Tonight’s opening routine is done to Money, Money from the Broadway show Cabaret. Everyone is in traditional ‘20s-‘30s outfits… only with lots and lots of glitter. Ladies in flapper-style clothing (and glitter) and gentlemen in suits with tails and bowler hats (and glitter). A spinning player piano and money with Nigel’s face on it completes the number. Cat Deeley struts onto the stage amidst the dancers, wearing a simple lovely red dress and a funky Egyptian-like gold necklace-thing. Hmm. She tells us the routine was choreographed by Tyce Diorio. Well, duh.
Surprisingly, the couples danced two routines each on the performance night, which is a bit odd this early in the season. However, I will gladly take lots and lots of dancing over stupid video filler any day. Y’know, like the video segment we’re about to experience now.
Cat intros a montage that shows “another side” to Guy Smiley Tyce Diorio. While on the road, the judges would start out polite and cordial, but after hours and hours of lousy auditions, they didn’t sugarcoat their negative opinions anymore. I have to admit, I was a little bothered by clips of Nigel basically calling people “fat” or “stupid.” This is a DANCING audition. Not a modeling agency. You can make fun of the way they dance, but I don’t think you have any authority to be making fun of a person’s weight.
Anyway, even the guest judges were not-so-nice after a while, including super-nice guy Tyce Diorio. My favorite quote? “I don’t think you should do that ANYwhere, EVER again.” Hee.
On with the show. The first two couples on stage are Twitch and Kherington and Katee and Joshua. Have I mentioned my little crush on Joshua? I just think he’s a super-sweet guy beneath all that street-hard exterior, and that mambo number he did in those tight, tight pants certainly did nothing to abate my feelings. Kherington and Twitch started out with a paso doble in which I thought both dancers were very impressive. However, as the judges commented, it did seem as Kherington outshined Twitch just a bit in that routine. Then they did an outSTANDing job with their contemporary number, which had several people wanting a tilted bed, rose petals, and their very own Twitch to scratch their itch.
Katee and Joshua also did an impressive contemporary piece, in which you could see that the couple was just made to dance together. They click like no one else. Their second performance was a swing routine, which was a bit ‘eh’, but still very nice. Even at their worst, Katee and Joshua did better than some of the other couples.
“Which of you is the first couple in danger tonight?” asks Cat. “Katee and Joshua… it’s not you.” Joshua drops to the floor in relief while Twitch sadly nods. “Kherington and Twitch… it’s not you either!” Lots of jumping and screaming and more jumping and more screaming. Cat shoos them off the stage.
Kourtni with a K and Matt with an M are the next couple to hear their fate. They started the evening with a hip-hop routine which was icky-yucky. It wasn’t even just the style that was bad; they were never in sync and their movements were too… well, contemporary. And their mambo looked more like a brother and sister dancing rather than a hot-for-each-other couple. They’ve been in the Bottom Three twice before, and they’re in the Bottom Three again this week, unsurprisingly.
Courtney & Gev and Chelsie & Mark are now in the spotlight. Courtney and Gev did a hip-hop number, and Courtney needs to never, ever say the word “gangsta” again. Seriously, you suburban white chick, cut it out. But at least she brought it on stage and danced just as well as (if not better than) her partner Gev. They closed the show with a Broadway routine, playing a couple of tourists visiting New York. They were both outstanding, but it was Gev’s time to shine. Who knew a B-boy could do Broadway?
Chelsie and Mark started their night with a jazz routine to one of my favorite songs, Kiss Kiss. They are another of my favorite couples, able to show emotion and passion so well, it’s ridiculous. As goofy as I think Mark is, he was definitely made to dance. Their foxtrot was professional and was a piece of elegant excellence.
The second couple in the Bottom Three tonight is Courtney and Gev. We’re getting down to the nitty-gritty, Nigel explains, so every week someone will end up in the Bottom Three simply because of one small imperfection. However, I think it’s safe to say that neither of them will be going home tonight, and Nigel practically tells us all as such.
