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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

So You Think You Can Dance 5, May 28 – The Return of … Sex


In the choreography round, we have Lauren Gottlieb guiding them through a routine. Chanel doesn’t make it as she lost some of the stuff that made her special, but Adam encourages her to continue dancing. She feels it’s okay, because it doesn’t define the dancer that she is. Mary tells Sammy there is so much gong on with him as he just has to keep on dancing and keep on dancing and keep on dancing … in Vegas. Diana and Alexie and 18 others make it on day two in L.A.

Now we’re in Seattle with the ever-present rain. And oh no, there’s a familiar face in the crowd. It’s Sex. Please, no. Joining Mary and Nigel, here is Mia Michaels.

Christopher Keller, 22, of Portland, and his partner Julie are going to do a mix between Argentine tango, east coast swing, and international tango, playing with gender roles, dominance, and who should be in control. Friends since 7th grade, she’s not competing, as she has school to finish. She took him argentine tango dancing the first time and thinks he went just to flirt with her friends. They work some great humor into this dance with the gender role thing, and it’s really fun, but definitely not professional caliber.

Nigel tells Christopher Julie is the sensible one for not competing. He wants the story behind the dance as Julie was so stiff like an ironing board. Christopher says Julie actually comes from a lindy hop background which is even more odd. Mary doesn’t know what to say, as it wasn’t good dancing in any way, shape, or form. She just wants to say it was strange. Christopher admits it felt rough, and says he decided to dance on the spur of the moment. Nigel confirms they enjoy dancing together, but Julie doesn’t seem so sure. He encourages them to continue on a social level. Christopher just hopes Julie wasn’t embarrassed.

Nick Salzman, aka Nick Nasty, 25, of Hillsboro, OR, is an aspiring tattoo artist and is called Nasty because of of the way he dances with the provocativeness Michael Jackson in it. He’s going to hit stuff he knows he can be clean with and do it the way he does it. He does some pretty good b-boy with some flips and even some weird things on his head. Something goes wrong at the end, though, and Mia asks what happened. He says he ran out of energy. He used to be able to do this for a few hours, but now five minutes is about it.

Nigel points out it was barely two minutes, and Nasty says thanks for sharing that, as it was evident. He was just happy to be here and do something different, and he accomplished his goal. Nigel doesn’t understand that, saying Nasty came for an audition to get on a television show to help improve him, but he’s happy with what he just did. Nasty isn’t completely excited He explains Nigel is great, but he wanted to make the two ladies happy. Nigel calls it disrespectful, and Nick apologizes. Mary explains it was a yes but his personality has talked him out of it. MIa points out if he’s that disrespectful to the producer of the show, what’s he going to do with the choreographers and other dancers? It’s a no for everyone.

6’6 b-boy Dmitrious Bistrevsky, 21, of Spokane, WA, was really confident, then videotaped himself working out and it was iffy. But he’s here, so he’s going with it, even though he knows it looks a lot better in his head. I think he should have asked to audition with the version he has in his head as I watch him.

He tells Mary he’s been breakdancing for three months, as she says that figures as it didn’t seem like he had the strength where it’s like wow, wow, wow. She wanted him to nail it, but was scared, realizing he didn’t really know what he was doing. It scared Mia, too, as she couldn’t enjoy it with the music beating the shit out of him ad it scared her. Nigel doesn’t think you can say shit on TV. Of course we don’t know she said that, but it seemed to fit in the bleeps. There wasn’t anything there for Nigel, but Mia encourages him to keep going. Nigel tells him with his size, he’s be able to lift girls with just one finger, and they make a date to do that again in a couple years.

The judges are getting disgusted with the level of talent, and Nigel tells them all to get on the stage and do something, otherwise get off it, as he doesn’t even have a television show right now. Up walks Kelsea Taylor, 18, of Millcreek, WA. She does a lyrical type of thing which is bizarre to say the least, but somewhere in there is some good dancing, and beats the rest of the stuff we were seeing. NIgel knows choreographer Sonya Tayeh would love her and says he didn’t want her to stop.

