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American Idol Finale – From Heartless to Speechless

I’m not even going to waste a lot of time on this intro. I’ve been waiting too long for this, and made sure I got done with all my chores first. Now, onto the fun stuff. The American Idol finale, Adam Lambert or Kris Allen? Leather or jeans? I’m personally wearing my comfy jeans shorts and a peach t-shirt.

Incredibly, Ryan Seacrest tell us that just under 100 million votes came in last night. He also points out his Dawg, Randy Jackson, wearing a fluffy bow tie. We see a bunch of clips of him saying, “for me,” which is pretty funny. Kara DioGuardi is shown calling everybody “Sweetie” and “Honey.” Paula Abdul is shown with her big vocabulary, as she has so many different words, at least more than “Dawg,” “for me,” “Sweetie,” and “Honey,” moving on to Simon Cowell saying he needs a translator on the show. Simon’s clip package is of him asking pardon? what did you say? what? and claiming he didn’t hear anything.

Kris Allen and Adam Lambert walk the stage wearing all white. One in leather, one in jeans, of course. Kris talks about last night being emotional, as it was the last time he’d go through this ritual, and Adam says he’s both nervous and excited. We go to Conway, Arkansas, where Mikalah Gordon is in Kris’ hometown, literally a block away from his house. Then it’s on to San Diego, California to see Adam’s fans with Carly Smithson. She says she didn’t bring San Diego all the way last year, but thinks Adam will this year.

Here’s the top 13 singing So What, and surprise, surprise, they’re all dressed in white as well. I just don’t like all 13 together, as I don’t think they harmonize as a big group, and it just becomes a singalong. Nevertheless, while I’m typing this, my foot is tapping away. I could have done without Jasmine’s solo. There was a reason why she didn’t make it past the top 13.

Ryan explains that one year ago a bartender turned into the American Idol, and it changed his life forever. Tonight, he sings Permanent for us. It’s David Cook, the reigning Idol about to pass his crown. I see the Live Strong bracelets on him, and it reminds me of his brother passing away not too long ago. They had sold bracelets a year ago for him to travel to the finale, but he ended up to sick to make it, so they donated the money from the bracelets instead. The next thing going through my mind, is, “Dang, he’s good.” That was a deserving win last year. Either way it goes this year, I think it will still be deserving.

David mentions to Ryan after that the song was tough to sing, but he did it to honor his brother as well as other people. He’s putting this song up on iTunes after the show and 100% of the proceeds will go to ABC2, an organization trying to find a cure for cancer. He thinks both Adam and Kris are both great artists and great guys, and he doesn’t think America can get this wrong.

Ryan wants to pay tribute to the people that didn’t make it as far as “Mr. Cook,” as we start the awards portion of the program, the Golden Idol Awards. Amusingly, we see a clip of Adam and Kris spinning the award for the camera, instead of some high tech machine.

The first trophy is for Outstanding Male: Wil Kunick singing at the ceiling in his audition while Randy hides behind his papers, Michael Gurr, who sings like he’s in pain, and so are we, and Randy is again hiding behind papers, Elijah Scarlett, who sings in the deepest baritone I’ve ever heard, Danny Anthony Bradford in the most outrageous plaid coat you’ve ever seen. as Randy mocks him instead of hiding this time. He’s the guy that told us the carpet matches the drapes. And of course NIck MItchell, aka Norman Gentle.

It goes to NIck Mitchell, who’s in the audience, not in his Norman Gentle garb. He is honored, but embarrassed he’s not dressed for it. He thanks every comedian in the world, then jokes he wishes he knew he was doing this, as he’s unprepared Nick says “hit it,” yanks off the sweats, and has the Norman garb on underneath. He sings his theme song And I’m Telling You. When he’s done, Ryan is wearing his headband and glasses.

For our first duet of the evening, we have Cue the Rain with Queen Latifah and Lil Rounds. Lil looks great, and so does Queen. She’s lost some weight and looks fantastic in a bodysuit. Their voices actually blend really well together. Queen is about a foot taller than Lil though. The dancers all around them are a bit distracting. Queen stands out no matter what, but Lil kind of disappears, which I think was the problem she had in the finals.

Anoop Desai comes out with a mustache and bright striped jacket singing I’m Yours with Alexis Grace and Jason Mraz. Why couldn’t they have had Kris Allen singing with him? I like Alexis and Anoop with him, but c’mon, that’s a Kris Allen duet waiting to happen. As they sing, here come the rest of the Idols, minus Lil, I think. At least I don’t see her.

They show Kris Allen’s audition and journey, and it’s interesting, quite interesting, since we didn’t see it to begin with. We didn’t see him him until final 36. He joins Keith Urban onstage doing Kiss a Girl. Just when I’m about to complain again that he didn’t get to sing with Jason Mraz, he blows me away. They sound great together, and this song sounds really good on him. Im just going to sit back and enjoy it for awhile. Man, I sure hope this one is made available for download.

All the female Idol Finalists, which weren’t great in number, come out to sing Glamorous. Allison looks really cute in a short black number. She introduces Fergie who comes out to sing Big Girls Don’t Cry, which I heard her sing for the very first time when she was singing on an Idol stage, as a matter-of-fact. The Idol girls are her backup singers until Allison announces the Black-Eyed Peas who join Fergie onstage as Meghan Joy is doing her weirdass dancing in the aisles. They cut out part of the song showing just just the Idol logo, and I wonder if there’s some cursing in that part of the lyrics or something. There are weird zebra-striped people behind them, as Fergie reveals some razor-like fingernails.

Ryan takes the awards podium again with a salute to those that showed composure in the face of adversity, Best Attitude: Katrina “Bikini Girl” Darrell who had the duel with Kara, Alexis Cohen who made her return to the Idol auditions flipping her famous bird, and Tiffany Shedd who is compared to a donkey among horses. The winner is Bikini Girl. She comes out onstage in of course another bikini, even more revealing than before. and Simon and Randy are definitely wowed. He jokes he was going to ask her what’s new, but he thinks he knows, as it seems she had some additions made to her lovely frame.

Bikini Girl takes the stage to sing, and it’s clear why she wasn’t part of the final 36. Behind her, Kara pops out singing with her, putting her arm around her as they duet. Kara then rips open her dress to reveal a bikini as well. Now that’s funny. It was on a bet apparently, as she assures us it’s the only reason she did it.


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