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Amazing Race 14, Ep. 6 Commentary – First a Thong In Siberia, Now a Bra Full of Hay


I don’t know what was cooler this week:

1 – Watching Kisha stuff her shirt full of hay and hearing Jaime talk about her boobs being covered in hay.
2 – Watching some random Indian camel wrangler get kneecapped by said camel.
3 – Watching a man play two recorders with his nose.

Honestly, all three were dear to my heart.

Welcome to the India Episode. So many teams have fallen apart in India (think Nancy/Emily, the NFL wives, etc.) while others have seen momentum created here (Rob/Brennan, Reichen/Chip, Uchenna/Joyce). In this India trip, we may have seen one team start some upward mobility and perhaps the cracks forming in another. Remember, Phil hinted at a massive meltdown/argument between two teams on the Mat at some point this season. Well, half the season is gone and only six teams remain – could it be this combination?

Victor/Tammy – The brother/sister lawyer duo had a really, really good leg. They hit the ground running from the minute the plane landed in Jaipur and dominated until their first place finish. The only set backs were two hilarious moments when Victor ate some camel hay and when Tammy did a classic face first header into the ground at the roadblock. They followed the sacred tree clues properly even though no one else did and perhaps it is the cold-blooded lawyerness in each – heck, Victor once contributed to Mitt Romney, how compassionate can he be! – But they were not deterred by India’s many sad distractions. If Victor and Tammy win the Amazing Race, this could be the episode that started the victory.

Cara/Jaime – I still can’t tell them apart. However, I can identify the Killer Fatigue in them from a mile away. This is not the first time that the cheerleaders have gotten snippy with someone for not speaking English. I’ve said this before and will say it again – the Indian cabdriver has more of a beef with you not speaking Indian in his country than you have in him not speaking our language. Jaime lost it a bit watching India go by while she rode in the cab – however, unlike Luke who sobbed uncontrollably when he saw children eating garbage, Jaime seemed more moved by the plight of the animals. In India. Where cows are sacred and billions of people live among some of the worst cases of poverty in the civilized world. The animals got to her.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike the girls. I love how they seem to not have a filter stopping things coming out of their mouths. I love how they made a reference to Ghostbusters. How they rambled about what their cab driver was doing when he was “missing” – sightseeing, having a cup of coffee. I loved Jaime talking about her boobs as if they were sentient beings. And how the incessant honking of the horns was driving her mad as if she was in the Tell Tale Heart.

However, I do have a problem with people weeping for animals instead of people. It shows you have a heart, but a wildly misplaced one.

So the Final Six is set – there are a couple of non-elim legs left, and perhaps a Superleg as there are only three elimination points left and we’ve had only six episodes. I find this season curious. I am really enjoying it; however, unlike most good seasons it is not character-driven. What I mean is that most good reality shows have their stellar seasons because of the casting. This season, the teams are not as interesting, but the production, locations and tasks are outstanding. Kudos to the show for stepping up their game in Season 14.

Route Info

– I do not like to talk about this like a Racer’s sexual orientation – unless like Mel and Mike they wear it proudly – but is it me, or is the show trying to “out” Victor? I looked it up online in his bio and through Google and see no indication of gay or straight. However, my Gaydar is beeping about as madly as Indian cab drivers. And the show does things to imply it. In just this episode – he is glad to have “an opportunity to be out there” in the Pink City, he never “imagined myself putting on makeup.” Let’s not even talk about the excitement at seeing the ballet in Russia! Personally, I don’t care at all, however, it seems like the show does. I know I am not alone in noticing this – that Google search proved that to me – I just find it very distracting.

– Mike may be the writer, but Mel has just as many great lines as his son. This episode was chock full of White Humor (that’s their last name, no racial jokes here, thank you). Mel – “Russia is starting to look a lot better when you think of India.” Mel – “Would you fly on an airline named Kacca?” Mike – “Look at this Caravan of Fools.”

– And they were fools. I haven’t seen anyone so confused by telephones since I tried to show my dad how to use voice mail.

– Mel’s best line was not his funniest. After he lost his temper a bit with the cab driver, Mel said, “I’m gonna feel bad about that the rest of the day.” This on a show that once had (Christie) a contestant tell her cab driver to run people down. This on a show with a contestant (Kendra) condemning a whole nation for breeding. Mel has not only ridiculed the tendency of Racers to ask God for help in an earlier episode, but now he has actually shown compassion for one of the many hard working souls that manage to wander into this show each year. At this moment, I officially started rooting for Mr. and Mr. White. Which of course, is the kiss of death.

–Christie got off one good line before heading to Sequesterville – regarding the Tell Tale Horns – “I’d get the rockiest horn you ever had.”

– I’m not going to say anything else about the Racers Watch Indian Poverty Sequence that we get every year. It’s there. We have seen it. Anyone of us with a heart is moved by it. Children were eating garbage. What else can you say?


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