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And THIS Is Why I Love Reality TV: (Alleged) Renee (aka Alleged Mrs. Baio) Gives Me An Email Smackdown



At the end of all my columns, I open up to any further banter about what I’ve written. Sometimes readers do chat in the forums. On the rare occasion, I get an email. Usually, the email is one of seething animosity about my opinions in which the emailer insults me, hates me, and wishes me the worst because I apparently can’t have opinions. On the rarer occasion, I get email from people who want to say hey, actually like what I wrote, or happened to be the focus of what I was writing that week, aka a reality personality.

Last week, I received an email that was a combination of good and bad. The emailer did not like what I had to say about VHDumb’s Teen Idol show. However, the emailer showed class and intelligence by stating facts and declaring a passionate defense of one Scott Baio while never stooping to a string of curses and abuse (but at one point referring to me as a dummy). I didn’t plan on writing about the Confessions show again this season, but this email struck my fancy because it was from someone who loves Scott Baio. By love, I mean loves and is in love with him; the emailer claims to be Renee, Scott Baio’s wife. I don’t know if it is really her. It could be. It’s from either the real wife of Scott Baio or from someone who loves Scott Baio so much as to pretend to be his wife and defend him.

I will not take back [b][url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/magazine/article.php?articleid=1215]anything I said about Confessions[/url][/b]. I will, however, point out some of the facts about the show brought to my attention by the (alleged) wife of Scott Baio, who also referred to herself as the buddy of Meghan, fellow Shack writer. Perhaps Meghan will be able to help out with the details. In the meantime, let me do a point by point rundown of stuff that was left out and then I’ll explain later why I’m doing it.

Point: (Alleged) Renee asks me if it ever occured to me that Teen Idol wasn’t Jason Hervey’s idea, but the idea belonged to Michael and Scott Baio.

Counterpoint: No. I just like to think of Jason Hervey as the great guru mind behind these shows because until the VH1 Scott Baio shows, I hadn’t thought about Jason Hervey in a very long time and it occurred to me instead that perhaps Jason Hervey has been running the universe since The Wonder Years and we’ve all been his pawns.

Conclusion: Scott and Jason are indeed producing partners and as part of the package, they have to appear on the show but also gave their list of who should be on the show. Scott now has more time to be off screen, which is where he’d rather be.

Point: (Alleged) Renee informs me that Eric was on the top of their list because he was on MTV for years, “duh.”

Counterpoint: I know that. I said that. I also explained that he, according to what I think of when I define teen idol, doesn’t fit the mold. Perhaps it’s because his fame came from reality tv while everyone else’s fame came from acting, singing, and dancing, basically performing. Eric did perform on The Grind as a host, but his true stardom came from The Real World, which was one of my favorite shows, and his season is still the best.

Conclusion: Eric Nies is a teen idol according to J&S’s definition, and still not by mine. Plus, ever helpful pop-culture guru and fellow Shacker, Heather, pointed out in the forums that indeed Eric was used by his manager and MTV helped him out by having him on the challenge shows. I wondered why he was on the show and Heather helped out in the forums and now (Alleged) Renee has helped out more. That was the point of my questioning.

Point: (Alleged) Renee says that most writers do a little thing called research before writing about a show.

Counterpoint: I’m not most writers. I’m incredibly lazy. That’s why I write an opinion column based on nothing more than gut reactions and sarcasm. I do not do research. I occasionally look up how to spell people’s names, and even then, I usually give up if I don’t find it quickly and then spell it ten different ways. That’s why I welcome readers to follow up through email and chat.

Conclusion: The column is an opinion column and mostly fodder from hung over or drunken banter, not to be taken seriously. At all.

Point: (Alleged) Renee reminds me of Scott Baio’s many hats as actor, writer, singer, producer, and director to also remind me that he’s never gone away, and then requests to see my many hats. She also says that he’s one of the few who have made it through fame without blowing it all on coke throughout several decades.

Counterpoint: Scott Baio has not gone away, but he was, at one time, out of the spotlight. That’s not a bad thing, and I’m not claiming that it is. However, the VH1 shows put his name back on the pop culture map again. All celebrities go through ebbs and flows of celebritydom. To say that a celebrity has gone through a period of not being popular is not an insult; it’s a reality. Being behind the camera sometimes means giving up part of the spotlight. That doesn’t discredit anyone at all. Plus, dude needs to make money.

