin’ your mom. Vinny loves his family and he loves his friends and love is good.
[b]6.[/b] Vinny is the guy who goes into the girl’s bathroom to comfort Snooki[b] [url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/magazine/article.php?articleid=1652 ]after she gets punched in the face[/url][/b]. Vinny is the guy who kicks inanimate objects to calm himself down after he can’t get to the guy who punched her. Vinny is good people.
[b]7.[/b] Vinny tells Situation that he, Vinny, would never want to be the way Situation is by the time Vinny is Situation’s age. Thank you, Vinny. Thank you for pointing out that you are 21 and supposed to act like a hormone while Situation is 27 and could still act like a hormone but maybe more toned down. I mean, I still act like an ass and I’m not 21 anymore, but I don’t still try to get every guy I see, whether or not he’s good looking, just to say I got a guy. Okay, well, maybe I do make bad decisions, but it’s not on purpose, and I think that’s the difference here. Situation makes decisions, and he doesn’t know if they’re good or bad. They just are. I’m aware of my bad decisions. Wait, that’s not helping my point either.
Actually, the point isn’t about me or Situation. It’s about Vinny. Vinny is 21 and should make any kind of asinine decisions he wants, and the glory of it is that he doesn’t make many.
[b]8.[/b] Okay, one asinine decision is that he takes home the boss’s girl. But….
[b]9.[/b] Situation tells Vinny that Vinny has no game. Really? How about this….
Vinny is the only guy who can take home the woman his own boss was on a date with on the same night, and then go to work the next day, and keep his job. Then continue to see this woman. Then go out with Situation’s sister. Then see the boss’s former girl while out with Situation’s sister. Then hang out with the boss’s former girl while the sister is there. And then, THEN, go back home with Situation’s sister AND have her come to him to sleep in his bed.
That? Is game.
You know what? Not only is it game, but it’s Game! Set! Match! Win!
:clap: :clap2: :five: :clap: :clap2: :five: :clap: :clap2: :five:
[b]10.[/b] In AC, Situation “pulls a robbery” and makes out with the girl Vinny had been making out with. I’m with Vinny on this one all the way—that is the definition of sloppy seconds, and Situation definitely has some Vinny DNA in his mouth without having to kiss Vinny. Who wins out in this one? Again, Vinny.
[b]11.[/b] Vinny is the guy who comes up with “Cerenade” for Michael Cera as a nickname when Michael Cera learns how to be a guido even though Vinny himself has no nickname.
[b]12.[/b] Vinny is the go-to-guy who narrates the most during the Jersey Shore Spoof Special.
[b]13.[/b] Despite the love lost between Vinny and Situation, Vinny jumps in to save Situation from the one-two punch of J-WoWW in AC after Situation arrives home after refusing to help J-WoWW back up to the room after she throws up from drinking so he can suck out the rest of Vinny’s saliva from the sloppy-second-girl’s mouth. Situation does the thing that every guy does (or should do) when a girl attacks him—he grabs her arms and bear hugs her from behind so she can’t hit him. Vinny grabs her away from Situation in the same fashion, but she “gets away” for a moment and manages to blast Situation in the face. :slap:
Now we all know, I’m not a fan of violence, but part of me finds it kind of funny that Vinny totally allows that one punch to slip. One might think that he believed J-WoWW’s fuse had fizzled enough for him to keep a loose grip. If one thinks that, then one has not been living Jersey Shore life for these past few weeks. J-WoWW doesn’t have a short-lived fuse. She was totally looking to pound on Situation, and Vinny’s lackluster attempt to pull her away feels so right.
[b]14.[/b] Vinny wears a fedora. Boy looks good in a hat.
And so, my loveable, respectful, smart, funny, hot, nicknameless, pink-eye-free Vinny, I say to you, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re 21 and the world is your playground. You’ve come from the silent forgettable guy in the background to the forefront of reason on Jersey Shore, and that’s a pretty cool place to be.
:banana4: What? Am I here to amuse you? [b][url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=2666&forum=13&post_id=41853#forumpost41853]Chat in the forums.[/url][/b]