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And THIS Is Why I Love Confessions Of A Teen Idol: It's An Addiction

Confessions of a Teen Idol ended this week, and I was not going to write about it anymore, but then I found an email in my inbox that prompted me once again to do so. Seriously, Renee needs to write her own column here. So one final time, let’s delve into former-teen-idoldom, complete with concrete facts (supplied by Renee—I’m still the lazy writer who likes to guess as stuff).

First, Renee (I’ve given up on calling her the alleged Renee; if someone is going to put in this kind of effort she has to either be for real or be a nutloaf, and I’m going with the former), tells me that at the beginning of the episode where Chris Atkins disappears, he says he’s going to his little sister’s wedding. I missed that. I watched it twice and I missed that. So that’s where he was, and that’s why no one was bothered by his disappearance. Phew. I was terrified that he had disappeared and no one cared to send out a search party.

Then, Renee once again clears up the Eric Nies debacle. In her first email, she said something about a list of people and EN being on top of the list. I [b][url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/magazine/article.php?articleid=1223]thought she meant that Scott Baio and Jason Hervey had EN at the top of their list, but she was really saying that VH1 had him on the top of theirs.[/url][/b] Gotcha. So EN is on the show because VH1 wants him on the show. That still doesn’t clear up why, since, as I said [b][url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/magazine/article.php?articleid=1250]barely one week ago[/url][/b], he doesn’t fit into anything else the show offers. She also had a grand time hanging with EN and his family in New York. I thought they were from Jersey, but it’s been more than a few years since the original The Real World New York aired and people sometimes move. She also said that EN has shaved his head. I saw him on Tyra with shorter hair. I like it non-shaggy, so a bald Eric may be a sexy Eric. Mmm, mmm, mmm, EN is sexy no matter what.

Next, Renee tells me I’m being hard on Jamie Walters who I think I know. I don’t think I know him. In fact, I’m quite aware I don’t know any of these people. If I did, I wouldn’t write about them. What fun would that be? If I knew them and I wanted to write about them, I’d give them all cryptic code names and no one would really care. So, to clear things up, I’m well aware I don’t know any of them. I also said that I thought the editing might be the culprit for making him seem hung up on his song from so many years ago. I said that he’s better than that one song. I’m all for the Jamie Walters comeback on the music scene. Renee also brings up that he’s a hero firefighter. Okay, while that was not on my radar at all, I agree that firefighters are heroes as are police officers, corrections officers, EMTs, and any other people who have jobs during which they risk their lives to save the lives of others. I could never do something like that. I mean, I’ve taken a CPR course, but I fear the day I have to use that knowledge. Plus, I’m terrified to strike a match. I shit you not.

Renee also reports that Billy has lost weight and grown his hair longer. Okay, yeay for Billy.

Now that we have all the behind-the-scenes reality, let’s get to the finale. The following information is based solely on my viewing of the finale and has nothing to do with actual facts.

Scott Baio and Jason Hervey have set up some meetings for the guys as a way to segue from the show into the real world of fame.

Billy Hufsey will meet with Desmond Child. Omigod, that’s the guy who co-wrote a lot of Bon Jovi songs. I know he’s written with so many other people, but that’s my wheelhouse. VH1 will also make a music video for the song Billy wrote about the show that will air on their website. This is the point when I started to well up. I’m such a sucker. He so wants to be relevant again. He’s so determined and he’s gotta do well because he has a great voice.

Jeremy Jackson is getting to work with a publicist, whom he plans to work to the bone. He’s also being a host on a VH1 countdown show. I saw EN and Chris Atkins make a guest appearance on a countdown show the other day, and Jeremy might have been on too, so he seems to be on the way back to fame quickly.

Eric Nies gets a publisher and a production crew for his book and his documentary. I admire Eric for not only wanting to give back to the world, but actually doing it. He is inspiring. I’m happy he was never Robin in a Batman movie. If that had happened, he may have never gone the way of putting love out into the world.

Jamie Walters gets a meeting with Nickelodeon’s music person to write a song for an upcoming show as well as studio time. (Oh—one more piece of actual concrete fact—Renee reports that Jamie Walters is doing great in the country scene already!).

David Chokachi (did I spell it right? finally?) gets a private session for a boot camp to be a host and a meeting with a programming exec at FX. Ooh, he’d do really well on an FX show.

Adrian Zmed gets one night at a theatre to bring his one-man show to Hollywood. I want to see it! He also gets a meeting with Nickelodeon to discuss being on an upcoming series. He has such a peaceful happiness about him. I would guess that anyone who’s around him wants to always be around him.

Chris Atkins gets offered a role in an upcoming pilot without having to audition. His daughter cries. I start tearing up again. Awwww, shucks.

While they may no longer be teen idols, they may find fame in a new way.

Finally, I’d like to point out that in her most recent email, Renee did not call me a dummy. Awwww, shucks, again. I think I may have won her over yet.


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