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Project Runway 5, Episode 7 – I Had To Stuff Her Underwear With Muslin


The night is over and we are back in the rooms. Stella gets on the product placement phone and calls her boyfriend, Ratbones. That’s right. Ratbones. He asks if she is being “bad assed” and she tells him that the competition is “seriously so mentally, emotionally and physically out of control.” She wants to win so she can “spread her wings and fly” and “expose” more of her. That would take this in a totally different direction.

Elimination Day. Korto is not going down without a fight. They head back to Parsons and someone says that it looks like a tire auto shop in there. Tom sends in the models and does his lengthy Blufly product placement speech. Leanne strips her model and Korto is calm. Keith tells his model not to sit down because the dress is very tight. You know you messed up when you are asking a Size Zero not to move because the dress is too tight. In the makeup room, Joe is coaching the artists and Jarelle thinks his model’s hair will kick ass.

10 minutes left. Keith’s model tells him that they made her sit down in the makeup room and there is a tear. He is pissed and says that he gave “a model a small task and hoped that she could follow directions.” He knows that it is a competition for her, but that there is “so much more at stake for me.” Hey Keith, how do you manage to hold steady with the entire world revolving around you?

Blayne wants to “kick it into high gear, Saturn VUE style.” Leanne is stuffing her model’s underwear with muslin to keep the shape of the dress. Kenley does final touchups as everyone heads to the runway.

Commercials – That stupid Bravo poll! How I hate you so.

Runway. I use slo-mo to stretch out Heidi’s entrance as long as I can. One day you are in, the next day, you are out. I like that line. Judges are Top American Designer Michael Kors (the best reality judge this side of Simon Cowell), and filling in for Nina Garcia is Season Three Finalist Laura Bennett! Hey, Laura. I LOVED her that season. And Top Stylist and new Bravo “star” Rachel Zoe. Oh, Bravo/NBC, is there no end to your cross promotion?

Here we go…

1. Jerell Scott – Seat Covers, Carpets, Resin Moldings, Metal dashboard trim. The model has I Dream of Jeannie hair that is somewhat distracting. The outfit is wildly short and over the top, but it is clearly innovative. It does look wearable. I feel that it is not nearly as good as the judges tend to think, but it is still impressive.

2. Keith Bryce – Seat Covers, Cushions, Cargo Netting. It is ugly. Real shoddy looking as well. He doesn’t think it looks like it came from a car. True, but still ugly.

3. Terri Stevens – Seat Covers, Carpets, Cushions, Cargo Netting. With almost the same exact components as Keith, hers is infinitely better. It looks like something Stella would make. It would be in my top three for the week.

4. Kenley Collins – Air Filters, Seat Covers, Seat Belts, Window Shades. It is nice and seems well made. She thinks it is wearable, but I can’t see where you would wear this outside if a 1984 Junior Prom. Kenley is just lucky to survive this week considering the model problems.

5. Leanne Marshall – Seat Covers, Seat Belts, Cushions. It is really short, but it is gorgeous. She made a real dress made out of a car. It is “chic and cozy” and seems to have come out of nowhere from Leanne. Great job.

6. Suede – Floor Mats, Sun Visors, Cargo Netting, Seat Covers. Boy is this shiny. I think he did a solid job in creating it, even if I think it is rather ugly. Very middle of the road.

7. Korto Momolu – Seat Belts only. She has woven together seat belts into a kind of full length jacket. It works a lot more than I ever thought it would. I give her big props for the craftsmanship, but I don’t think it is all that pretty and it is probably really uncomfortable.

8. Blayne Walsh – Seat Belts and Mirrors. He calls it different and it is. It is also really poorly constructed on top, although I do like the design with the broken mirror. The skirt, well, Kors nails it a little later.

9. Joe Faris – Seat Covers, Cushions, Seat Belts, Car Logo. He calls it a motocross dress. I think Joe took this challenge off. It is nice, but really not good or bad.

10. Stella B. Zotis – Seat Belts, Seat Covers, Seat Backs, Carpet, Keys. I kind of like the skirt, but it looks like she’s going to burst out of it. The top and skirt look like they belong in two different outfits.

