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Hell's Kitchen, Aug. 1 – Sweet Girls Don't Make Great Chefs


Like many of you this week marking the return of school, between scouts, registering, new teachers and new schedules, I’m pooped. There is no wonderful foodie snack tonight, just a cold, comforting peanut butter and grape jam sandwich. Luckily for me, they never have the Italian Kitchen Challenge or the Chocolate Dessert Challenge, so I should be safe. There seem to be more contestants that need to stand and deliver this season; I think it’s still anyone’s win. Well okay, maybe not anyone’s.

The show starts off tonight with what appears to be a bunch of stunned people that Robert was sent packing over Andy. Andy recognizes that if he goes up there again, he will be sent packing. You can’t even say the guy is on for ratings because honestly, he is a little monotone for me. Personally I think Van needs to be thankful. Think about it. He didn’t just cook that fish in plastic; he also seasoned and drenched it with plastic on there. Red has their least favorite team member also left in Suzanne.

Tonight’s challenge is the palette; I always love this one. The other day I was speaking to a friend about Tennille and mentioned that maybe she has stayed because of a great palette. I guess my theory is up for testing tonight. Oh good grief, what a bummer. Chef Ramsay picks Tennille to sit out on this challenge. Suzanne thinks that is a good decision. I wouldn’t think so, since twice Tennille has tasted something wrong with a dish that has caused the red team to lose the challenge.

Ariel and Van are up first and blindfolded. Starting with whipped cream cheese, Van says yoghurt, and Ariel says cream cheese. Next up is venison, Ariel guesses roast beef, and Van says tuna. That’s kind of funny. As much as all these people smoke, I am surprised they can taste anything. Pecans were guessed incorrectly when both of them thought they were walnuts; they both guess leeks correctly. Red is up by one point.

Next up is Dave and Suzanne. Both score a point guessing turkey correctly. Zucchini stumps both of them when Dave thinks it’s lima beans and Suzanne thinks it is baby pearl onions. The also both get quince wrong; Dave guesses pumpkin, Suzanne guesses cooked apple. Egg yolk is up last; somehow Dave tastes squash, while Suzanne tastes poached egg yolk.

Kevin and Sabrina square off with iceberg lettuce. Does iceberg lettuce really have a taste? Kevin says romaine, and Sabrina thinks butter lettuce. Grapefruit is next, and both of them get that right. Kevin guesses sage, while Sabrina guesses basil for the oregano. Clams are the next mystery ingredient, and Kevin guesses spinach, while Sabrina says ahi tuna.

Amanda and Andy, whom Tennille refers to as an “epicurious mamba jamba” are last up. Lychee is first, Andy gets it right, and Amanda guesses pineapple. Avocado is next, and Andy guesses boiled coconut. Who boils coconut, and would it become soft like an avocado if you did boil it? Amanda guesses Avocado. If Andy loses this next food challenge the ladies win it. Ahi tuna is up for the tasting. Andy guesses salmon, and the women win the challenge.

The women win an amazing culinary outing with Chef Ramsay. The Blue team will be making a handmade sorbet, including bringing in shipments of fruit and cleaning all the glasses. Dave needs to sort gallons of frozen mixed berries; this just makes me laugh. I can’t imagine standing there sorting gallons of melting berries. It didn’t seem like it could be worse than that, but Van’s pomegranate massacre might make a liar of me.

Chef Ramsay meets up with the ladies at Opaque where they will be dining in the dark. The maitre d leads them in a single file line with one hand on a shoulder into the dining room. The cameras have some sort of night vision capability, and the look on Chef Ramsay’s face is priceless. Personally I would never want to not see what I am eating. I’ve heard this experience really heightens the taste, but no thank you. I would, however, be tempted to play a little footsie with Chef Ramsay, then trade places with someone so he never knew.

Oh Amanda, a girl after my own hear. She gets her feel in and adds that he works out! When everyone is seated, Chef Ramsay asks them how it feels and Amanda says amazing, priceless.

The guys are getting a special meal prepared by Chef Scott. Risotto and scallops, duck and some pasta dish. This is a punishment, though, so the dishes are put into a blender and made into smoothies. From the looks on their faces, it is safe to assume it didn’t taste good. Van, however, goes back for more and enjoys it like a protein shake.

Back in the dark Suzanne is sucking up to Chef Ramsay by asking stupid questions like how you make a new dish. On a side note, when I recap these shows I watch a little, pause, write, watch, and sometimes when I pause it just right, you see something that you might look over if watching in real speed. I had to rewind to see if it made sense. Suzanne is eating in the dark with her eyes closed and licking her fingers, yuck.

When the girls return the guys have finally moved on to cleaning the glasses at the bar. It appears that eating in the dark is not all they did; many of the ladies seem a bit tipsy.


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