• The Toby is Mean package was boring – although I don’t remember him saying “potent pickle” before. Toby tries some explanation of how the mind of a critic works. Whatever.
Melissa is no longer Bangs. She has better hair now. I thought I would report that.
Hey look, it’s Lauren (better known as Tank Top) and Really Gay Patrick. Ok, that’s enough of them.
• Now for the tiresome Leah/Hosea “romance.” We get their flirting montage and just like during the other packages, we get a picture in picture of the chefs watching the video. Leah is cursing at it. Funny. Hosea says that alcohol, boredom and stress pretty much caused the kiss. Leah describes how the cameraman shot a window reflection to get the shot – very interesting. Stefan wonders why anyone even cares.
• Oh – Hosea’s relationship ended when he told his girlfriend about it. Leah’s lingered, but also ended. Are they together? After a very telling pause … no, because of the long-distance thing. Ariane – bless her – asks the obvious follow up of relocation. They don’t care to answer.
• Best Part of the Show #2 – The Stew Room. Just like last year, the Stew Room antics are classic. The choreographed leg flipping. The Glad bag beds. The Volleyball Court! The Basketball Court. Jamie with a pot on her head.
• Best Part of the Show #3 – The Drunk Judges Table. The mystery of the headbands is solved. Remember back during the Super Bowl challenge, the women came into the room all wearing goofy head bands? Well, it seems that Jamie and Leah were hammered. Leah did the Bat Dance in the Stew Room. As they left for judging, Jeff in all of his deadpan glory – “Those two chicks are hammered.” Hosea tried not to laugh during judging. Tom jokes that this is why they cut you off before the fourth quarter at football games. Leah – “Oh Snap!” And, “I’ve had, like, not a lot.” Padma – “Two words. National. Television.” I wish they showed that. It sure does explain the lack of any coverage of Leah’s judging in that episode.
• Montage of crying. Whatever.
• Someone asked Stefan how he got so cocky. Come on.
• The Stefan/Jamie non-romance. Come on. Although the clips of Stefan commenting on how hot Gail and Padma are? Classic. The shot of Stefan’s stunned look when Padma came in during the infamous “chilly” outfit she was wearing. You know. Double Classic. It was a Jack Tripper double take. And that’s three!!!!
• Best Part of the Show #4 – The nicknames. Pocket Chef. Patrick. Big Gay Rich. Um, Richard. Don Sorbet Johnson. Jeff. I am still laughing at that one. Ho Fo Sure. Leah. Eh. Coogs. Ariane – short for cougar. Of course, Stefan gave her the name. She gets an “I’m a cougar in the kitchen” t-shirt.
• Gail’s wedding? Daniel Boulud cooked. Wow.
• Jamie as a complainer. Boo.
• Jeff’s quote about Tom’s food boring – misquoted. Sure. Jeff does lament how each episode showed him shirtless at some point. The vast majority of Bravo viewers would disagree.
• Best Part of the Show #5 – The bald men. Of course, as a future bald man, I must appreciate this. It was worth it for Jeff’s line during the surprise visit from Tom in the middle of the night – “all I could see was a shiny head.” Gail remembers during the finale looking around and seeing Hosea, Tom, Stefan and Toby and thinking that she and Padma were outnumbered.
• The Fabio package – Not as funny as Fabio. Even if we did get the reprise of the “monkey ass in a clam shell” and “it doesn’t matter how many dragons you kill, it’s who brings home the princess” lines.
• Fabio is fan favorite. Shock. Dude has a major future in front of him. And he’s William Shatner’s personal chef. He cooks for Captain Kirk. How cool is that?
• Um…did Alex say a single word in this reunion?