As for my many hats, I don’t wear hats. My head is an abnormal shape and no hat ever truly looks right on me. Seriously, when I wear a hat, people look at me strangely and they know something’s wrong but they can’t quite put their finger on it and then I take off the hat and all is well with the world.

If we’re not talking literal hats and we mean jobs, I’m a writer, professor, yoga instructor, aerobics instructor, body conditioning instructor, pilates instructor, and competitive drinker. Okay, that last one isn’t true but a gal can dream.

I applaud Scott Baio for not becoming a coke head. I don’t know where that point came from, but there it is and it’s a very good thing.

Conclusion: Scott Baio has a better head for hats than I do.

Point: (Alleged) Renee is personally upset by my musings about future shows on VH1 starring Scott Baio in his 70s.

Counterpoint: I really don’t know how to respond to that other than to ask, really? THAT’S what really made you mad? I seriously didn’t even think that was anything that would ever cause any harm. I do think somewhat about what I’m writing and that did not read as vicious in my mind. If it read vicious in anyone else’s, that is not the intent.

Conclusion: Scott Baio is not in his 70s so we’ll all cross that bridge when it comes.

Point: (Alleged) Renee calls me a DUMMY!

Counterpoint: Okay, I’ve actually been called worse, but I think I’m kinda on the smart side.

Conclusion: I’m a smart person who does dumb shit all the fucking time.

So there’s the rundown. Hopefully any confusion has dissipated. It’s not my style to defend what I’ve said in any column, but here I felt that everything needed to be cleared up for several reasons.

Reason 1: I emailed her back but it was right before I left for Mexico so I’m not sure if I sent the email out so here it is to prove that I didn’t delete it.

Reason 2: If that column enraged one reader, I figured there may be more, so it’s good to get it out at once.

Reason 3: I can use this column to remind people that humor is not meant to be taken seriously. Even those with a good sense of humor can sometimes take offense to certain things that are close to home, so a deep breath and a quick email can work to take the edge off. Plus, anyone who takes me seriously in this column needs to check out my [b][url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/magazine/artindex.php?category=41]open letters to Bret Michaels[/url][/b]. I really make an ass of myself over there.

Reason 4: I truly did not think I was berating Scott Baio in that column. In fact, I thought it was clear that I pretty much love Scott Baio. I didn’t think it was a bad thing to point out that people cannot get enough of him. That email and this column only prove the whole point I was trying to make: People cannot get enough of Scott Baio.

I’m not backpedaling. The real reason I’m writing this whole thing is to say this: despite all the drawbacks and nonsense that goes on in reality television, the email I received is proof that cameras and a television show are of no matter if true love is involved. That email was passionate and defended not the writer of the email, but someone the writer loves with her all.

In fact, I have this picture in my head of Renee reading that column and getting angrier and angrier with every word and then going back and copiously taking notes about what’s most heinous. Then in walks Scott Baio and he puts a hand on her shoulder and is like, Honey, you can’t get angry at everyone who says crap about me, and she’s like, No way, Scott! This is over the line! I’m going to write a very strong email! And then she types all hunched over the keyboard and furious. It’s really very endearing.

That’s probably not what happened at all. As I said before, there’s a very good chance that it’s not even really her and it’s someone who loves him. Again, proving that people cannot get enough of Scott Baio. Which was my point. Hopefully, that’s clear by now. Hopefully, you all realize that this is not sarcasm right now, it’s sincerity, and I know that it’s sometimes difficult to tell the difference through reading.

To take a step back to the previous column format….

[b]And THIS is why I love reality tv[/b]: (Alleged) Renee left me with this final thought in her email and it certainly begs to be repeated as the mantra of our favorite genre: “Perfect people aren’t REAL and REAL people aren’t Perfect.” I know I’m not perfect as proven in my weekly fumblings. I know no one is. I like reality tv because it shows exactly that.

If you’d like to chime in or if you know where I can get a nice hat for an abnormally shaped head, send me an email and [b][url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=2574&forum=13&post_id=41132#forumpost41132]chat in the forums[/url][/b].

If you’d like to see why I know I’m far from perfect, come [b][url=http://christinamrau.blogspot.com]live the dream with me, and ah what a dream it is.[/url][/b].

If you’d like to forget about this whole mess and delve into a fantasy world, then check out [b][url=http://www.xanga.com/getmoregossipgirl]Get More Gossip Girl[/url][/b], [b][url=http://www.xanga.com/thenew90210]The New 90210[/url][/b], and [b][url=http://theunromancingofroma.blogspot.com]The Unromancing of Roma[/url][/b].


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