Amber is excitedly telling Jameka and Daniele that she has everything in the bag now. Mike totally has a crush on her, and Kail is her best friend forever. Seriously, this is what she’s saying. She goes on and on about all the things Kail said to her about how wonderful and emotional and genuine she is, and how she needs Kail to help her in this game. Amber thinks that the “five” (meaning herself, Dustin, Daniele, Nick, and Jameka) will all be safe with Kail, Jen, and Mike, and that she’s planted all the seeds to take care of Zach next week. She keeps saying that Mike was staring at her the whole time, and obviously has a huge crush on her. Someone punch her in the head. Quickly.
Now Amber’s telling them that Jen is the head of the Mrs. Robinson alliance because she’s the smartest one. Interesting, since Jenitard only learned of that particular alliance this afternoon. Daniele doesn’t believe it for a second, and says Jen is an idiot. Amber and Jameka want to know if Daniele would be willing to vote to evict her dad, and she says no, she won’t be that daughter. If one of “the five” were on the block against Dick, she’s make sure that her alliance was safe with everyone else in the house, and then throw her dad a pity vote.
Daniele wants to know who Amber would nominate if she won HoH on Thursday. This is a completely pointless question, because the answer will change in about ten minutes. Amber says probably Kail and Zach. Jameka suggests Jen and Zach, and then Kail as the replacement if one of them wins PoV. Amber agrees, but I doubt she’d have the cajones to actually go through with it.
Amber leaves to find another victim to talk to. Daniele asks Jameka if she really believes that Jen is smart, which she does. They decide that Jen should be the first one to go then, from that alliance. Even though Daniele knows from Nick that Jen isn’t even part of that alliance. Oy. My head hurts. Jameka wants to know who in the house would put Amber up, but they can’t think of anyone. They decide that they can trust her for now, but the fact that she has so many connections will be dangerous later. They talk about who they trust in the house the most – each other, Amber, and Jameka adds Jessica. Daniele adds Nick, which is no surprise at all.
Amber finds Dustin, and tells him that Mike is totally in love with her. Oh, why do I have to listen to this again? If I have to hear it, you have to read it. Sorry, that’s the way it goes. She says that Mike kept looking at her, and she saw it in his eyes. He’s totally in love with her. She then admits that she’s had a bit of wine. Hee. She’s starting to doubt everyone now, especially Jameka, who she thinks is a floater and not to be trusted. Apparently Jameka told her not to be so clingy with Dustin, which she didn’t appreciate because she loves Dustin so much. Oh, and Dick told her this too, so obviously he has a crush on her as well.
Joe comes over and warns Amber and Dustin that people are starting to talk, and everyone thinks that the two of them are in cahoots with Mrs. Robinson, exchanging votes for safety. Amber insists it’s not like that, but wonders why everyone is telling her that today. Please Joe, put her out of her misery. There has to be a heavy, blunt object out there somewhere. Joe tries to get Amber to go up and try to convince Jen that the only chance she has now of saving herself is to agree to nominate Zach. Amber won’t promise anything. He also asks her to tell him, if he ends up on the block, which way she’ll be voting so he’ll know whether he has to secure Jessica and Jameka or not.
Joe goes up to talk to Jen, and it’s one of the most circular conversations I’ve ever heard. Joe keeps insisting that everyone wants Zach out, and Jenitard responds that this is the exact reason why she’s not going to nominate him. She wants him around next week so there’s another target in the house. Which, I hate to admit, makes a lot of sense. She also knows that Zach won’t nominate her if he wins HoH. Joe demands to know if he’s going up, but Jen won’t give him a straight answer.
Amber goes upstairs to talk to Jen as well, and mentions that the house wants Zach up. No kidding, really? Jen says no, Joe is going up. Amber immediately says that she won’t be voting to keep Joe in the house. Thank goodness. Hopefully that won’t change by Wednesday.