Heidi calls out Terri, Suede, Joe, and Kenley. They are safe. I assume the order of placement was Terri, Kenley, Suede and Joe. But that’s just my opinion. The models come out and we get the explanations.

Jarelle was drawn to the resin moldings and felt it was cool and futuristic. Kors thought it was over the top and appropriate. Heidi thinks it was exciting and wearable.

Blayne found piles of belts already draped over each other and got inspired. Laura found it distracting. Kors thought it was really odd and didn’t like the car wash skirt. HA! Exactly. Kors has been the best part of this season. He has been totally on his A game while the show has kind of struggled. Anyway, Zoe thought it would have been better shorter. Heidi teases him that he gets no sex for seven years for a broken mirror. I thought it was bad luck. Maybe it’s a German thing, or just Heidi’s dirty mind that I would like to think she has.

Korto used tons of seat belts and even had to get some from other contestants. Laura thought it had great shape and volume. Zoe would walk out the door in it right now and can’t believe it is made from car parts. Kors calls it elegant and self-edited along the way.

Leanne made the bodice out of car seats and cut up and fringed the belts. Kors thought the silhouette was fabulous and interesting and chic at the same time. Zoe was blown away and thinks it could go straight to Paris.

Stella says she went out of her comfort zone and yeah, you sure did. Laura didn’t like it and Kors thought the vest was more like her and the skirt was her trying to be ladylike. It seems random to him. Stella simply says thank you; take a lesson Keith!

Keith thinks it looks nothing like a car, and good, because that would be uncomfortable! Zoe calls him out on the big hole in the skirt and Keith says the model was forced to sit down. Laura can’t find a cohesive idea in there. Keith mutters that she should see his other stuff, prompting Laura to smile and say “excuse me?” Keith, she has four sons, she could break you in half. Don’t make Laura angry.

Keith starts to whine that he took the last outfit to the extreme and feels that the judges don’t appreciate him as the edgy designer he likes to think he is. Kors tells him that they aren’t trying to rein him in, he did it himself. Keith finds it hard to work so hard and be told the last outfit looked like a dowdy chicken. I think it was a sad chicken, Keith. Get the insult right. He says that “there is criticism, and then there are insults.” Oh, Keith, get ready.

Kors has to explain to him that design is a very public profession where people will comment on your work and you may not like it. You have to let it roll of your back and get back to the next project.

The judges confer.

The Good:

Jarelle – Kors liked the dramatic point of view and Zoe liked the sexiness.
Korto – Heidi thinks it was chic and Zoe wants one for herself. Kors thinks it was utilitarian and Laura thought it was beautiful.
Leanne – Heidi thinks it was flawless. Laura concurs. Kors though it was cut to perfection and it definitely paid off.

The Bad:

Stella – Kors thinks the two garments are ok, but the combination bothered him. Zoe thought it was too much for the eyes.
Blayne – Kors thinks there are too many ideas floating around. Zoe repeats her belief that the skirt needs to be shorter and Laura thinks it was a better idea than dress.
Keith – Kors thinks it lacked and Laura didn’t like the concept. Zoe thought it was not flattering from the front, side or back. Ouch. Kors also thinks it was insane to blame the model and critic when you are in charge of your own destiny.

Commercials – I read an article recently talking about how Woody Allen had his best box office in years with Vicky Christina Barcelona and the writer was surprised. My comment – it is a movie featuring a three-way with Scarlett Johanssen. I am shocked it wasn’t #1 at the box office!

Final results. Jarelle is in and he obviously thought he would win, not finish third. Heidi draws out the drama and tells Leanne that she won. Leanne does a really cute victory dance backstage. Korto is in.

Blayne is in, congrats on finishing eighth. Heidi says that Keith had a chance to be innovative but gave them a poorly constructed design. She says that Stella’s was no surprise and was disconnected and overly simple. Stella is in. Keith nods. He gets the best consolation prize on TV: two kisses from Heidi Klum.

He sobs in his closing interview and is quite disappointed that he went home for something that wasn’t him. He says that in Utah there is not a lot of opportunity to get out and will one day show in New York. Um, if you want to be a designer, why not move away from Utah?

Next week: Diane Von Furstenberg, as my wife loses her mind. Someone’s design has some crotch issues. Oh, and Architeuthis returns. I hope you enjoyed your guest host this week. I am out.


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