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Top Chef: New York, Finale Recap – The Final Battle of the Bald Men and Their Hairy Sous Chef

Top Chef: New York, Finale Recap – The Final Battle of the Bald Men and Their Hairy Sous Chef


Previously – The Season. Hosea and Finn battled and were rivals. Carla gained late steam. Finn got overconfident and almost went home, but Fabio went instead.

Credits – None apart from Padma’s new voice-over.

New Orleans. Finn brushes his teeth, Carla does The Worm. Really. It must be yoga, but part of me wants to think she is doing some old school breakdancing. Hosea feels the pressure mounting. The three have brunch on the Creole Queen ship. I think I saw a drag show once in Manhattan headlining the Creole Queen. Carla is impressed that she is one of the last three of the original 17. “In a word, wow,” she says, and I agree. I never saw it coming with her. Hosea is pleased to have done every challenge. I agree that would be a nice part of reaching the Finals of any show. Carla thinks she has momentum and if she delivers her food, she has a good chance to win. Hmmm…is Top Chef foreshadowing?

Hosea says that Finn and Carla already own their own businesses while he works for someone else in a small town. Boulder just said, “what?” Small town? Mother Abigail made her last Stand here. Mork from Ork landed her for goodness sake!

Finn laments the end of Team Euro and is pissed off about it. He felt he did better than Hosea in the Emeril-judged challenge. He then mocks his substantial lead over Hosea in elimination challenge wins and tells Hosea in the confessional to get the eff out of there and to “go back to effing Colorado.” Now all of Colorado says, “Back off, Kaiser Cocky or we’ll sic John Elway on you.”

At the New Orleans Historic Collection…my girl Padma is there. Sigh. I’ll miss her until Season Six. Tom tells the chefs to cook the best three-course meal of their lives. They are to put “passion, fire and soul” into the meal – and of course, be delicious. They will serve each course head-to-head and dessert is optional. Finn is excited about the challenge, but is wondering what the eff to make.

They will cook at Commander’s Palace – one of the most famous and prestigious restaurants in New Orleans. Hosea says that it is an old restaurant but it manages to stay current. 12 judges and guest chefs will judge the challenge. They will have two hours to prep at the Audubon Tea Room and three hours to cook at the restaurant.

Oh yeah, there will be some help.

Down the runway come Richard, Marcel and Casey – finalists from the past three seasons. And my favorite contestants in each season. Well, Rich was probably my co-favorite with Steph. And yes, I liked Marcel. I know I am alone with that. Casey? Smokin’ hot. I know – I’m shameless. So what. Hosea is excited as each of the three true All-Stars could have easily won their seasons. Tom agrees and thinks that the fact they came so close will help impart some valuable knowledge.

They draw knives to select an All-Star to be their sous chef for the challenge. Hosea wins the draw and after stating to us in his confessional that Marcel was too much like Finn, Hosea does the smart thing and takes Richard. Finn instantly picks Marcel and says that people don’t like Marcel and he can be a bit of a tw*t, but he can cook. That means Carla gets Casey. Carla confesses that Casey’s meticulousness is why she wants her as her sous chef. That, and losing the knife draw, of course.

They head to the kitchen to get their ingredients and we begin the Great Foie Gras Controversy. Hosea grabs up all of the foie gras and Finn is pissed. Hosea says that “you know dude, I got it first,” and he is certainly right about that. Finn? He’s still pissed. Hosea offers to go halvsies and Finn is all “whatever, thanks buddy, I appreciate it.” He’s totally going to spread a rumor about him in study hall.

Hosea rambles on about his menu – but we’ll get into that later. It seems that the only thing better than the Great Foie Gras Controversy is its sequel – the Hoarding of the Caviar. It seems that Hosea and Richard have gathered all of that up as well. Rich tells us that he knows the pressure Hosea is under and that despite what happened to him last season, he is going to help Hosea win. By the way – what’s with the crazy Doc Brown hair, Rich?

Carla goes off on her menu for a bit and all we need to say right now about it is that it is a French theme. The important thing is that Casey has brought her ideas with her and is acting like a stage mom and is getting Carla to fight Casey’s battles for her. She has convinced Carla to make her beef “sous-vide” – cooked in a vacuum bag. Something that Carla has never done before. Because that is what you want to do – try something new in the Finals. Hosea notices immediately that Casey has done some sort of Jedi Mind Trick on Carla.

Marcel apparently can speak Finn as he makes sense of the instructions to make “rare on one side…boom, boom.” Finn tells us that his mom was a chef for 42 years. Impressive.

The cooking frenzy continues and turns into hugs and glasses of wine. Amazingly enough…Marcel has yet to speak on camera. Which means we have no Marcel raps either. That’s just sad for us all.

Commercials – the Extra Scene – the chefs get a Voo Doo lady to come and read their fortune. Finn comments that she has bones and everything. He asks if there is a woman named Jamie in his love life. Finn – SHE IS A LESBIEN. She is REALLY not into you. He has a better shot with the Voo Doo Lady.

Commander’s Palace. Tom is waiting for them with a display of ingredients. Hosea knows that there is always a Finale twist and this is theirs. They are getting an appetizer course added for tray service. Carla says her butterflies are becoming bats in her stomach. The three ingredients shown are crabs, red fish and alligator. Finn thinks gator is a “wacky meat.”


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