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And THIS Is Why I Love Reality TV: Yeah, I Watch The Hills



I admit it. I watch “The Hills.” I text people about how awfully JustinBobby treats Audrina and how unbelievably childish Lo can be. I never watched Laguna Beach. I didn’t get it and couldn’t get into it. I would throw things at the television when it came on. I tried to resist The Hills. I wanted to hate it as much as I loathed Laguna. I don’t though. I can’t stop watching.

First off, it’s kinda hard to not watch The Hills considering the amount of air time it has on MTV. It’s on every other hour.

Secondly, it’s not that difficult to follow. Here’s a recap of what happened last episode:

Heidi’s sister Holly goes to lunch with Lauren even though Spenser, who’s acting like her dad, says she can’t hang out with Lauren. Heidi feels like her sister went behind her back. Lauren tells Whitney that she’s going to lunch with Holly but doesn’t want to break up a family. Then Lauren tells Stephanie the same thing, and that she misses a best friend but doesn’t want to be friends again. Audrina is in charge of a work party and Lauren shows up with Lo and Stephanie, but JustinBobby doesn’t show up even though he says he will. Audrina tells her co-worker that she can’t get her feelings involved with him because he doesn’t show he cares.

That was the episode. The whole half hour. I could mention all the filler in between scenes of shots of hot spots in Hollywood and exterior shots of apartments and jobs that linger there with subtitles to fill up time. I could go on for pages and pages with commentary, as in: Why does Holly still have Lauren’s cell number when she hasn’t spoken to her in years AND why does she go through the whole “you look great and how have you been?” when it’s obvious what Lauren’s been up to since she’s on this show? That’s not even the half of it. You should hear what I say to the television when Spenser’s on screen.

Really, each episode could be about ten minutes.

Whoever thinks this show is scripted needs to watch a little bit more closely. There’s not a lot of effort here by way of words. There’s a lot of gazing off into the distance, staring at each other in anger, peeking at others in flirtation, and lots of sitting and eating. They are ALWAYS going out to dinner. The conversations are the same. How many times have we heard Audrina say she and JustinBobby have fun together but.

The soundtrack is crazy. Every few seconds, a new song plays. Now MTV subtitles what song is playing and by what artist. Of course, every show begins with “Unwritten” and ends with that quirky chiming music that I’m pretty sure is from either the Grand Canyon episode or the Hawaii episode of The Brady Bunch. Which is awesome.

It’s okay. You can admit that you watch The Hills, too. Email me. Chat in the forums.

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