|Here’s the deal. I planned to write this column every other week during the summer. I went on vacation and then had to catch up on things when I got back, but then finally found time to start writing. Then the universe decided to cast upon me every kind of germ known, and probably some mystery ones still unknown, to man. I can’t even tell you how sick I was. That means that this column has been on the most irregular schedule ever. I think it’s kinda fun that way. Keeps you guessing. It’s kitschy.
For my comeback (this is like the third comeback of this column), I’m taking our favorite summer juggernaut to town. Big Brother. Oh, Big Brother. CBS, thy name is god.
BB10 has been the most interesting and fun season to come about in recent years. Finally, we’re back to complete strangers with few ridiculous twists. Finally, we’ve got scheming and deceit on the greatest levels. Finally, we’ve got criss-crossed alliances. Finally, we’ve got a live audience for every eviction night. Ah, yes, this is Big Brother at its finest.
Sure, the show makes me cringe and throw things. Jessie is an arrogant twerp. Renny is loud and obnoxious. Keesha and Libra are whiney. Memphis is an arrogant twerp. Dan is a self-loving twerp who needs to stop running his fingers through his own hair. April, Jerry, Ollie, that girl whose name I can never remember—they all have their moments, too. Actually, Ollie doesn’t. He’s gonna win this thing. He’s someone who had not made me throw things. Yet.
Sure, each episode could be condensed into twenty minutes, the rest being fodder and filler. That’s why fast forward is my friend. Still, this season has some more interesting parts with very little flirting, no mackin it (yet—please keep it that way unless Jessie gets it on with Memphis in a drunken stupor or something), and lots of in-fighting.
Some reasons I love Big Brother (and why you should love Big Brother, too):
[b] Night vision[/b]: It’s the freakiest looking thing on tv, but when the players climb into bed and start chatting away, it’s the best way to keep tabs on who’s saying what.
[b]Unnecessary subtitling[/b]: Why not subtitle the entire show in that fun yellow font? The editors add that in mostly at times when it’s not needed. Really, we can hear them all. They have mics on.
[b]Night vision COMBINED with subtitling[/b]: My eyes have never seen a more entertaining sight. These two things together mean scheming and lying are going on.
[b]Two way mirrors[/b]: People washing and plucking is fun to watch.
[b]Good bye messages[/b]: Why are people crying? Really. I like the ones that are transparent and fake so they get in good with the jury. So funny.
[b]The Voice of Big Brother[/b]: When the voice comes on and tells them to go to the diary room or to separate into different rooms or to go inside for lockdown because a banner is overhead, they scurry as if it’s the voice of God and they need to obey lest they be smote.
[b]Glittery, Sparkly Julie Chen[/b]: Man, does that woman take her job seriously or what? She always asks uncomfortable questions during live shows. She always asks dumb questions of the evicted housemate. She always creates an awkward situation and I love every minute of it.
Does anyone NOT watch Big Brother? If anyone is left who doesn’t, he or she needs to be strapped to a LaZBoy with the tuner set to CBS.
Do you love Big Brother too? Email me. [b][url=http://www.realityshack.com/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=2522&forum=2&post_id=40618#forumpost40618]Chat in the forums.[/url] [/b]
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