Hosea is seasoning his canned crabs. This will not end well. Jill doesn’t want Tom to have to wait for her. Carla’s crust does not seem to be perfect. The Nanny is running around asking everyone to taste her meringue. Richard honestly tells her it is too sweet, Carla says “it has all the flavors” which is really not telling her anything, and Radhika thinks that it is “tart enough.” The Nanny says that this is what she made and this is what she is going to serve. No matter how crappy it is.
The loser chefs arrive and sit down. One talks about not using any butter in his cooking. Another talks about the menu… oh, SHUT UP ALL OF YOU. Ok, folks. I refuse to transcribe what these losers are talking about. I’ll sum up: they hate everything and think they could have done a better job. Go home – you don’t even get 15 minutes of fame. You get a sound byte.
Tom tells the real chefs that he will be expediting with his restaurant’s head chef. Alex and his hat say that they are representing Tom so they better be on their game. Alex, don’t make me miss Spike. You are no Spike. Tom tells them all to not put the tasting spoon back in the food. My God, I hope none of them do that! Is that seriously a problem?
Padma, Donatella and Gail enter and hot ladies are in the house! Really, the three of them look really, really nice here. Something is overflowing on the stove as we start in with the dishes.
Elimination challenge dishes
More assholery from the failed chefs.
Tom tastes everything in the back as they all look on anxiously. He comes back out and says that they all did fine, except the food was not so good. That’s a really big “except,” Tom! He says they set New American cuisine back 20 years. So, I guess Leah’s presentation is contemporary now.
Commercials. Is it wrong that I have no desire to see Twilight? Although I am happy Cedric Diggory seems to have recovered nicely.
Tom is clearly pissed because he has taken Padma’s duty of going back to the Stew Room to get the chefs. He repeats his insults from five minutes ago. He brings out Jamie, The Nanny, Fabio, Carla, Jill and Hosea. The rest of you… are safe.
Fabio: “Honestly, I don’t know. I did, you know, some filet mignon, best quality meat ever, best Parmesan cheese, five years aged, six years aged balsamic vinegar. Every week I sell hundred of those exact plate in my restaurant in California. And it’s a big success. I don’t know. You tell me why I’m here.”
That was pretty awesome. Fabio seems to be a bit sensitive, no? That may be interesting in later weeks.
Jamie – Padma says they all liked her dish. Tom thought it was not overpowering and that the chili added some nice heat at the end. Gail thought it had surprising texture and tasted like “nice, pure, fresh corn.”
Donatella gives the win to Fabio who confesses later in Italian that he won. Whatever. He is tied with Finn now. Whatever times two.
Hosea is asked what he was thinking. He wanted to make a “light, refreshing dish.” He thought it was a winner. Padma said that the Bitter Brigade all seemed to comment on his. It was too sweet; it was missing a lot of salt, etc. Gail just thought it was “off.” Tom said it wasn’t seasoned well and that all of the ingredients should have worked. But it didn’t.
The Nanny – Gail said it didn’t stand out. The Nanny thinks that she was playing it safe. Padma tells her about the spitting. Really, nothing more needs to be said there.
Jill thinks she took on too much with the giant egg. Tom thinks that she didn’t do enough with it. Gail said it didn’t taste well and didn’t go together. Jill thinks the pressure is getting to her. In Week 2. Then she uncorks this Paula Abdul/George W. Bush level of babbling to defend her work:
“Um, I think I understand the mistakes that I made today, but just the pressure, the time, had the idea and tried to execute it the best I could, with it.”
Tom has a great reaction shot to that one.
In the Stew Room, they grill each other for insight. Leah wants to know if they thought everything sucked. Pretty much. Richard says they didn’t really do modern American.
Tom found it odd that Hosea thought he was winning. Gail again can’t figure out what she didn’t like. Padma says that we know what she thinks about The Nanny, who in turn is whining back in the Stew Room. Gail thinks that Jill’s Bushian speech was the “lamest defense of a dish in five seasons.” Jill thinks she actually defended it, but admits to not thinking straight. Not quick on her feet, that one. Tom reiterates that the ingredient wasn’t the problem, it was Jill that was the problem. They come to a decision, one that I think was split due to Padma’s spitting.
Commercials. Poll results: 65% thought is was a bad choice for Jill.
Tom tells the Bottom Three that they must stand out better. Hosea was complacent and that would make him yesterday’s news in New York. The Nanny was so-so and that is never enough. Jill had a good idea but didn’t follow through.
Padma knifes Jill and they all seem slightly surprised. I think they all thought The Nanny was gone. Jill again misses the point and thinks the egg was the problem. The Nanny is in tears and thinks she doesn’t deserve to be there. She’s right. But neither does Jill. Crazy Carla comforts her.
Next week: Thanksgiving for the Foo Fighters. Seriously. That’s happening.