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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

American Idol 7, Jan. 22nd – Back For a 2nd … or 10th Time


The American Idol auditions last week in Philadelphia and Dallas certainly whet our appetite, but they were also a little different, a little more calm, a little less caustic. Some liked it better; some didn’t. Tonight we’re in San Diego, and it makes you question what we’re in store for tonight.

First up to audition is a very confident Tatiana Ostapowych, 24, of Venice, California, singing Someone to Watch Over Me. She has a pretty voice, but it’s not very exciting. Nevertheless, I think she deserves to go on. Simon tells her he doesn’t think she’s as good as she thinks she is, as he doesn’t think she’ll ever be great. She asks what the problem is, but he claims there isn’t one. Proving this, she gets three yeses from the judges, and swears she’ll prove him wrong. He calls her obnoxious as she walks out. For some reason Ryan follows her down the hall jumping.

We’ve seen the young single mothers auditioning, now here’s a young single father, Perrie Cataldo, 27, of Phoenix Arizona. His son’s mother died a few years back, and Perrie now calls it a growing process in terms of responsibility. Just like the single moms, he wants his son to have what he never had. He sings Voice to Me, and has something that’s hard to put your finger on. Simon tells him he has a really, really good voice, and Randy tells him he’s on. He has three yeses, and it’s our second on in a row! The little boy runs in to the audition and says, “Hi, Simon.” This guy is one I hope makes it. There’s just something there.

Next up is Michael Johns, 28, of of Los Angeles, but he’s originally from Australia. He sings I’ve Been Loving You Too Long, and he reminds me a little of The Commitments. Simon calls it a really good audition, calling him a white soul singer. Paula tells him he has good control, and she likes it too. Randy likes that he made it his own, adding in some runs, and gives him 100% yes, as do the others. What’s going on here? Three yeses in a row to start the show?

Those tricky American Idol judges were just pulling our legs, though, as we now get a run of bad auditions, and these are the people you can tell really think they’re good. But, they’re not.

Valerie Reyes, of 20, of Riverside, California, thinks she sings like Mariah Carey, and this just has the makings of not going well. She claims everyone hears her and thinks they’re hearing Mariah. She admits to watching the show and says she likes to laugh at the bad ones, as she can’t help it. Yeah, the making sf going badly. She sings Take a Look At Me Now, and yeah, this does go badly.

Sure, Valerie hits a high pitch like Mariah, but yet doesn’t hit it or anything else for that matter. Simon tells her the only resemblance to Mariah is her CD left out in the rain for a year, then someone trying to play it, meaning she sounds warped. Randy thinks she’d sound good if she’d stop trying to sound like someone else. Simon gives her a no, as do the others, and she looks totally embarrassed as she leaves. She then tells the camera she knows she’ll now be in the rejects clips. Umm, not just clips. You made the big time with a segment of your own!

And here are clips of the people that come to sing with gimmicks. There’s a guy in a serape and sombrero singing Get Here, while a mime acts it out nearby. Please, make it stop. He actually didn’t sound that badly. But if you wan tot be taking seriously, either ditch the mime or the sombrero … I’m just saying.

Christopher Baker, 22, in the health care field, and Monica Gibson, 24, a nurse … and singer, both of San Diego, come and audition together. He’s always loved to sing and claims he turns heads when he does, and she thinks she’ll make it to Hollywood, and even make it to the end. He thinks they’ll both make it to Hollywood, as they have “the look.” More evidence of something about to go badly.

When Monica enters her audition,Simon thinks it looks like three different people dressed her, as she has three different things going on, between her top, pants, and boots. Singing I Believe In Miracles, it’s just not happening. Simon tells her unfortunately not one word of it is going to happen. She tries with a different song, and he asks if he’s not getting through to her. There’s no song, no note, no word, that is going to rescue her. She starts to break down, and he tells her there’s nothing wrong with walking out of here knowing she can’t sing. She resolves to be back and says she’s hurt.

It’s Christopher’s turn, and of course, if they came together and one sounded horrible, it would follow that the other does as well, otherwise they certainly would have set each other straight. He sings Greatest Love of All, and is just as terrible, as Simon tells him there will be no children laughing after that. Asked if he thinks it sounds good, Christopher claims he does, and Simon replies they’re listening to two very different things, as there wasn’t a signal note in tune. He starts singing again, and while Simon wants to know why Christopher keeps staring at him, Randy questions how he can think it sounded good. He restarts once again … lower, and Randy points out every every time it goes off tune, which is often. After he starts singing again, the nice burly men off to the side come to escort him out. He and Monica sing their way out of the building, as if that’s going to help.


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