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Top Chef: New York, Episode 5 – Love and Marriage, Goes Together Like, um, a Random Collection of Sushi Ingredients?


More cooking. Tom thinks this challenge is very personal and is with a tough foodie crowd. Team Blue is trying to make blue food, but the dish is not very exciting and can easily get lost in the shuffle. Team New…”boy, it’s out there…It’s either going to be spectacular or horrible.”

Pouring. Rice. Banging with a pan. Eugene is using some tricks to save his ruined rice. He has used spices and whatnot and turned it into chili pepper sticky rice. I think I speak for all of us when I say; we are rather dubious of that.

Mixing. Tasting. Leah wants something “crunchier.” Melissa thinks they need pizzazz. Hosea is worried that he never got to taste Finn’s dish, “what if it tastes like crap mixed in your mouth.” Well, then Finn will be going home, Mr. Immunity. Don’t worry.

Time.

Back at the House. NY Daniel is lifting weights in front of everyone. Like it’s a performance or something. Weird. Eugene has come up with the brilliant – I’m sorry, awful – idea that the guests can build their own sushi roll. Finn asks how you serve that and Eugene gets upset. Finn tells us that women don’t like to make their own food, or to touch things. He sure doesn’t want to.

Commercials – In the extra scene, Finn is flirting with Jamie in her bunk. He suggests that if she wins a challenge, then he gets a kiss. She can’t believe they are having this conversation. No one really can believe it.

Speaking of flirting, Hosea and Leah are flirting while playing cards. However, each have significant others back home, but Hosea is happy to have a good friend in the game. Glad Bravo gave us all of those extra scenes about them flirting and hinting at more. Nice, I bet their loved ones were thrilled with that.

Fabio got married two years ago and we see an amazing picture of him and his bride. He knows the shower is really important – “you don’t want to piss off a bride before her wedding.” Not during, or after, my Italian friend. The Nanny shows her family picture and talks about working many an event like this. She wishes she was invited.

The event is at 24 Fifth Avenue – a really nice looking place. Radhika is nervous that food may not match the venue. Gail comes in and looks really nice in a flowered print. Padma comes in and WHOA CLEAVAGE! Holy crap. That will be distracting me for the rest of this episode; I apologize for any food mistakes. BTW – Gail seems to be trying to compete with her, too. Gail jokes about all the “hot looking ladies” at the party.

Team Old is plating and Hosea is worried about all of their little components. He wants them to think, “how could it get even better than this?” Padma thanks all of the “beautiful women” for coming and how much they all love Gail and how lucky Jeremy is. Hey now! Watch it, my wife looked right at me when you said that.

Tom comes in the kitchen because he is not allowed at the party. Ew. Boys. Fabio is nervous because Tom is intimidating, it’s like being a “priest and the Pope is in the room.”

Team Old presents the first course and Hosea’s hands are shaking so much the glass is rattling on the plate. He is also wearing a “bacon is a vegetable” t-shirt. I may be rooting for Hosea.

The Guest Judge is Food and Wine Editor-in-Chief Dana Cowin. Jeff is really nervous now. He made the heirloom tomato Carpaccio and sorbet, using a “sliced simple Cherokee.” Hosea made the heirloom tomato gazpacho with mint, watermelon and cucumber salsa. Finn made the Heirloom tomato, wrapped in eggplant and basil terrine.

Jordan Rowland – Food and Wine Assistant event Coordinator loves the gazpacho. Shanette Vega White – Food and Wine Promotion Manager loves the sorbet. Tom ate Finn’s entire dish and Finn is feeling pretty good. Jocelyn Morse-Farmerie - Gail’s friend – is “down with the heirloom guy.” That would be all of them. Diella Koberstein – Food and Wine Merchandising Manager thinks something was bland. Gail really liked Jeff’s dish.

Eugene describes the choice they are providing with the Make Your Own Sushi as similar to Gail’s choice to “get along with her husband’s family.” NY Daniel’s hands are massaging mushrooms in water. I just got a little sick. He is putting mushrooms underneath Carla’s salad. WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE! Just for that, he deserved to go home. Carla is stunned by this. Hosea is helping them and wonders why there are so many components on their plate. NY Daniel says that the plate has “a little crunch of this, a little splooge of that.” I don’t ever want to think about Daniel’s splooge. Ever.

Daniel thinks that the women will “love it, dance with it, take off their clothes and eat.” Now we know what kind of porno he would make if he could. Eugene tells the guests that sushi doesn’t have to be raw. However, he fails to tell them how to eat their Tempura shrimp, beef skewer, with peach miso BBQ sauce and yuzu sorbet. NY Daniel explains that his sorbet is there to cleanse the palate. Thanks for explaining the concept of intermezzo to a bunch of professional foodies, Dan. Oh, try to explain why you are serving a dish that melts with your actual meal. Thanks for that.

We get a small montage of the guests trying to figure out how to eat this monstrosity. Robin Yinsley of Robin Yinsley Associates is baffled. Gail thinks the shrimp is cold. Dana is confused as well. Gail hopes her married life is better than this.

Jamie is pouring out her puree in a GIANT POT. Goodness, she looks like a hobbit in that shot. And is it me or does Jamie keep making soups, purees and other liquids? Team Borrowed discovers that The Nanny’s lamb is not cooked. They only have 14 minutes left. Jamie is freaking out. The lamb is really rare. With 10 minutes left, Jamie suggests plating it anyway. Hosea tells them they have an assembly line ready to help and be really fast. They elect to give the lamb two more minutes. They plate this rather gorgeous looking dish in about seven minutes. Wow, that was impressive.


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