The final couple in the Bottom Three is either Jessica & Will or Comfort & Thayne. It was Comfort and Thayne’s first time performing together, and their first routine was a Broadway number. I actually thought they did very well, but Nigel was not impressed at ALL. They moved on to a waltz which was good enough to impress even nit-picky Mary Murphy.
Jessica and Will had opened the show with a jive, which had a lot of energy, some great turns and lifts, and plenty of personality. Later, they did an outSTANDing lyrical jazz number, successfully using a shirt as a prop. It was passionate, sexy, and just… wow. With that in mind, it’s no real surprise that our final couple in the Bottom Three tonight is Comfort and Thayne.
This week’s dancing entertainer is auditioner Robert Moraine, the pop-and-locker from L.A. who quit during the Vegas round. Wow, he dropped out! Let’s reward him by bringing him on the show anyway! And seriously, there is an entire world full of great professional dancers out there, why are we bringing back AUDITIONERS? Uf. And I STILL think there’s a big difference between dancing and contortionism. But hey, that’s just me. Everyone is entertained though, and there’s some talk of him having a dance-off (or a contortion-off) with another pop-and-locker that was on the show but I don’t remember off hand. “We could contact Philip,” Nigel says, “but would you chicken out again?” Heh.
These Snuggle Happy Dances? Big joke. I would gladly dance for free tickets, but it looks like they’re only giving tickets to people who just wiggle and gyrate randomly. The one who makes the biggest fool of him/herself on TV wins! Woo! Lucky you!
The first to dance for her life is Kourtni. She dances to No Man by Nina Storey. It’s a contemporary number, so you can use your imagination: lines, jumps, arms, stretches, occasional twirl. Next is Matt to Sweet Contentment by Bradley James. His long-as-all-heck arms and legs make his contemporary numbers interesting to look at, but he has no personality whatsoever. He has that same default grin for EVERYthing he does. Hip-hop, contemporary, jazz… it’s just big cheesy grin.
Courtney is next with Maria Mena’s What’s Another Day, and she’s not messing around. Up, down, twirls, jumps: she is all over the place, but not in a messy chaotic way. Then, Gev to Fatboy Slim’s Everybody Loves a Carnival. To be honest, I don’t really remember seeing any of his hip-hop, breaking stuff, but I’m glad I got a chance to see it now because he is AWESOME. Like, seriously. He completes with a ginormous flip that brings his head incredibly close to the floor, but he’s in complete control and lands on his feet. Cat, however, just about had a heart attack.
Comfort dances down the stairs to Twista’s Hit the Floor. She’s a good dancer, but I can understand now why she keeps getting by on just the skin of her teeth. If she survives tonight, she may not last another hit to the Bottom Three. Finally, Thayne moves to I Want to Break Free by Queen. Excellent song, excellent performance, even excellent wardrobe. Just simple jeans, dress shirt, and tie, but he looks like a guy who just busted out of his cubicle saying, “I want to break free!”
While the judges deliberate, it’s time for our musical guest. OneRepublic made their first TV performance on this show (for realz?), and they’re back for another. I know they get a lot of crap, but I kinda-sorta like them. Maybe not THIS performance, but I do like them. And besides, Ryan Tedder is kinda-sorta cute. When he’s not singing falsetto, that is.
It’s time to seal the deal. Ladies to the front please. Nigel admits that in all his years of working on American Idol and SYTYCD, he has never cared as much about the contestants as he does this season. He is almost looking forward to when the American public’s votes take over because making the decisions this year is especially difficult. For example, tonight’s decision was not unanimous. Courtney is safe, of course. But when it comes to Comfort and Kourtni, Comfort did not get Nigel’s vote because he didn’t think her solo was strong enough. However, due to other judges’ votes she will be staying, and Kourtni is leaving tonight.
Gentlemen, please. Gev is so obviously safe, and he is quickly shooed off the stage. Matt came into the program at a high level, but he has not grown through the season, so he will be leaving tonight. Aww, poor lanky Matt with an M. I think he was a fantastic dancer, but he had difficulty when it came to acting the roles he was put into.
Until next week… Joshua, call me? Please? Or e-mail me at email@example.com.