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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race 5, Oct. 11 – No Cheap Wins, Bitches


Well I’m ready to see who the next team is to lose their passports and enter the Amazing Race Hall of Fame. They left us last week with many choices, but in previews this week, we were led to believe that it’s Zev and Justin. Is that who it is?

The first team to leave from Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, are Flight Time and Big Easy at 6:53 PM. They get a clue to fly to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Once there, they need to find the Foreign Correspondence Club and search for the assignment editor. Speaking in a whisper, they’ll ask for the next assignment and receive the next clue. Big Easy says they work so well together because they’re teammates. Flight Time agrees, saying he found himself cleaning Big Easy’s socks and underwear. Yeah, that’s close, and probably something I didn’t need to know.

Meghan and Cheyne are the next to leave at 6:54 PM, and Gary and Matt at 6:58 PM. Gary calls his son bigger than life, saying his hair is every color in th book. Yet, he’s learning to appreciate it. Brian and Ericka leave at 6:59 PM, with Brian saying they’ve realized the theme this year will be the jungle theme, Jungle Fever. In the cab he pulls out a “Ho Chi Minh Hummingbird,” which looks like just a small bug, from his eye. And I would now be grossed out. Glad I finished dinner first.

Sam and Dan leave at 7:06 PM and tell their driver he’ll get lots of money if he goes fast. Maria and Tiffany leave ten minutes later. Everyone starts arriving at the airport, and ask about flights at Vietnam Airlines, but the earliest flight is 2:25 PM. This airline winds up being the only one with a flight to Cambodia.

Mika and Canaan leave at 7:25 PM, and she thinks she’ll be good speaking in the whisper at the FCC, since it’s “proper.” Zev and Justin leave at 7:31 PM. Justin notes they went to the same camp and had a really good time and have been friends ever since. Zev is grateful for Justin for bringing him into his group of friends, and always taking care of him. They try to figure out where they’re flying to, and and Zev suggests it’s Sean Penn Cambodia.

Lance and Keri leave at 7:32 PM, and he believes the race provides you with five years of marriage stress. I think his mouth would lead me to five years of marriage stress. They decide to see where everyone else is milling around at the ticket counters, letting them do all the work.

Everyone is getting the 12:25 flight tickets. Zev and Justin are stuck in traffic, though. Zev threatens to tell their driver’s mother on him if he doesn’t pass another cab, and he does, meaning he has no need to tell on him. What a relief. They’re the last to arrive at the airport, as Lance tells them they are now in last place. I’m sure they’re grateful to him for the announcement.

The 12:25 flight is full, with Meghan and Cheyne getting the last set of tickets, meaning Lance and Keri, and Zev and Justin, are stuck taking a 2:15 flight. The ticket agent agrees to put Lance and Keri as the first team on the waiting list. Zev and Justin get added to the list as well for the flight to “Sean Penn, Cambodia.”

Once the 12:25 flight boards, the other teams are hoping to get some breathing room with the other two teams not making it. As it turns out, both of the last two teams make it on the standby for the flight, getting on during the final boarding. Lance shouts out to the others, “No cheap wins, Bitches.”

Once the flight lands, they all take off in cabs, and Justin tells the taxi to take off for the FCC like the cops are chasing him, but safely. They ask their driver’s name and tell him not to leave them, or Zev will call his mother. Gary and Matt’s driver says he likes to drive fast when he hears they’re in a Race. Mika and Canaan take off from the airport in last place.

The first team to arrive at the FCC is Zev and Justin followed by several others. They ask around for the editor, but Cheyne gets it wrong, asking for the “corresondence editor.” Sam and Dan find the correct editor, which tips off the other teams to who the correct person is. Their cue includes a duplicate photo of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis on her only official visit to Cambodia. They need to figure out what hotel has a suite named for her. Once at the Hotel Le Royal, they need to find the original picture hanging on the wall to get their next clue.

Unbelievably, Sam and Dan have no idea this is Jackie O. Of course not. Why would Jackie O go to Sean Penn, Cambodia? Zev and Justin find out from their cab driver that they need to go to the Hotel Le Royal.

Meghan and Cheyne are headed to the correct hotel as well. Brian and Ericka arrive at the FCC and get the clue, as do the basketball players and Gary and Matt. Lance/Keri and Maria/Tiffany and Mika/Canaan arrive as well.

Canaan cannot figure out the correct way to ask for the next assignment and keeps asking for the “next task.” The “editor” looks very confused. It could be he doesn’t know English and has been coached to wait for the words “next assignment” and doesn’t know what “task” is. Gary and Matt don’t know who Jackie O is either. Canaan is still asking for the task. Finally he gets it right. Yet, they’re still in last place.


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