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Top Chef: Masters Ep. 2 – Live Together, Dine Alone


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Juliet – Duo of Boar.  Ancho Beer Braised Boar Loin with Garlic Rub.  Coffee-Scented Poached Boar Loin.  Yam Papaya Pudding. 
The writers are unsure if boar can taste good.  My question is when did they actually eat boar?  It’s not like they got to eat from Locke’s hunt!  Those animals had wranglers on set.  And one boar was actually CGI according to my Lost Season 1 DVD.  Bert thinks the pudding is like baby food.  Show of hands … how many people have eaten baby food as adults?  Yep, my hand is up.  Jay thinks it needed more sauce.  We learn later that Juliet ran out of time.  Personally, I’d rather have her Dharma Hydra Station grilled cheese sandwich.
 
Jack – Tuna Trio – Maki Roll with Tuna and Dehydrated Pineapple.  Tuna Nicoise with Kalamata Olive Oil.  Tuna a la Plancha – Coffee-crusted tuna loin with risotto and hearts of palm.
Damon likes the Dharma green beans used so well.  Bert thinks this is the best tuna he ever had.

Sayid – Roasted Chicken with Poached Eggs.  Banana Mustard, Beets with Dried Corn.  Plantain Puree. Sayid forgot to give Jay chicken; he put two on another plate.  Doh!!  Hurley can tell us all the dangers of properly distributing food.

Nikki – Risotto with Uni, clams, and prawns.  Wilo Boar strip with Oyster Beer Sauce.  Mango Corn Salad. I hope they used Dharma beer from the ol’ Linus Dharma van. Needless to say, they all loved Nikki’s food.

So, in a result just as stunning as the revelation that Pierre Chang was Miles’ father – Nikki (Suzanne) wins with 22.5 stars. Jack (Graham) comes in second with 20.5. Sayid (Wylie) moved up to third with 20 stars, and Juliet (Elizabeth) fizzled out with 16.5 stars.

That’s two lackluster episodes in a row lifted up only by the opportunities to make Lord of the Rings and Lost jokes. Is it asking too much to have George Lucas guest star next week?

Quickfire Hits

• Jack had this long discussion with the lame judges explaining his dish and I must admit that it was like he was speaking another language. It was just about as confusing as hearing someone try to explain the time traveling on Lost.

• Gael had more hats. I am wondering if there is a giant hole on the top of her head.

• Jack tasted monkey and snake when he was a kid. I think I tasted ketchup on spaghetti as a kid. Same difference.

• Another thing this version of Top Chef lacks … no Tom visits to the chefs. I miss having Tom wandering through the kitchen watching the chefs screwing up, telling them nothing and then scolding them to the camera.

• Damon and Carlton talk about the “dip in quality” of Lost after Top Chef airs. I wonder if that explains Nikki and Paolo.

• I must know … how can I get one those Dharma jumpsuits? Can mine say Workman?

• Please, can NotPadma say the “Lost Supper” one more time? I need more reasons to despise her presence on my TV screen.

That’s it – Next week, more of the same I am sure.  

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