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Amazing Race 14 Commentary, Ep, 7 – Yep, The Kiss of Death.


OK – I need to start using this power for good. Last week, I stated that I was officially rooting for Mel and Mike this season and right away the guys try to find a giant ape at the beach instead of the zoo and they are eliminated. Let’s see how can I use this jinx power for the betterment of mankind?

1 – I am rooting for the nation’s economy to tank so badly that we are going to be back on the barter system before the midterm elections.

2 – I want to see tons of hurricanes hit more major U.S. cities, because who needs cars when you can have boats?

3 – I want to see Adam Lambert mangle more Rolling Stones songs.

4 – I want to see another 10 seasons of According to Jim.

5 – I want to see even more press coverage of A-Rod, Britney, Michael Steele, the women from the View, the decline in quality from Heroes, Madonna’s adoptions, the Obamas’ dogs, and whether or not anyone over the age of 14 cares what Miley Cyrus is doing.

OK – that out of the way, about the Amazing Race….

I was really, really hoping for a non-elimination leg here. Not only because it would have saved Mel and Mike, but because now with only four legs left before the Finale, that means this next leg will either be non-elimination or the first half of a Superleg. There is no drama about it at this point. They won’t eliminate the fifth place team in the next episode and then have four teams for three consecutive weeks. Well, not if they are smart they won’t.

Basically, Mel and Mike got tripped up because of bad advice and then the refusal to change their minds. They were clearly sent to the wrong place by their cab driver and once they started to get differing information from the locals at the beach, they were hesitant to change their plan. Would it have been enough time to overtake Kisha and Jen? Not sure, but obviously they were at the Detour at the exact same time. So it is not out of the realm of possibility.

So we are down to the Final Five. And Holy Beauty Queens Batman, we have a real shot at one or two all-female teams making the race to the finish. So far, only Lyn/Karlyn (AR10), Dustin/Kandice (AR11) and Charla/Mirna (AR11) have crossed the finish lines without a Y chromosome aboard. Two of the Final Five here in AR14 have a shot. Let’s take a quick look at them and the other three teams:

Jamie/Cara – In a season devoid of a villain, we are left with Jamie or Victor as the player to dislike. Both annoy me, but neither are truly classic reality villains. Victor has taken the Overbearing Route, while Jamie has taken the Ugly American Route. Her obsession with people from other countries speaking English is a little nutty. Did she not realize that she’d be traveling abroad? What did she think she was doing, going to five-star hotels in major cities and ordering room service? For such an attractive woman, her attitude is rather unattractive. It is also telling that she followed up her lament for Indian animals with the revelation that she would rather spend her days in the wild than with people.

Kisha/Jen – It was nice to see a little personality from them this week – even if it was in the form of short jokes at Mark/Michael’s expense. However, saying they are “bite size” for the tigers was kind of funny. I like these two, but they have been rather non-descript so far, other than Jen’s underwear revelation back in Siberia. Based on editing in the past, I would say that they are not getting a Finalist’s edit.

Tammy/Victor – They are getting a Finalist’s edit. They are certainly the favorite at this point to win as they have won several legs ever since their Transylvania meltdown. Although that episode shows they are one meltdown away from oblivion. If there was one, there could be another. However, who is really rooting for them? They are not very likable and based on what we heard from Tammy so far, the two of them have lived rather privileged lives.

Margie/Luke – In stark contrast, they are very likeable and rather relatable. Mother/son relationships do not get much attention not only in reality shows, but TV in general. And perhaps even in society as well. I had a wonderful relationship with my mother and I completely relate to these two. I am positive that if I was deaf that my mom would have been as fluent in sign as Margie and would have been as attentive and supportive as she is. I will NOT say that I am rooting for them – you know, Kiss of Death and all – but well, you know.

Mark/Michael – Zzzzzzzzz. Sorry. They may be the most boring team to ever make the Final Five. I mean, I STILL can’t tell them apart! The last one like that was Kami/Karli…the identical twin blondes from AR5. These guys are tough – I’ll give them that – and they seem nice enough. But boy are they boring and really not very funny. They tell way too many “dad” jokes – now keep in mind, in about 10 years my son will be saying the same thing about me – and we all know how funny “Lices and Germs” jokes are. Like with Kisha/Jen, can you see these two racing to the finish? It’s not like they have gotten a buffoon cut like the Frat Boys in the last race, but they have gotten a rather non-descript cut, which rarely translates into a Final Three slot.

I see a Final Three racing for the Finish – Tammy/Victor, Jamie/Cara, Margie/Luke.


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