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And THIS Is Why I Love Reality TV: Jerry Springer-The Smartest Man Alive



JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! For years, we’ve heard this simple chant from one studio audience after another. For years, Jerry Springer has become master of the trash talk show world. He’s outlived the likes of Richard Bey, Jenny Jones, and Sally Jesse Raphael. Now we get to see why. The Springer Hustle is a documentary reality show that reveals what goes on backstage at The Jerry Springer Show.

Backstage is probably how you imagine it. Chaotic. Producers and assistant producers hustle (hence the name of the show) at all hours of the day and night, finding, interviewing, and securing guests. They are on the phone and on foot, seeking the uncle who sleeps with his chickens and the daughter who loves her half-brother in that not-so-sisterly way. The producers are all under pressure to produce a show within a very short period of time. Otherwise, they get fired.

When guests are finally secured, the producers then have to make sure the guests arrive on time to the studio. Once that happens, the yelling begins. These people have problems. We all have problems. However, the producers make sure that the problems become the worse problems in the world. They don’t exactly coach the guests. They get the guests riled up to the point where anger and the idiotic merge into a frenzy of screeching and fighting. Everyone wants the fight. The producers make sure they get at least one.

Right before guests go out, the producers coach the guests to remember what they went through a few minutes ago. Then the guests go out and fight fight fight. One producer threatens guests to be entertaining or else. He curses at them. He’s not very good at his job.

In the meantime, the executive producer, who has grown out his hair and wears a stoner ponytail, grumbles about who’s doing a good job and who’s doing a bad job. The very important tv people look at numbers and ratings and figure out who has the best shows during sweeps. This gets technical and a little boring.

The best part is seeing how they put together a show for the Too Hot For TV DVDs. Jerry Springer has made a fortune off these DVDs alone. Billions of dollars. He’s rich. Because of all these crazy producers dying to get the next incestuous loony on a plane to the studio. The Too Hot For TV shows include a lot of nudity and also the guy who married his horse.

Now, usually, I’m all “what’s this world coming too?” I usually object to any sort of violence or ridiculousness of this nature. However, I can’t help but love Jerry Springer. His Final Thought always redeems the rest of the show because it’s intelligent. Jerry Springer is a smart, smart man. The Springer Hustle is another part of his grand scheme—it gets his name out there in a different way. Plus, the fighting here is practically staged. It’s expected. Steve is the superstar for breaking up the fights. We all know how it goes.

[b]And THIS is why I love reality tv[/b]: It allows exceptions to the rules. It breaks the rules of decency in the most splendid ways. Then shows everyone how to do so as well.

JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! Chant along with me in the forums. Email me. See why I’m an [b][url=http://www.newsday.com/impulse]Impulse All-Star[/url]![/b]


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