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And THIS Is Why I Love Reality TV: Make An Ass Of Yourself For Diddy

I don’t want to work for Diddy. I would never want to work for Diddy. I can’t work for someone who calls himself Diddy on his own accord. I’d rather refer to him as SJPDPDSPCSC. I’m in the minority, I know. Everyone else in the world wants to work for Diddy and doesn’t mind calling him whatever name he wants to be called.

The pros:

1. Diddy is a slick, clever, smart, intelligent businessman. He made his own money. He throws his own money around. He has an empire that he built himself. He’s like a crunked out Donald Trump. Instead of The Donald, he’s The Diddy.

2. The people who have been his assistant in the past have gone on to have great jobs. They learned everything they would ever need to know by being Diddy’s assistant. Have you seen From G’s To Gents? Farnsworth Bentley went from carrying around Diddy’s umbrella to hosting his own show.

3. Hobnobbing. While being an assistant doesn’t afford much time to hobnob, the assistant still gets to jetset and be in the vicinity of stardom.

The cons:

1. Diddy is an egotistical materialistic maniac who wears his sunglasses at night and has a penchant for screaming and cursing into his cell phone and making people do stupid things like walk from one borough to another to another at 3 AM or run 8 miles in the bitter cold because he knows they will.

2. Well, really, Con #1 is enough for me. I mean, come on. He’s a bit too nutty, no?

Despite this humongo con, thousands of people applied to work for Diddy. His close reliable rotating team of 5 or so judges keep cutting down the applicant pool week by week. They send the teams on missions. Some missions make sense like putting together an ad campaign for Sean Jean sunglasses. Some missions make no sense like making them navigate through the woods with a compass—because that’ll come in handy when Diddy goes camping in a deserted area and has to answer trivia questions about himself.

The competitors are a trip. One is in her late 30s or early 40s with an Ivy League degree and a lot of curly hair. Another is a transgendered female named Laverne. I wouldn’t bring up the transgender thing if she didn’t constantly bring it up and use phrases like “shocked and Rupauled.” Then there’s Kim who calls herself Poprah and has compared herself to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Malcolm X because she persevered through an asthma attack and her teammates accusing her of faking it.

I honestly don’t see Diddy hiring any of these people. If he does, hopefully the series continues so we can take bets on how long before he fires whomever he hires.

I can’t believe how many times I wrote the word “Diddy.” Can you? Have you figured out what SJPDPDSPCSC means yet? Email me by clicking on my envelope up top. [b] [url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/newbb/ ]Chat in the forums.[/url][/b] You can also check out my other life at [b][url=http://christinamrau.blogspot.com]Livin’ The Dream (One Loser At A Time)[/url][/b] or share thoughts about non-reality tv with [b][url=http://www.xanga.com/getmoregossipgirl]Get More Gossip Girl[/url][/b] and [b][url=http://theunromancingofroma.blogspot.com]The Unromancing of Roma[/url][/b].


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