Now, consider how a conversation would go between two women whose favourite topics to talk about are themselves. I’m in the middle of that conversation right now. Jen is talking about how strong she is, and Amber is rattling off the same story about being addicted to speed and driving too fast and getting into an accident and God showing her the way out. Something’s gotta give here – I’m expecting the house to implode. Then Amber tells Jen that she thinks Nick is just playing Daniele and really has feelings for Jenitard. Why oh why does she utter stuff like this? Honest to goodness, I don’t even have the foggiest clue what must run through Amber’s mind, but I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t have a brain-to-mouth filter of any sort.
Jen talks about how running away from home made her stronger, and she was still a good student and kept up with all of her activities, yadda yadda. Amber shares that she started doing speed because her dog needed surgery, and she found she could make more money at her job when she was high. Must find another feed to watch now.
Dick, Daniele, Joe, Eric, and Jameka are all outside wondering why Amber is spending so much time in the HoH room talking to Jenitard. I wonder if Eric is still up because he’s waiting to “sleepwalk” into someone’s bed. He thinks that Kail is starting to miss her home and her family, and that the slop is adding to it.
The dynamic duo upstairs has moved on to talking about boyfriends and men they date and that kind of thing. Which I won’t bother with details on, because I want you to finish reading this without hating me forever.
Eric mentions how odd it is that Amber spent 24 hours chained to Kail, then had dinner with Mike, and has spent so much time with Jen, but she has nothing to share with everyone else about what she might have learned from them. He adds that he’s getting tired of seeing all of Jenitard’s nooks and crannies. Tell me about it.
Finally Amber leaves and comes downstairs, where Dick is waiting for her. She tells him that Joe is going up, it’s a done deal. She says it like she had something to do with it, and he owes her one. Jen comes out and looks down – she’s wrapped in a towel and it takes me a minute to recognize her without being covered in red.
Everyone else heads for bed, so Amber and Dick end up talking for a while. Of course Amber is talking about how Kail and Mike love her. Poor Dick. No wait, poor me. I’ve already heard this numerous times. Dick tries to talk some sense into her, saying that she can trust him and he loves her, but there might come a time in the game where he has to talk shit about her. He wants her to know right now that it won’t be true, and he has her back. He also advises Amber to stop being so cozy with Dustin. He says these things a few times, in different ways, hoping that she’ll understand what he’s saying. I’m not sure if she does or not.
As Amber and Dick are talking, Dustin and Joe are fighting inside, in the bedroom, in the dark, surrounded by other people who are trying to sleep. Dustin gets up to go to the bathroom, and when he comes back Joe starts asking him if he knew who Joe wanted Jen to nominate in the beginning. Dustin says no, and Joe says ah-ha! He’s caught in a lie, because Dustin knew that Joe wanted Jen to nominate Dustin. Following this so far?
Dustin can’t believe that Joe is doing this, and tells him to let it go and get back to sleep. Joe goes back to bed, but he’s back at Dustin’s side soon after, rehashing all the trust issues they have, and how Joe slept with Dustin’s best friend, and blah blah blah. It’s a silly argument, and Dustin seems fed up completely. They go at it a couple of times (get your mind out of the gutter, I’m still talking about the fighting) before Joe finally leaves Dustin alone and goes to bed.
Back to the backyard now, and Dick is alone giving us the Dick at Night Show. He’s talking about Kail and how he wants her out, how he’s planning to rattle her cage. It would be the perfect week for Dick to win HoH because he can put up whoever he wants to and get out of it with his hands clean. I’m not following this 100%, but he’s proud of his daughter winning the PoV and pretty much saving both of them. He’s planning to get closer to Jessica now, and distance himself from Dustin a bit. No wait, he wants Dustin out soon. There we go.
Dick walks through the backyard, sits to smoke, goes inside, comes back outside, and all the while he’s speaking animatedly, saying that it’s been a great day for him, a great day for the house, and he’s so happy that his first time on the block is going to turn out so well. He warns himself not to get too overconfident, but he knows that he’ll be there on Thursday night while Joe will be walking out the door.
He starts to wind down a bit and goes inside, and I’m taken to four feeds of darkened bedrooms. Looks like we’re done for the night – but what about Eric’s sleepwalking? Rats, I hope I didn’t miss it.
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