Nigel says she’s zany and slightly crazy. He likes her a lot. Mary agrees, loving the musicality, and she wasn’t afraid to take moments with a pause and and accent it to the music. She wanted to see more too. She thinks she’s smart, and while she’s not the strongest dancer, she didn’t show them her weaknesses. Mia calls her a beautiful , disastrous weirdo, and she hopes to see more of her as it just stands out, refreshing and new with her own thing going on. They send her on to the choreography round, where she keeps entertaining them, so she moves on. Only four people total go through this day.

It’s day two and they’re hoping for a much better day He says it’s about them bringing something magic.

Cat struggles to pronounce the first dancer’s name, Kuponohi’ipoi “Pono” Aweau, 23, of Kailua, HI. In the Hawaiian culture, you’re pretty much given a name and are challenged to live up to the name throughout your life. He reminds me of Mark Kanemura last season in that he’s just different. I don’t know what that name means, but he’s definitely living up to something. He’s creative.

Mary says she was on the fence, as there were a lot of things he did strongly, but then some other things that were very feminine. She loved the way he moved his body. Mia has faith in him. She likes his look and thinks there’s stuff in there. Nigel too is reminded of Mark who was also from Hawaii. He’s sent on to choreography to see what the can do with that. It’s a much better day than yesterday.

Until, we see Sex and his mom. That’s right, David “Sex” Soller, 35, of Smithtown, NY. He thought it was cool that everyone there recognized him. Nigel had begged him last year to not return.

As Sex waits for his turn, Leonid “Wise Leo” Knyshov, 29, of Kiev, Ukraine, gets ready to take the stage. He does data recovery from damaged hard drives for a living, and thinks a lot of his job is grief counseling. He also created a lot of websites, including how to make your dating profile stand out from the rest. He once had a girl call at 11 at night from an unlisted phone number. He just goes around the stage prancing on his feet. The music sounds like a Night at he Roxbury skit n SNL.

Nigel tells him it’s not indescribable like what Leo had written down as there are quite a few words he could come up with. He asks what style it is and Leo explains he made it up with elements of jive. He’s trained in some of the ballroom dances, cha cha, samba, rumba, some hip hop, but he’s here to find out how far he can get with their help. Nigel is now at a loss for words and Leo asks if it’s that bad. Nigel does say it was like at a rave party. Mary thought it reminded her of the 3 and 4 year olds in the back yard playing, jump around and twirl around, repeat.. Mia wants to see a battle with Sex. They comare this battle to Ali and Fraser, and others – Battle In Seattle. Sex With Leo. Sex gets permission from his mother who tells him to go for it.

I can’t even keep a good play-by-play here, as it was just so enjoyable to watch. Sex gets his high kicks in while Leo spins, then we get Sex’s “slinky” moves. and then some floor action. Leo has an incredible spin. Sex goes for a shimmy as Leo responds with two aerial spins. Sex runs out of steam. They hold hands waiting for the decision. Mia calls Leo the winner, Mary names Leo, and Nigel has to take Sex. Nigel tells Sex that for the first time in five years, he’s going to support him. He admires his tenacity for continuing to come back. Nigel sends him onto the choreography round for the first time hoping he’ll get that reality check finally. Mia and Mary don’t agree, and Sex compares himself to Twitch who tried out a few years in a row.

I can only feel sorry for the person partnered with Sex in the choreography round. Nigel is glad Sex never gave up, but he’s not making it through. It doesn’t matter, as his mom is proud of him, and Sex says he might be back again next year. Pono makes it through as well, along with eight others.

Next week we’re onto the Las Vegas Callbacks, and we’ll probably be introduced to some new favorites there. Today, I had to like Philip and Arielle. They had the best mix of good back story, talent, and fun. I’m sure both of them won’t make it, but they’ll be fun to watch next week.

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